| Show MM CLUB s I 1 the american lu met imet last week to discuss party prospects prospect heal party wounds and formulate ancl a mcw declaration of american I 1 d ence as understood try abe ithe virtuous 51 and unassuming crowd 0 of motley pal pa j triot ariot known as the tee nei kacich ch and kearne brigade of heelers and ana grafted el gr filters afteM A committee was appointed in a short time presented the follow ing which was adopted ly LV a 1 ii rising ising vote when in the course ot of human events events it becomes necessary tor for a discredited party that thatis is neither apoi i lotical nor religious but an 1 nihed and Iry hybrid brid to set forth the reasons w why by after breaking has made lit ift should every p promise romise it tie be continued in III power a decent regard for its anxious office holders and hangers on demands that the english language be put on ou double shift to enable it to twist and turn words into every conceivable meaning that it may be able to rocil fool voters into again supporting it on clec election tion lay day we now solemnly assert that we have ben been oppressed by an immense hierarch who in a cruel and vindictive manner has disturbed our peace of 0 mind by accepting church tithing from people whom we havis have no dealings with in III tact fact with most of whom we are not acquainted we have made several protracted prot eais but all our protests have been in vain this unjust hierarch stays at head of main street and wears long whiskers which is more than we eau can tear bear we also solemnly assert that he be is currently reported to have more than 0 one e wife which knowing the inclinations of several of our leaders is rank injustice and excites jealousy we have been oppressed we have been left out in the cold have never been consulted about church tit tithing bing lind and lastly we must be reelected re elected we need the dough to prove these things let the following be submitted to an easily deceived city this immense hierarch has refused to account to us tor for the church tithing he has collected he has not invited us to his quorum he permits the publication of a better and a more decent paper thau than ithe tribune he has named for apostles men other than the ones we predicted he would name named i which has made us re di dl culous ilous and caused people to la laugh cagl at us he pays pays no attention whatever to frankle frankis which hurts he has refused to assist our d dad d tommy to be reelected elected re senator in spite of the tact fact that tommy made three separate and distinct trip to the sacred retreat of this dreadful hierarch to solicit such support and he promised to call the tribune off bioni saving mean things about him and daily printing his picture but the awful hierarch budge but said to tommy go to and Tommy has been going boing to since he quiet while a wicked legislature elected one george sutherland as senator to succeed tommy knowing full well that said sutherland Is a much smarter mart man than tummy and chis his enemy clemy all of which is awful lie he has permitted one smoot who has protracted legs to be elected a senator while tommy remains a back number we submit to a candid world that this is most awfully awful he laughed as only an immense hierarch can laugh laila when tommy failed to obtain gov thomas scalp as postmaster a laugh that was not mild and respectful but hearty and full of 0 rejoicing this i was very painful ire he nener neer objected when our joe was fired out of the U S attorneys office to make room lor for one booth whom tommy joes not like ile he smiled audibly when bell heywood yas was removed as marshall marshal and will spry appointed appoint eil in in his place this was also most awfully awful we also solemnly assert that if continued in tower power we will continue to raise the taxes we will continue to pay the trib tine line double rates for public advertising we will continue to add to the number of names on the pay roll to increase our noting strength we will contin continue lo 10 advertise re improvements we cannot imaki to serve as an excuse for letting the tribune gt get into the city treasury and lastly having let moran plaster the he inside of the conduit as an excuse to permit a graft we promise to let him plaster it on the outside to get our fingers on 7 5 more and it if any come along next 3 ear car we will not let bet confidence men get away with the ilie money we will te tako ta ko carlof care of it ourselves with these honest principles as our motto we put ourselves into the hands of the voters of stilt salt lake once more gentlemen please bite again |
