OCR Text |
Show THE HOME, J This Department is Edited by Miss Hazel Love of the Agricultural Agricul-tural College. THE ETHICS' OF HOME-!MAKING Boston Cooking School Mag. The duty of home-making has been discussed a great many times, yet a careful consideration of much that has been said and written by persons, who claim to know a great deal about it, reveals the fact that a onesided vic'w of the question is often taken. One continually hears about the "woman's duty to make a home for her husband," while the reverse, side of the case is almost never touched upon. Women themselves accept the situation as they find it, and scarcely ever voice a thought that must very, very often intrude itself into .the; mind of -even the most patient modern Grisclda. Now, of course, it is perfectly proper prop-er to assume that the responsibility of all the domestic details that make up good house-keeping should fall to the wife and! mother; that the adornment, the refinement of the home depend, almost, if not quite, entirely upon her energy and her taste? that, this indefinable in-definable something in the atmosphere which wc may call homincss, emanates- from her personality. Grant all this and yet she cannot accomplish these results alone. Without With-out a certain and very definite co-op cration, she is powerless to make a homey home. What woman, for instance, in-stance, can go on indefinitely taking pleasure and pride in her well-cooked and daintily served meals, if they arc eaten by -a somewhat surly husband, without the least appreciation oreven recognition of her constant efforts? What woman continues to keep up a keen interest in making her home cozy and attractive, if the only comments com-ments arc: "I wondlcr why Mrs. Mark-ham's Mark-ham's parlor looks so much better than ours? I've spent enough moncv on these things to make a good appearance ap-pearance l" or, "Jim Bradford's wife is a corking good judge of pictures and furniture; their house never looks like a crowded junk shop as this place," qrt"Why don't you get Fanny Bangs .to. -show you how. to dnapc those cur tains; they all swag. At the table the same line of comment runs like a discordant dis-cordant accompaniment to the conversation: con-versation: "Don't try to have beans baked at home again, please; I can get them down town at a hotel, when I I want thenu" "What's the matter with them?" "Why of course I don't know, only they don't taste like moth- cr's beans;" or, "these potatoes arc cold," pushing the dish back; "if there's anything I dislike, its cold vegetables; my sister Agnes has her - faults, but she never sat the family down to a half cold dinner; didn't come when the bell rang?; wait and let Jane warm them?; I can't wait all day for the dinner to be cooked over; i I've got to get back to my work." With some such remark, the lord of the house departs, never seeing the I pained look in his wife's eyes. Years of petty fault-finding will destroy i every atom of house-wifely pride and joy, unless, as sometimes happen, a child's appreciation keeps it alive. j Little Dora's perfect faith that Mamma ltns things just right, no mat-tor mat-tor what Papa says, is a healing balm for a great innny sharp and deep wounds that arc bravely hidden from prying eyes. With the intcntivc knowledge of childhood, little Dora knows that 1 Mamma has not been kindly dealt with; that, somehow something- is 1 very wrong with something. Where an clement like this exists, no one person can make a home. There may be excellent cooking, a well ordered house, nicely served meals, but the spirit of home, which is mutual appreciation ap-preciation as well as mutual effort, is lacking. No woman alone can "make .1 home" for a man who docs not, by appreciation, sympathy and recognition recogni-tion of loving services, lovingly rendered, ren-dered, help to build the structure. It not infrequently happens that it j is the woman who docs not do her part of the building. The home is always al-ways being built, and if the building process is abandoned it soon gets out of repair, and in such a case, the same result follows. No man can come to his so-called home, night after night, and findl an untidy house, untidy quarreling children, child-ren, a badly cooked dinner and a I wife indifferent to everything in the world except, perhaps a evening party par-ty or a matinee, or Marie Corclli's last novel 1 There is no home atmosphere atmos-phere there. Hc has simply come back to an uncomfortable dwelling place, to which he is 'bound by social law -and habit. He pays the grocer's bills, the servant's wages, dress maker's mak-er's and milliner's bills, and bills for the children', tuition and music lessons, les-sons, but alasl he is very far from having built a home. There are several sev-eral types of women who arc not home-makers'. There arc, likewise several types of men who arc not home-makers. Sometimes this lack of the home-building capacity is -merely an inherent infirmity, as much to be pitied as to be blamed. There is a male prototype of Dickens "Little Dora" that few people take into ac-' ac-' count. 1 He is the amiable, plcasatt man whose intentions arc better than his I performances. He is perfectly un conscious of his failings and his failures. fail-ures. ,' lie "docs the best he can" and his ibest is not even a "second best," bu: a fifth rate best, or even farther down in the scale. . , . . In every class of society, women are found providing the daily bread as well as the daily strengthening spirit of the home. !Thc washwoman, who hurries home tdjgct dinner ready for the children and their incompetent father, who is perennially "out of a job" is one ol these unfortunates. The restaurant waiters who "fill orders at some down town counter from one till four, leaving leav-ing eight-year-old Janie to mind the baby while she is gone, is another, close questioning will usually disclose the fact (if she isn't a widow) that her husband is "serving time" ioc some drunken row or, as she more delicately puts it, is in trouble. Then there is the educated, refined gentleman who does embroidery, or, typewriting, or anything on earth within the capacity, to be sure of the rent and grocery bills, "because James is really temperamentally un-fitted un-fitted to be in a subordinate position, antl the places he would find congenial congen-ial arc so hiard to find!" Of course one makes the mental comment thai Jiqjmcs is "temperamentally" selfish and egotistical, mnd one feels extremely ex-tremely sorry for James' poor wife; for neither the beauty of an apolld 7 nor the -complete list of masculine charms can offset a man's incapacity to do the every day duties of a man. That is the real point of view of the woman. She may try to deceive herself and other people, but no matter how she may admire "James, " musical, poetic, historic or any other talent if he can't do what ordinary, practical, work-a-day man docs, in her heart she has a contempt for him. She gently draws the veil, though sho rarely confesses as much. Sh chants praises of James' rare, .but unrecognized un-recognized gifts and bravely goes on in her efforts to "make the home." The writer remembers hearing one man say of another once, "The captain's cap-tain's a fine man, he can make anything any-thing down here except a dollar." The word made a last impression and they arc always recalled to her mind when the impractical man or impractical ideas is being considered certainly the faculty for "making a dollar" is an important one for the family man to possess, though he who possesses it alone will never fcc a genuine home-maker. After all is said, one comes back tc the first conclusion that homc-mak ing must be a mutual effort, because it is a mutual duty, equally insistent, equally bindjng upon the man and the woman. The happy home, where high ideals arc set and 'pure influences radiate, has its foundation laid upon love and patience and selfless thought, and is in reality and in truth, a house not buildcd by hands. Twilight Ilandi in hand sit Mother and Nan, Peace fully swaying to and fro, Lesson over a wondrous hour, Watching the flickering firelights glo;v "Now aren't we happy?" cries little Nan, "Rocking and visiting, just wc two," The nestling closer, "Oh, Mbthcr, dear, I always feel so at home with you." ALEX THORN. ? |