Show HE FELT GRATEFUL the ticket man at the theater had lust opened up for business when a fellow hurried into the lobby and passed a cigar through the window with the remark have a smoke on me old chap what s this fora asked the man in the box office for past favors was the reply those were excellent seats you gave me and a lady friend last night oh I 1 see yes sir he continued and I 1 really ought to make it bait a dozen weeds considering what you did for me well I 1 m glad you liked the seats said the ticket man let s see dlan t I 1 place you in F nos 2 and 47 no sir in R 10 and 12 in R 10 and 12 then then this a a bit of sarcasm on your part not at all sir not at all replied the other earnestly there is a thick post between those seats you know yes why I 1 thought that s why I 1 liked them he inter erupted that old maid with me got sentimental after the third act and started to make me a leap year pro dosal but I 1 kept her dodging around the post until the curtain went up again and I 1 was saved here have an other A B lewis in judge albert said the editor of the bugle to the baseball reporter I 1 see that rev van deusen married jud hicks to susy philbrick this morning write up a couple of lines about it fifteen minutes later the baseball reporter red faced and perspiring turned in the following A tie game was put up this a m by rev van deusen who assisted a double play to hicks the game was called at 10 15 and none of the decisions was disputed mr hicks batting average which has been toler ably high in the past will doubtless be lowered considerably though from reliable reports the young couple ex hect to make a home run in the near future puck CHEERFUL THOUGHTS evelyb I 1 am in the blues today to day I 1 never felt so miserable myrtle why I 1 can always cheer myself up thinking what beautiful clothes I 1 could buy if I 1 only had the money no great curiosity over in the cairo museum remarked the man who likes to tell about his travels I 1 saw the ashes of the egyptians that s nothing laughed his friend as he emptied a small saucer here Is a handful of the ashes of the egypt what yes egyptian cigarettes chicago dally news the inquiring mind it was little dots first visit to a farm and she went with her aunt to see how the pigs were fed the little one gazed in astonishment at the young corkers porkers for a moment and then placing her hand on her curly hair she said reflectively Aun tyl yes dear does 00 oo put all the pig gies tails in curl papers royal magazine HE WOULD BE BROKE mrs acker charlea have you no alced how much change there Is in this years spring mr acker gloomily no agnes but I 1 know there wont be much change la my pockets when you get through THE WINNING THICK woman has but one trick als that of the eyes arom birth the knows the power that in them lies she has but to look and long she needs no speech and man will resign the boon her eyes beseech A trick of the eyes has the for husband lover brother woman has but one trick she needs no other HANDY AND LEGGY TOO there being only one mirror in tha dressing room this Is how the family of acrobats manage their toilet disappointing you could read the womanly woman s disappointment in her moist eya and quivering lip what Is ita we gently asked while our hearts went out to her my husband s present to me sha faltered Is it not what you expected no only what I 1 told him I 1 ex pecked of course we felt tor her why we asked ourselves aid such dense men presume to marrye puck the danger sign when you see a woman with a towel around her head beating a carpet with a broom remarked the spring philosopher do you know what it Is the sign of yes responded the man who had left homo to escape house cleaning it means it is time to take to the tall timber unless you wish her to wield the broom against you instead of the carpet chicago dally news called reggy bah jove I 1 told my tailor id like to marry some rich girl and become interested in settlement work percy what did be say reggy he said id beatr get to work and make a settlement on that suit I 1 bought two years ago chicago dally news SO SILLY OF HIM I 1 vo just had my hair shampooed oed with champagne there s always so much sham about girls heads 1 chicago journal would bo needed assistant to country editor hows this obituary editor why it s my own yes that haskens chap the dead in hero yesterday looking for you with a gun and I 1 thought it anything should happen you might like to correct the proofs beforehand life instinct I 1 got a terrible tur bad boldt in my headd isaacs chy dont you take some things tor it absent how much hlll you git me puck something unusual rounder I 1 am afraid my liver la getting out of order sounder what makes you so rounder I 1 was worrying about my debts this morning in chicago dearborn Is he following in the footsteps of his father wabash ob yes his father bad ell wives aal the eon has had tour so far yonkers statesman f ftc |