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Show Yx Says: I Badly-Disciplined Mothers Spoil Their Children I (Bell Syndicate WNU Service.) Little Don smiled at big Don and asked pleasantly "Would you tike to ask me that again, Dad?" His father was honest enough to answer yes, and the question ques-tion was repeated. By KATHLEEN N ORRIS THE problem of badly-disciplined badly-disciplined children is often only that of a bad- ly-disciplined mother. Spoiled children grow up to be reasonable human beings. At ten or twelve or even earlier ear-lier they come to their senses, realize that there is no gain in spitting, screaming, fighting, fight-ing, kicking when anything disappoints them. Then they merely smile when some aunt or cousin, remember- POOR DISCIPLINE Kathleen Norris places the blame lor ill-mannered children squarely on the shoulders of their parents. No child is perfect, and the best-mannered best-mannered will have occasional lapses, but the consistently naughty or disobedient child is the result of poor training. Miss Norris points out that such a child causes his parents shame and concern when he should be the source of infinite pride and joy. lovable little beings. They can be trained into politeness and pleasantness. pleasant-ness. They will have their lapses, of course. But if a mother can steel herself to a little heroism in the be- ing nursery days, says half-amusedly, half-amusedly, "My, but you were the spoiled baby!' School and contact with other children chil-dren are elements that quickly educate edu-cate the spoiled child. He or she wants to be popular, wants to be like the rest; teacher has no time for individual tantrums and sulks. Mama may go on indulging dear little Cecil or Mabel for a few years, but life isn't as tender as Mama. And it is the punishment of the undisciplined un-disciplined mother that her own child comes to regard her softness with indifference and contempt. No, it's never a child's fault that it is not trained, that it is allowed to make a perfect pest of itself, that it spits out food, screams when Mother leaves the room for a moment, mo-ment, interrupts, is untruthful, teases, answers rudely, disobeys, destroys. Some children do all of these things naturally; all children do some of them. It is entirely a question of the mother's willingness to train them that decides how long such habits shall endure. Many and many a mother loses through her own weakness the exquisite ex-quisite joy of her children's first years. They are to her a constant annoyance and responsibility, with brief moments of pride and affection scattered along the hard baby years of their lives. She has not the courage cour-age to deny the howling five-months old baby as a mid-meal the feeding he spurned at his regular bottle time. A few months later she explains that he always screams that way with any other guardian but herself. That a few sharp spanks on a fat baby leg would save not only herself but the baby hours of pain and tears doesn't occur to her. She doesn't know that the tone of a voice will discipline a six-months old baby far more effectively than a good sound whipping or denial of the circus will influence a five-year-old tyrant A Mean Disposition. Not long ago a four-year-old boy visited us. Obedience was no part of his plan. It took his mother five hours daily to coax three meals into him. Meat had to be cut fine; then it was too fine. Was there another chop? Milk had to be warmed; then it was too warm. Twice in 24 hours he screamed for a full hour. He got hold of matches. He threw a kitten into the pool. He cut an angle out of the screen of a door. He shrieked until his father gave in, and swung him much too high in the swing. He wanted every child's toy; he sa guarding them jealously. His small face already wears a mean, sly. sus-nicious sus-nicious expression. He will probably grow to be a nice enough boy. when he has learned some bitter lessons at school. Lessons Les-sons not in the books. But meanwhile mean-while the attitude of his parents is one of shame and concern, and it seems a great pity that what could be the source of infinite pr.de and joy to them is destroyed. For children can be made into wcll-behaved. happy, sclf-amusmg. ginning; if she is not afraid to establish es-tablish a few rules of conduct, she will win for herself some of the happiest hap-piest years a woman can know. All the baby authorities tell youns mothers that no child should be fed for more than 20 minutes. When he begins to dribble out the spinach, or play with the bottle, or work food about in his mouth in the manner described by the disgusting word "sloshing," he is having a good time at your expense. If you have the courage to stop right then and refuse re-fuse him all food until the next feeding feed-ing time, you won't have to repeat the process more than three times. One reason why many of us grew to strength and stature years ago was because our mothers, with ten, eight, seven children to raise, didn't have any time to waste on our infant vagaries. Besides that, anyone who wanted a second helping of pudding had to make brisk work of the first helping. Puddings, in the nineties, vanished more quickly than they do today, when we all pamper and coax and flatter small appetites too much. A Cure for Rudeness. "The one thing of which we had to cure our child was rudeness," writes a Kentucky mother. "Don was an adorable, well-behaved baby, but at six he returned from his primary pri-mary school ruder and noisier and bolder every day. We didn't mind the boldness and noise, but to get a surly impatient answer from our adored boy was too much. His father fa-ther scolded, I sent him from the room, refused lollipops, did everything every-thing I could think of. All no use. "This went on for three or four months, and I began to feel that I had lost my friendly little companion compan-ion forever, when an older mother suggested a simple cure that she said had worked a miracle with her sons. It was just to give the child warning that a request or command was to be made. "We tried it, and our problem vanished into thin air in less than a week. Before asking Don anything, or interrupting him in any way, his father or I would say mildly, 'Don, I am going to ask you in a minute if you realize that it is bedtime, and I would like a gentle answer.' Or, Don, when I ask you if you want more steak please say yes or no nicely and quietly.' "From the first trial this worked like a charm. It never once failed, except when Big Donald and I failed. Instead of Impatient rudeness, the child began to listen and to consider. He is still as wild as an Indian when he is with the other boys. But at home I have my gentleman again. "Last night," the letter ends, "his father happened to speak to bim abruptly and inconsiderately. Little Don smiled at big Don and asked pleasantly, 'Would you like to ask me that again. Dad?' His father was honest enough to answer yes. and the question was repeated. It seemed to me then that all three of us had learned a valuable lesson, and I pass it along." i I |