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Show ASTONISHED THE OLD MAN. j ' Youngster's Language was Moat Thor. bughly Up to Date. PENMANSHIP OF THE GREAT. IP o Individuality L P. JENSEN, There It eerlalu gentleman of particularly refined Inttiacta and manner In Washington Who abhors tht Idea that bia young sou will become generally acquainted with ihe Ianguage or me nreet. The other after-noowhen he had just finished admonishing the boy that he should not play poio La the streets while roller oVatlng. he got a shook. The young-Kte- r had been told that sooner or iater he would flint himself in the station house, when he suddenly interrupted "Pop, did you ever see a cop after a man."' The proud parent replied that he had never teen a policeman at fuli speed after a prospective prisoner, but added that he believed there were any number of the force who were good speeders. "Well." continued the youngster, "the bicycle cops is the boys nowadays. J believe the cops that walks have at! sot the rheumatism, and with cops with Kuni feet, pop, I will run the tisk of Lo.ng pinched." The father gasped at the ' mixture of street" burled at him, and then remarked; "J don't think there is any use of you going out into the street to skate." Straightway he issued orders, and his young son now skates Sn the back yard. - n Successor to .1 still i Gates, HEADQUARTERS For Hats, Caps, Shoes and Rubber (Hoods, and (units' Furnishings, run-nln- Will also cany a complete line STAPLE AND FA( which will be sold at Live f GROCERIES V and-Let-Liv- Prices. e I am Making a Special Drive on HATS, GLOVES HAD ONE GREAT CONSOLATION, Corrected Weekly Methodist. Recently a member of congress from Missouri came racing down the iron steps which led to the train shed of one of the depots in Washington, just as the train was pulling out. The member was stout and perspiring, and his arms were filled with bundles, for he was a commuter. Everybody got out of his way as he chased the rear car dowu the long platform, some shouting adviie and more or less pleasant comment after him. Some sportively inclined persons offered bets in a loud voice on his chances of catching the train, while others laughed at his grim determination. The member caught the train, being hoisted upon the platform by a trainman, without the loss of a bundle. He shook his fist at the cheering crowd behind him and wenl inside the car with the blissful sense of having "won out." It was only when the conductor came around that he learned that he was on a Chicago express, instead of u local accommodation. However, he accepted the situation gracefully, observing: "There's one comfort. Those Idiots in the station will never know. They think I caught the right train." Harper's Weekly. The Queer Parson Bird. Two splendid male specimens of the poe honey eater were recently acquired by the Zoological society of London, England. Its throat is adorned with small white feathers which, from their resemblance to clerical bands, have gained for it the name "parson bird." Its metallic green plumage, with bronze and purplish reflections, is very beautiful. Its long and rather lender beak Is curved; it has rather large feet, and the length of its tail is considerable. Although somewhat rarely seen in thi3 country alive, this bird is plentiful u both the north and south islands of New Zealand; it is a good songster and mimic, and Its lively temperament renders it a most interesting cage bird. Its food consists of berries, Insects and honey. It has an extensile tongue, the tip of which is forked, and, being covered with fibers, forms a kind of brush, most useful to the parson bird in gathering its food. A FTEK NOON SI It V H I Preaching every alternate Sundnv 0 p. Sunday School 2:00 p. Preaching I Ev EN NO at 7:30 p. jii All services at the Methodist churc I SfcK VICES You arc invited. R.E. GILPIN, Pastor, Baptist. j 11:00 A 51 12:00 A M She Was Good Enough. Fannie Is a little lady of three or thereabouts, and wise beyond her age. She has a brother a year or so older than herself, in whom she fcas Fai-nlc'always shown much solicitude. mother tried to teach her a littla prayer, which concludeo with: "God bless me and make me a good girl;" upon but Fannin had her own Idr-athe question, at"' despite coaxing, thn little girl would conclude her childish me prayer In this way: "(lod bless and male brother a good boy; 1 is a : Evening Seb vices: 7:80 P m Preaching Prayer Meeting Wednesday night at Gathering From Tree of Life. Each day is a branch of the tree of life, laden heavily with frui;. It we lie down lazily beneath ii we may starve; but if we shake the branches some of the fruit will fall for us Longfellow. I5v Wyatt Bros .55 wheat per bu. 1.25 Oats per 100 lbs. .90 Feed barley per 103 lbs .95 Brewers bark.: .21-2 Beef cattle per lb. 2 .071-dressed Pork .051-- 2 Pork alive .2C&.25 Butter per lb. Chickens Potatoes per 100 MADE r l w"ill sell te famous B. C. Utah. CALL, Lawyer, S. F. CHRISTENSEN 2 ST Many Ideas of Earthquakes. While civilized man Is trying to Scientific Optician Nebeker C& Lawyers Suite Commercial Block Logan Utah. 5 and 0 P.O. Phone 70. OF BROTHERHOOD AMERICAN Box 54 YOEMA Bear River Valley Homestead NofW Too Much for the Strong Man. "The strong man refuses to go on for his act." "What's the matter''" "Bom"body poured water Into his It froze and made hollow weights. lh welxhts so heav? he can't lift Ml " Good Way to Do It. "Your si: "us In business," said the able interviewer to Mr. de Billionaire, "makes you a persou of more than ordinary interest to the public, and .vour views on financial subjects are naturally considered of exceptional value. Now, for the benefit ol struggling young men. will you kindly say what is the best aray to become rich?" Mr. de Billionaire leaned back In his Foreman. E. P. Burns Correspondent. 0) 9? 2. 3 1 5 o o So a Carpet Weaver pre-paire- d C(D(D(D The First Scapegoat. The word "scapegoat" originated In 'an ancient Hebrew custom practised .it the feast of the Passover. Placing a young goal ii"n the altar, the priests would pray over it, askhiK that be visited all the sins ol the people upon the Roat. Then, after each member f the tribe had transferred his gull! to the ' victim by layiiiR on his hutids. the ani-- j nial was turned loose In the forests to be devoured by wild beasts. Sunday Magazine. 3flHgH Rail tor obttlMd bi nd TRADC MARKS pra" w -obtain RATE NTS ouairlM, or Lban tdTtnlM tnoroachlj, it ew THAT RAY. nl hlp you lo Mpm, or ftketah for fRCC rpport Rend modftl, photo 10 nn patentability. praotite. 80 R -PASSING NCrcRCNCCS. For tret OoMo Patent on Profltahl write to Bx,k IX f m( nam t.r BO nth Strset, WASHINGTON, P. C. n. b. ORftlsoN, Cashier. President. EXPERIENCED Rock, Brick CBi Cement Block WORKMAN. 'istTii a specialty RICHARD SCHWAB, A ( r P. K. GALPIN. 11 ( GALPIN work guaranteed Tjemonton. 1 tu. HAS. McCLURE. McCLURE, DEALERS IN V Main St., Near Railroad Station, TREMONTON. UTAH. LIVERY FEED aii SALE STABLE Main Street, Tremonton. Good Rigs and Careful Drivers furnished at any time at reasonable rates. Will Buy, S.dl or Exchange Driving or Vour Work Horses. All stock guaranteed as represented W. T. HUDSON, Proprietor. patronage solicited. PEARL SALOON Choice Wines, Lifiior ittd Cigars. Pool and A. B. Manausa Billards Proprietor. Garland, Utah, AUCTION! At Lohr's Store, Commencing at 2 p. m. Saturday, April 6, 1907. One Team of Horses, 1 Spring Wagon. Remnants of all kinds will be sold to the highest bidder, LOHR'S BARGAIN HOUSE, Tremonton. P. 8. If VOU want to save 20per cent on Men's and dies1 shoes, just peep iii and examine theGoods. ophtr I ccnitl-pa- tr tar bowels. Bre'sLix.itive CouchSyrjp no nwves tb bowelt and tuntaina Charon. Charon, the boatman of th" Styx, was thought by many to be ol Irish blood. For Invariably, as he was east-inoff from the hither short, he would call out to his cargo of souls: Now, then, look alive!" This was doubtless as m ar an approach to an Irish bull a: th then itate of civilization permitted of If not, you are missing one of the necessities of modern life. LET US SHOW YOU. op:atia. BEAR RIVER TELEPHONE COMPANY. ' For Sale By PINEULES Tremont Mercantile Co. for tfif KNtam 'Mr. FOR II. OO 30 DAV8' TREATMENT La- Do You Use a Phone? s All cough lyrups containing I chair and meditated. "We are setting up a little symposi urn on the subject." urged the able interviewer, "and we are especially anxious to gel a tew words of advice from you." rned Mr. u Billionaire "Well." r thoughtfully, "I think you may quote me as saying that my own personal experience has taught me that the best way to become rich is to get all the money you can." Judge. have a new loom and am tojdo the best of Weaving, in your work. Auy work Bring left at the Tremont Times office win be promptly attended to. MRS THOMAS LAW'S, Thatcher, Utah. I s " I meets the 2nd and 4th Saturday evening of each month at 0 p. m., in the nal Hall Tremonton. M B. Hart s prod girl grasp the meaning of an earthquake the uncivilized of all ages have long ago solved their doubts. In Mongolia it is the br .things and shippings of a huge frog that causes the mischief; in China a gigantic dragon; In India a world-bea- t ins elephant; In Celebes a hog, and in other countries the scheme is varied by the Introduction of a bull and a tortoise. Earthquakes in Siberia are believed to be due to the frolics of mammoths who live in the center of the earth, while In Van couver island it is the spirit of evil with his marshaled hosts of all the wicked people who have ever lived. EYES TESTED FREE With L.C. Christensen and Sons Brigham City .Utah. Hart ecu:. on time deposits, e County Attorney. Practices in all the Courts, Office: Court House, Ijiighum Utah. P. O. Box 97?. Both Phones. 0 ft o s. x. Interest j;ii in re-th- e Chi-Cit- Deweyville, careful attention. ines, Lidiiofs, Cigars, Etc. An extraordinary instance of the arduous work done at some of the mote branches of post office service is reported from Xewnham, near Baldock, Herts, where Mrs. Clark, at the age of GG, still fulfills the duties of postmistress and "post-thLondon Tribune. woman." says For 20 years she did most of the outside work of the office, while her sister was postmistress, and during the last 18 years she has walked 52,- Out) miles in delivering letters. In the whole 3f years she has traveled about 103,000 miles on foot. With a large p03tbag strapped across her shoulders and wearing a little cloth cap and heavy boots, she trudges regularly on her rounds In spite of rain or storm or snow. Mrs. Clark began her association with the ;:ost office at the age of 14 and lias thus been in the service for 52 years. Her ordinary daily round is 11 miles, and her work often makes it necessary for her to plod along lonely country roads by night. She knows every inch of the district, and she even despises the use of the lanterns which many of her neighbors cany when abroad in the darkness. cago Garden Tayloring Co Suit 3, cheaper than von can buy elsewhere. M. T. RICHARDS Personal Responsibility, k;o.hi. Paid up Capita 110,000. Accounts and Correspondence Solicited, All business with us will receive prompt And GOOD WALKER. England Has Traveled 100,000 Miles on Foot. ORDER SUITS TO A Corinne, Utah. r Postmistress .15 .08 .80 doz. Ejgs per WOMAN j 7:30. i All Services ate held in the Baptist! invited. Church. Yon A. II. SHATTUCK. Pastor i Labouchere Writes of Career. the stormy Henry Labouchere, petrel editor of London Truth, has written a review of its 31 years of existence. The publication carries the motto, "Cultores Veritatis Fraudis and the editor devotes space to Its legal experience in exposing fraud. Of all the actions brought against the paper in that time only four have resulted in damages. Of these one turned upon the precise poe pump, "as to which," sition of a v: Mr. Labouchi .e dryly observes, "I was misled to trusting to the evidence of two beneficed clergymen a lesson which I have always remembered to my profit." Recause of putting it on the wrong side of the street be had to pay J500 in damages and much more in costs. j Mousing Services: Sunday School Preaching MARKETS TREMONTON Church Directory. At Least Onlookers Did Not Know of Congressman's Misfortune. SHOES. C& Cole Banking Company, of Noted Charlotte BroBte'i band writing seemed to have been trao-with a needle, and the pfUnthln of Hry aut was asgrc-sive- . well formed and decidedly pleasing to the eye. Thack eray's writing was maivelously neat and precise, but it was so small that microscopic eyes were needed to read It. Lough-Mowrote a bold, open back baud, which wag the delight of printers. Joaquin Miller writes such a bad hand that he often becomes puzzled over his own work. The handwriting Of Capt. Manyat was so microscopic that when he rested from his labors he was obliged to mark the place where he left off by sticking a pin in the paper. Napoleon's handwriting was worse than illegible. It Is said that his letters from Germany to the Empress Josephine were at first taken for rough maps of the seat of war. Much of Carlyle's temperament may be read in his handwriting. It wrote a patient, crabbed, oddly emThe chirograph? of phasized hand. Walter Scott, Leigh Hunt, Moore and Gray was easy to read and ran smoothIt was not expressive of any ly. The individuality, however. wilting of Dickens was minute, and the author's habit of writing with blue ink upon blue paper, with frequent erasures and interlineations, made his copy a burden to his publishers. Byron's handwriting was a mere scrawl. His additions in his proofs often exceeded in volume the original copy. To one of his poems which contained only 4U0 lines In the original. 1.000 lines were added In the proofs. MAIN STREET, TREMONTON, - the Style Authors. in ' JOHN SOMMER, Manager. Tremonton, Utah- - |