3 THE ZEPHYR/JUNEJULY 2006 So when I receive e-mails advocating we all become vegetarians to retard global — warming, I can’t help but laugh at the futility of living in such a fantasy. Vegetarians may indeed be less consumptive in terms of energy efficiency quotas, but 6.5 billion vegetarians < < is still a melt-down waiting to happen. Factor in human population projections for 2050, and you're looking at a hell of a lot of vegetarians sitting around the video game eating Soylent Green. Oh boy, what a life! Chamber of Commerce flacks, and the Greater Home Builders of the Universe. We’ve listened to those characters, and their shtick has led us into the mess we’re in now. As my Mn, Mn, Ln, hi, Mi, Mi, Mr, Mr, Ml, Mi, Me, Mn, Ml, Mi, Mn, Lr, The answer is so simple it’s impossible to see, at least if your head is stuck beneath the sand like an ostrich. And that answer is to begin reducing our numbers. If the Pope doesn’t like it, tell him to stuff it where the incense doesn’t shine. Ditto for mullahs, social engineers, ~ old Uncle Elmo used to say: /f your strategy aint working, geta new one. If the words birth control gives you a problem, we can refer to the road back to sanity as “family planning.” Whatever. The bottom line is that we either reduce our population or end up living like termites, relying on increasingly restrictive top-down laws to keep us marching ahead into the sizzling brilliance of growth&progress. Green energy notwithstanding. The answer is to begin shrinking our numbers. If the Pope doesn't like it, tell him to shove it where the incense doesn't shine. Ditto for mullahs, social engineers, Chambers of Commerce flacks and the Greater Home Builders of the Universe. This just in: “Every American taxpayer would get a $100 rebate check to offset the pain of higher pump prices for gasoline, under an amendment Senate Republicans hope to bring to a vote Thursday.” [CNN, April 26, 2006] We're talking mass insanity here, collective myopia, group-think, and obsessive compulsive neurosis on a scale unseen outside Disney World during a 2-for-1 Family Discount Weekend. These are desperate times, friends and neighbors, and when the bell tolls it won’t be anything like the Norman Rockwell America we’ve been conned into believing is the Shining City on the Hill. Alas, so many words, so little ink. Let’s leave it like this: Smart people know that endless (bulk) growth is akin to eating bacon at every meal. Sooner or later you end up on the | : hy fey hy ty te ty ty ty he ty hy hy TSAKURSHOVI traditionalstyle, as well as baskets, ceremonial textiles, jewelry, potteryand more. We also have complete visitor information (including connections for knowledgeable and articulate guides) to make your visit to Hopi a memorable and enjoyable one. So come visit Tsakurshovi, the shop with the unpronouncable name. We're located 1 1/2 miles east of the Hopi Cultural Center at MP 381 on Highway 264 in the heart of the Hopi Rez. TSAKURSHOVI (The home of the "Don't Worry-Be Hopi" T-shirt) PO box 234, Second Mesa, AZ 86043 1-928-734-2478 operating table. And when you do, all the bitching in the world is just hot air. You ate the cheap energy is like demanding cheap heroin: Cold turkey is always just a shot away. And cold turkey sucks. Bad. If it’s a nice planet you want, brimming with fish, clear skies, healthy forests, elbow x ne The Solutions x invite you to respect, rethink, reduce, reuse, - and recycle, right here in Moab! Get your free Moab area, ~. Salut! fact-filled recycling directory at POINTBLANK no charge by calling 259.0910 or by email moab_solutions @ hotmail.com SUBMISSIONS Submissions to The Zephyr may be on any topic even remotely relevant to For solutions info & projects, its readers. They must be between 500 and 1000 words. Authors of essays printed in this publication receive a five year subscription and our gratitude. | Seoe see (© 435.260.8011 (H) 435.259.2339 kelly@moabproperties.com = I like to - GIT GOIN' = the beach foo. Be Re FA i hed incredi a 150 EAST CENTER hr, A unique selection of traditional Hopi arts, crafts and cultural items including over 150 Katsina dolls done in the bacon, you shot the dope, you spent your savings — karma — simple as that. Demanding room, and a smattering of civilization, simply reduce the human birth rate. It doesn’t have to bea train wreck; take it slow, ease into it. Offer incentives. Muzzle the Pope. Try it, you'll like it. ve : MOAB, UT 84532 ST. 435.259.5693 FAX: 259.5930 GO-GETTERS that a usually sual GET before we www.moabproperties.com ‘GO! A WE KNOW EVERYBODY IN MOAB. THAT'S WHY WE MAKE SUCH A GOOD TEAM! Mini e,0TC) 08 pote ARE READY TO GET GOING FOR YOU. ANTHONY MUON (CQ) 435.260.2374 anthony@moabproperties.com