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Show THE ZEPHYR JUNE 1991 making sure all the critters are left In place. Still, the Idea of sneaking past the guards may be Irresistible to an adventuresome few. And those who actually succeed deserve to be rewarded, not punished. So I would like to suggest that anyone who can penetrate the perimeter of a wilderness area without getting caught, be allowed to return there for no less than one month. But only by the terms and conditions set down In Alternative IN 471 S. MAIN WHILE DESERT PLAZA, SUITE 7 Alternative 2 THE PARK wiTHlt .HAGGUtfG OMEtIHlSi IDGoaRatioiHT I Maybe Im being too misanthropic. Its like Mickey Rourke once said, "Its not that I hate people. Its Just that I feel a lot better when they're not around. Perhaps Its an unworkable Idea. So consider this possibility. You arrive at one of the several designated points of entry Into a wilderness area. A member of the citizens council, assigned to this checkpoint, explains the wilderness You must concept accept nature on Its terms, not yours. To be a part of nature, you must blend In with nature. You must be like the bird, the bear, the whlptall lizard. You must breathe freely and uninhibited through each and every pore of your body. You must be naked. Thats right Strip off the camera and binoculars. Unbutton that shirt Unzip your trousers. Remove those stylish lavender briefs. Unsnap that bra. Bare your chest and bare your soul. Hidden splendors await you. Why not reveal your own? You will have no use for Patagonia In a wilderness area. You can leave your JanSport pack at home. We came Into this work! naked, and we can go Into wilderness areas the same way. However, once Inside the wilderness, all restrictions cease. You have entered the primal world as a primal man and you are allowed to do whatever Is required to survive. If you can "grin a bear to death as Davy Crockett Is reported to hwe done, more power to you. There are no bear seasons In the wilderness. Within these wild places, Man will the skills, the talents, the link to the land that we lost so long ago. He will find them, or he will perish, for there are no search and rescue teams In wilderness areas, no helicopter UfeFllghts. Sheriff Nyland and the Team can rest easy this Is out of their Jurisdiction. . There are those among you who will believe this alternative Is grossly unfair. Some will argue that It favors the exhibitionist types who like to run around naked, who are always the first ones to strip bare at a hot tub party. I have considered this argument carefully and decided It has Its merits. Being somewhat modest myself, I believe It Is necessary to deal directly with the problem. Therefore, I propose that a catalpa tree be planted at each wilderness area point of entry. The catalpa leaf Is very large and very durable. Several leaves should cover every part that anyone might want to and of allow the conceal, shyest the shy to walk freely. Cist F A OK. well-plac- ed Alternative 3 FALLOW WILDERNESS (COMPROMISE) 1 1 Quality Realty, Inc. 2. BAREFOOT PAGE HottJ 7 UP A Toll Free Ext. 800-345-46- 65 259-502- FAX: 521-- Z 1 259-838- 7 Put your trust in Number One: 0 Equal Housing Opportunity EACH OFFICE IS INDEPENDENTLY OWNED AND OPERATED r DON & KAY SWASEY Scrimshaw Farmers long ago dscovered the value of letting cultivated fields lay fallow for a of time. They learned that when they planted crops year after year on the same piece period of ground, they sucked the nutrients right out of the soli and eventually left It barren and unproductive. The good earth needed a rest, a chance to recover and recuperate. , The same can be said of wilderness. How many years have passed since It was first suggested that, by our sheer numbers, we were loving our favorite wild places to death? This alternative suggests a compromise of the first two options set forth In this iQ)h,Op 57 North Main Moab, Utah 84532 essay. Instead of banning all humans for all time, let's open them up for periods of a few years, and then close them for awhile. Let the rocks, and trees and critters take a breather. Well set up the openings and closures of the different areas on a rotation basis. But If the rush to any one wilderness reserve becomes excessive, the EARTH FIRST IW ALU Team will be on hand to control the crowd and boot them out If necessary. As for the "wilderness In the buff proposal, we can perhaps modify that Idea to allow clothing that was made by hand from natural fabrics (please, no synthetics). One thing you will not see In these proposals Is any claim of "economic benefit Im not particularly Interested In economic benefits when It comes to wilderness. Neither was the United States Congress when they passed the Wilderness Act Some environmental groups have claimed that wilderness designation will be a great boon to the fortunes of nearby communities. Thats a pretty lame reason. Wilderness, If we can get past the rhetoric, both for and against Is a very simple, pure Idea. It is a savings account for the future. How many of us wish we could return to the homes we grew up In, and could find them Just the way we left them? The same yard, the same trees, the same forsythla bush by the fence. They would be like old friends that never change. To me, thats what wilderness Is all about Maps & Books Jewelry Turquoise s Dinosaur Bone Souvenirs Jewelry ReDairs Home Brewing Supplies Let us be your silversmith Custom Orders Welcome 801-259-53- 60 Tom Reel contracting SWfc.VbU COCK-- A bOOPU " ?! CAaI 'I, -- BUT HOW FINEST FAMILY RESTAC1RAN OPEN 6 a.rtt 259-835- 2 COME IN FOR THE BEST HOME COOKED MEALS Box 1806 Castle Valley Star Route Moab, Utah 84532 (801) 259-7296 Cabinets, Furniture,: Doors and Custom Interior Finishing, custom homes, additions, remodeling : .. 1075 So. Hwy 191 ir. w? ' Xt $. |