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Show WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2000 THE SUN 5 Humor Swimming in a pool of Brought By '31 Clintons lies to you by www.digitalDEUCE.com - Casino and Sportsbook for the DIGITAL Generation! Scott Allen Reporter dyssentaryla hotmail com According to Bill Clinton, Amenca has the best economy it has ever had. Its also supposed to be a great time to be an entrepreneur. Since I know that Slick Willy would never lie to the Amencan people, I decided to start my own business. Anyone who lives in St. George knows that pools are a vital part of our ecosystem. Pools are how a St. George man (which scientists refer to as sweatus alotus) escapes the deadly Dixie Heat. I decided to cash in on Man's misfortune. I would become a pool man. To prepare myself for this illustrious occupation, I watched Pauly Shores In The Army Now. In the movie, Shore saves his war buddies from the Iraqis because his brother was a pool man. I never knew that cleaning pools could save so many lives. I acquired all the needed equipment: a skimmer, a vacuum, and enough chlonne to make the entire population of St. George pass out. After a day of smelling that stuff I think the lizards were starting to talk to me. Only one thing was left to start my career the latest in music technology. Oh, and some pools to clean. Willy made it sound like there were thousands of pool owners m need of my expertise. That couldnt be farther from the truth. Apparently, there are other people m town who have something called experience at cleaning pools. The only accounts I was able to get were the rejects from other pool services. I swear that one of them was just an open septic tank with a slide. I soon realized that cleaning pools was not as heroic as Shore made it out to be. The only thing I saved from one of my pools was a dead rat, and believe me, saving a dead rat isnt as rewarding as some might think. In the end, my small business flopped, but its not my fault. Im sure its because of unfair business practices by the other pool companies. A federal judge should order them to be broken up into separate entities. Im not blaming El Presidente for my misfortune. Because of him, I can get money at the welfare office. God Bless America! hey, funny guy, send us your jokes. Coming soon ... The Joke Forum on sun.dixie.edu The other day I found myself in a peculiar situation. I was on the floor wrestling my brother for the remote control and losing (my apartment didn't have cable and I was going to be darned if I spent precious T.V. time watching Sisquo sing his "Thong song). The fact that I am now nineteen and in my second year of college didn't seem to matter, nor the fact that we were at a very respectable family gathering. The fact was, I was fighting a losing battle against a sibling four years my junior who, overnight grew biceps and a foot in heighth. I guess I had taken for granted that I could lord over him for another couple of years at least, being so grown up and mature and all. The point is, I realized that its never to late to be immature. Growing up definitely does not mean that we forget what its like to be kid. We still have disappointments, fears, anxieties, and hopes, but sometimes we mask it behind this "mature college student" exterior that makes us seem to be above all that "nonsense". I thought graduating from high school put childish mumbo-jumblike fightfor the control behind me. remote ing Apparently not. I thought college was this great Utopian society that discussed Philosophy and Politics over organic plates of vegetables weanng slacks and nice jackets (the college students, not the vegetables). That was o until I found myself arguing over the gender of Tweety Bird and blowing all my money on popcorn and junior mints. Maturity didn't prevent my apartment from watching from sleeping "Aladdin", or my room-mat- e with her Eeyore pillow, or me from running through the sprinklers. When my friends got married, maturity didn't prevent them from turning the reception into a full out water war. The point is that being adults doesn't make us wise and responsible, experience does that. Until then, there is nothing wrong with being childish sometimes; it feels really good to let go of your age. The cool part about college and growis that you get to learn cool words up ing like "bifncation", which is the ability to go outside yourself and observe the way you're So even while I acting and communicating was fighting with my brother, I was thinking, "Rachael, this is stupid- - you know you're better than this '' I could make amends faster that if I had said something I would have regretred later and stomped off to my room (basically how I USED to handle it) The moral of the story- - even while you're learning to be a functioning responsible adult- - don't forget that maturity doesn't mean stuffiness, and you still have the ability to be childish and love it , Evan's Hairstyling College IS Tans for Free Hair Contitioning Treatment Any indav.Tuedsav.orWednesdav Expires 628-901- 3 93000 |