Show fri M 0 M L CL 71 44 01 1313 1311 13 cl copyright ia ht by george geor R H Hp dra doran orano co nm M FUN AND ACTION GALORE hert heres something new in the way of humor a novel hovel of english life by an englishman who has had broadly the humorous humo rou postgraduate post graduate course in american humors humor lives in the united advantage of writes write largely for the states state nd american public P G gre not many englishmen who have succeeded in there adapting their american ideas of humor talents talent to charlie chaplin and stephen leacock two conspicuous examples mr Wod Wo chouse clehouse got hit his education are and began his literary career by conducting a in england funny column he made his debut as a novelist in 1902 and newspaper now has or more books book to his credit in 1909 he came to the united states a dozen his hl address Is now bellport 1 L 1 I and three dethree men and a maid Is clean full of action and chockablock with amusing situations the maid Is Wilhelm lna bennett a nice american girl redheaded red headed and full of pep one of the three thea men Is sam marlowe an amateur british golfer son of an eminent london lawyer another Is eustace hignett sams cousin son of mrs horace hignett thi the world famous writer and lecturer on theosophy the third Is I 1 bream mortimer american his father and wilhelmina Wilhelm lna father are lifelong friends friend and are bent on an a match between their children the story opens open in new york mrs hignett Is I 1 about to begin a lecture tour she has ha eustace with her her constant care Is I 1 to shoo the girls away y from him since she Is I 1 a widow and Win clies the ancestral hignett estate belongs to him bennett has been pestering her to lease a crime in her eyes brearn bream informs mrs hignett that wilhelmina Is waiting for eustace at t the little church round the corner mrs hignett pinches the trousers of her son wilhelmina Wilhelm lna billie for short th hereupon calls the wedding off the author then gets hi his three men and a maid on the liner atlantic bound for england sam runs into billie and falls in love at first sight eutrace mopes in his hi cabin heartbroken heart broken brearn bream Is I 1 tentatively engaged to billie mrs hignett does not know billie Is on board neither does eutrace Eutta ce sam poses as a hero herb and aid wins billie only to lose her eustace falls in love with jane a big game hunter billies traveling companion A pretty lively voyage thail eustace leases to bennett and presently the three men and the maid are all at the hignett home sam has ha rehabilitated himself with billie t by y another display of heroism eustace and jane are engaged bream Is a hanging around then appears mrs hignett with red in her aye ye action and fun galore CHAPTER 1 I 1 through the he curtained windows of the furnished apartment which mrs horace hignett had rented for her stay atay in new york rays of golden sunlight peeped in like the foremost spies of tome some advancing army it was ex ei eight and mrs hignett acknowledged the fact by moving her head bead on the pillow opening her eyes and sitting up in bed she always woke at eight precisely jaa was this mrs hignett THE mrs the world famous writer on theosophy the author of the spreading light what of the M morrow orrow and ill all the rest of that well known series rin fm glad you asked me yes tes she was she had come over to america on a lecturing tour the year 1921 it will be remembered was mas a trying one tor for the inhabitants of the united states every boat that arrived f from rom england brought a fresh swarm of british lecturers to the country novelists poets scientists dentists philosophers and plain ordinary bores some herd instinct wined to affect them all simultaneously mrs hignett had come over with nith the first batch of immigrants for spiritual as her writings were there was a solid streak of business sense in this woman and she meant to get here bers while the getting was good she had not left england without a pang tor for departure had involved sacrifice more than anything else in the world she loved her charming home in the county of giamp hire tor for so many years the seat of the hignett family was as the breath of life to her its shady walks its silver lake its noble elms the old gray stone of its walls these were bound up with her very being she felt that she belonged to I 1 and nd rilles to her unfortunately As a matter of cold legal accuracy it did not she did but hold bold it in trust tot for her son eustace until such time as he should marry and take posses SIOU a of it himself there were times when the thought of eustace marrying and ni bringing a strange woman to chilled mrs hignett to her very ry marrow happily lier firm policy of keeping her son permanently under her freye eye at home and never neer permitting lin to have speech with a female bew low the age of fifty had bad P rented the peril up till now eustace had bad acco his mother aner to america V I 1 was his faint anores lores which she could hear bear in the adjoining room as having bathed and dressed rosed pile went down the hall to where breakfast awaited her she stalled tolerantly she had never delred sired to convert lier her son to her own early rising habits for apart from lot loot a allowing owing him to call his big soul III his own n mother she was wag an indulgent eust eustace ace would pet get up at half balf past nine long nc after she find finished breakfast read id her mall mail and started her duties for the day breakfast in the was on the table bitting ing room beside it was a little pile of letters mrs hignett opened thein anet as she elie ato ate the majority aivre we from in disciples disciple a and d dealt with matters tr of purely theosophical interest there vii 48 art an imitation a from the put butterfly club v asking her to be the guest of moor honor at their weekly dinner there 64 a letter from on her brother maly mallaby ini laby clr mallaby marlowe the el laetit nt london lawyer saying that lilt 1118 sam n ot of whom whoa she had bad never ap p proved would mould be la in new york shortly passing through on his way back to england and hoping that she bhe would see something of him altogether a dull mall mail mrs hignett had just risen from the table when there was wag a sound of voices in the hall and presently the domestic staff a gaunt irish lady of advanced years entered the room maam there was a gentleman mrs IlIg clignett nett was annoyed her mornings were sacred you tell him I 1 was not to be disturbed r 1 I did not I 1 loosed him into the parlor the staff remained for a moment in melancholy silence then resumed he says hes your nephew his names marlowe mrs hignett experienced no diminution of her annoyance she had not seen her nephew sam tor for ten years and would have been willing to extend the period she remembered him as an untidy small boy who once or twice during his school holidays had bad disturbed the cloistral peace of ahl tiles with his beastly presence however blood being thicker than water and all that sort of thing she supposed she would have to give lit him five minutes she went into the sitting room and found there a young man who ho looked more or less like all other young men though perhaps rather fitter than most ile he had a brown end and amiable face marred at the moment by an express expression lon of discomfort somewhat akin to that of a cat in a strange alley hallo aunt Adel adeline lnell he be said awkwardly well samuel said mrs hignett there was a pause mrs alm hignett who was not fond of young men and disliked having her mornings broken into was thinking that he had not improved in the slightest degree since their last meeting and sam who imagined that he had long since grown to mans estate and put off childish things was embarrassed embarras aed eed to discover that its ills aunt still affected him as of old that la Is to say she made him feel as if he had omitted to shave and in addition to that had swallowed some drug which had caused him to swell unpleasantly particularly about the hands and feet jolly morning said sam perse so I 1 imagine I 1 have not yle yet t been out thought id ook look in and see how you were that was very kind of you the morning Is my busy time but yes that was very kind of YOU youl I 1 there there was another pause how do you like Ame america r said ald sami 1 dislike it exceedingly yest yes well of course some people do prohibition and all that personally it affect me I 1 can take I 1 it t or leave it alone the reason I 1 dislike america began mrs mr a Ilig clignett nett bridling 1 I like it myself said san sam ive had bad a wonderful tinie time ever blodys treated me like a rich uncle ive been in detroit you know and they practically gave me the city and asked me if id like ille another to take home in my P pocket never saw anything like it I 1 to might ight have been the missing heir beir I 1 till think americas america the greatest invention on record and what brought you to america sold said mrs 11 agnett unmoved by this rhapsody 1 oh I 1 came over to play golf in a tournament you know surely fit at your age said mr flig nett disapprovingly you could be b better occupied do you spend your whole time playing golf oh no I 1 hunt a bit and shoot a bit and I 1 swim a good lot and I 1 still play football occasionally 1 I wonder your father does not insist on your doing some useful work he Is beginning to harp on the subject rather I 1 suppose I 1 shall take a stab at it sooner or later father says I 1 ought to get married too ile he Is perfectly right 1 I suppose old eustace will be getting hitched up one of these days said sam mrs Illg hignett started violently why do you say that O eh what makes you say that oh well hes a romantic sort of fellow writes poetry and all that there Is no likelihood of eustace marrying he Is of a shy end and retiring temperament and sees few women ile he Is almost a recluse sam was aware of this and had frequently regretted it ile he had bad always been fond of his cousin and in that half amused and rather patronizing way in which men of and sinews are fond of the weaker brethren who run more to pallor and intellect and he had always felt that it if eustace had bad not had to retire to to spend his life with a woman whom from his earliest years lie he always considered the empress of the wash outs much might have bave been made of him both tit fit school and at oxford eustace had been it if not a sport at least a decidedly cheery old bean sam remembered eustace at school breaking gas globes with a slipper in a positively rollicking manner he remembered him at oxford playing up to him manfully at the piano on the occasion when he had done that imitation of frank tinney which had been such a hit at the trinity smoker yes eustace had had the making of a pretty sound egg and it was too bad that he had bad allowed his mother to coop him up down in the country miles away from anywhere eustace Is returning to england on saturday said mrs hignett Hl goett she spoke a little wistfully she had not been parted from her son since he had come down from oxford and she would have liked to keep him with her till the end of her lecturing tour that however was out of the question it was imperative that while she was away he should be at nothing would have induced her to leave the place at the mercy of servants who iho might trample over the flower beds scratch the polished floors ind and forget to cover up the canary at night he sails on the atlantic lints I splendid said sam im stilling sailing on the atlantic myself ill po go down to the office and see it if we cant have a stateroom together rut put where Is he going to live when he gets to england where Is he be going to live why at of course where else but I 1 thought you were letting for the summer mrs hignett stared letting she spoke as one might address a lunatic what tj Al Letting Wind windle leal she sh spoke as a one might address a Lu lunatic put that extraordinary idea into your head 1 I thought father said something about your letting the place to some american nothing of the kind kandl I 1 it seemed to sam that his big aunt spoke somewhat vehemently even snappishly in correcting what was a perfectly natural mistake lie he could not know that the subject 0 of letting for the summer was one which had long since begun to infuriate mrs hignett people had certainly asked to let in III fact people had pestered her there was a rich fat man on an american named flent bennett lett whom she had bad met just before galling at her brothers bro broth thors ra house in london ll la kited down doan to windier for the day mr bennett had fallen in love lov with ith the on place and had begged her to name her own price not content with this he h had pursued her his hl pleadings by means of the wireless telegraph while she was on the ocean and had bad not given up the struggle evea when she reached new york ile he had egged on a friend of his a mr mortimer to continue the persecution in that city no wonder then that sams allu ilon glon to the affair had caused the au authoress aut horesi thores of the spreading light momen momentarily taril to lose her customary calm nothing will induce me ever to let she said with finality fin allty and rose significantly sam perceiving that the audience was at in an end and glad of it also got up well I 1 think ill be going down an and d seeing about that stateroom he said certainly I 1 am a little busy just now preparing notes tor for my next lecture ot of course yes interrupt you I 1 suppose youre having a great time gassing aw away ay I 1 mean well goodby good by I 1 goodby good by I 1 mrs hignett frowning froning for the interview had ruffled her and disturbed that equable frame of mind which Is if so vital to the preparation of lectures on theosophy sat down at the writ writing in 9 table and began to go through the th notes which she had made overnight site she had hardly succeeded la in concentrating herself when the door opened to admit the daughter of erin once more maam there was a gentleman this Is intolerable 1 cried mrs hignell did you tell him that I 1 was as busy 1 I did not nol I 1 loosed him into the th dining room 1 Is I he a reporter from one on of the newspapers he is not he has haf spats and a tall shaped hat ills his name Is dream bream mortimer breant bream mortimer yes maam ile he handed me a bit of a byard but I 1 dropped it being from the dishes mrs hignett strode to the door with a forbidding expression this as she sh had justly remarked was intolerable site she remembered bream mortimer H was the son of the mr mortimer who was the friend of the mr air bennett who wanted this visit could only have hane to do with the subject of dindia and she went into the tha dialog room lit in a state of cold fury determined to squash the mortimer family once and tor for all brearn bream mortimer was tall and thin lie he had small bright eyes and a sharp ly curving nose tie he looked much more like a parrot than most parrots parrot do it gave strangers a momentary shock of surprise when they saw bream mortimer in restaurants eating roust boef beef they had the feeling that lie would have preferred sunflower seeds morning mrs IlIg clignett nett please lease 1 sit down dream bream mortimer sat down 11 Is looked as though he would rather have hopped onto a perch but lie he sat down ile he glanced about the room with gleaming excited ebes mrs Ilig clignett nett I 1 must have a word mith you alone you are having a word with in alone 1 I hardly know how to begin then let me help you it Is quits quite impossible I 1 will never consent bream mortimer started then you have heard I 1 1 I have heard about nothing else since I 1 met mr bennett in london mr bennett talked about nothing elm ele your father talked about nothing else and now cried mrs hignett fiercely 1 you come and try to |