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Show i- Water your horses! What are the hot waveL' saying? Animals suffer as well as humanity. The flyless city Is an lrrldescent dream. What has become of the old fashioned fash-ioned sea serpent? Alaskan Ice Is just now mort popular popu-lar than Alaskan coal. Paris has declared against statues In frock coats. It may prefer pajamas. Some think an electric light bulb throws out more heat In summer than in winter. A Worcester boy killed 1,119,000 flies in a contest, but they will never be missed. What has become of the old-fashioned man who carried a palm-leaf fan In summer? Do not try to Invent a new excuse for going to the ball game. Any old excuse will do. Doctor Wiley says that men who smoke are liable to sunstroke. Do your smoking at night A New York woman who lost $1,000 joked about it. Evidently she didn't have a husband to support Aviators now fly across the English channel before breakfast as an appetizer. appe-tizer. It is a humdrum trip. We are told that a dog in St Louis has learned to smoke. He shows as much intelligence as his teacher. A hog out in Oregon ate its owner's own-er's coat and $700 in real money and seemed to thrive on the rich diet One of the dangers of being married In an aeroplane is that the first falling out is likely to result disastrously. Aviator Atwood Is going to try to fly from New York to Chicago. It is sincerely hoped that he may find the flying good. One way to keep cool In summer is to avoid summer resorts. One is likely to be prostrated when one ponders pon-ders on the bill. A New York boy who walked away from home eight years ago to seek bis fortune has spoiled a good story by walking back. An advertisement reads: "Wanted A girl to paste labels on." No self-respecting self-respecting girl would care to have labels pasted on her. A physician advises us to eat onions and become healthy. We know from personal experience that garlic Is productive of great strength. A man in New Jersey killed bis Bweetheart with an "unloaded" pistol. Bo history, unmindful of the tragedy of it, keeps on repeating itself. We have congealed winter In the form of ice to temper the summer; now why not bottle up the heat and release it on a cold day next winter? A bullfrog may be a champion fly killer, but he is not whatjnight be called an ideal pet, especially if there are nervous women around the house A committee of Chicago teachers has decided that stenographers should be taught enough of English to enable en-able them to correct the boss's blunders. A French scientist has devised an Instrument to forecast thunder storms but our amateur weather prophets cling to the old, reliable rheumatism. One inan at least has felt the oppression op-pression of great wealth the employe em-ploye of the San Francisco mint who was buried under $9,000,000 in gold coins An Omaha debating society has decided de-cided that a horse is more desirable than an automobile. Notwithstanding this we presume people will still go on mortgaging their homes for the latter. A Wisconsin Judge has ruled that a man must provide his wife with false teeth If she wants them. This, however, how-ever, is interesting only to the women who want them. An Ohio man boasts that he can rock the cradle with one hand and button his wife's dress with the other We presume also that the gentleman has learned to speak distinctly with a mouth full of pins. |