Show o nome nits Hits and Happenings o Miss fiss May Phelps is visiting friends il in New York City Married life evid evidently agrees agrees agree with Professor Gordon Ask Professor White who curled culled his his' hair last Monday night l k 1 Certain young ladies warm their noonday noonday noonday noon noon- day meal by eating it on the radiator y Air Mr 11 Sprague prague has a trying time coaxing those curly locks of 11 his s to lay down i J James ames Clinton who has been laid up with the grippe for two t weeks is out again Even Pro Professor Stew Professor art turns turn to Mr Ridges to discuss affections in They do sav say Mr Christensen has lost his Soule all on account of a room room A privileged character in a street car A stove because it smokes whenever it iti i wants to Several pupils spend their leisure moments moments moments mo mo- ments visiting the training class much to the dismay of the young teachers Think of the many cats that have met their doom in that laboratory Some one might donate land for a feline burying- burying ground I It is reported that Professor Augsburg is contemplating a long life-long voyage on the sea of matrimony The CHRONICLE wishes him success r 7 Professor Profess r Matthews thinks his German Class would not starve if turned loose in j J J Germany though they would soon b be be beon on ona a wild hunt for an interpreter Last week Professor White was busily engaged in making analyses for prom prominent prominent i- i nent firms in this city of butter oleomargarine oleomargarine gai garine ine and face powder Next Either Seth Thomas or C. C Miller violated violated violated vio vio- the the Two is company three is a crowd rule in the bookkeeping last Monday Which is the guilty party The Delta Phi Society will give another another another an an- other ball at the end of the present term Professor Olsen's full band will vill furnish the music for the occasion without fail Some of the students of political economy economy economy my are becoming enthusiastic preachers for political reform They must be sincere sincere sincere sin sin- cere but five of them are old enough to hold office We have borrowed from the Ariel the heading Home Hits and Happenings and with an apology to that paper we substitute it in this his issue for our old Local Department Several members of the Psychology v Class are aie unable unable to discuss affections with composure composure There is is' isone one young lady however who ho claims to have overcome her affection this year r The class in n elocution were h treated with a rehearsal of Virginias Virginius Jast last t Thursday with Mr Abbott a as Virginius Mr Bailey as Claudius and Miss Miner as Virginia Mr Abbott bott was envied envied envied en en- vied by all the students present 1 Some magazines in the the- library have mysteriously disappeared of late It may seem strange that there are some thieves s in this this school school but nevertheless it is true and it may be well to remind them that if f they are found out immediate expulsion from school will be the result I t L Hints lints on on oil how to stand in with the members of the faculty KINGSBURY KINGSBURy-Be KINGSBURy Be a gentleman STEWART STEWART Advance Advance an opinion now and then ABER Speak ABER-Speak Speak only when spoken n to USe MONTGOMERY Use good English and be neat WRIGHT Toe WRIGHT Toe th the mark and never never answer back KERR KERR Encourage Encourage the mathematical society MARSHALL MARSHALL-If If at first you dont don't succeed try try again MATHEWS MATHEws MATHEws-De Be prompt and leave ponies outside the door ALLEN ALLEN Works Works by contraries No established establish establish- ed rule WHITING Ask WHITING Ask him to deliver a lecture WHITE If If If you are a a lady just smile If not nt dont don't smile at the ladies who do smile The sound of a loud concussion in the Analytical Laboratory last Monday afternoon afternoon afternoon after after- noon attracted the attention of one of THE CHRONICLE staff Thinking perhaps it was only one of Professor sor Whites White's jokes that had fallen to the floor floor he carelessly sauntered into the room but the sight that met his eye was far different from what he expected The floor was strewn with Mr Danvers' Danvers chemical facts three and fo four r deep mixed with bits of glass small fragments of a alady's alady's ladys lady's apron apron choice sections of language and splinters of wood kindling-wood while the walls and ceiling were frescoed in original original original nal designs indicating that they had been executed in great haste A solitary shoe standing near the radiator gave rise to the suspicion that this was all that re remained of poor John Danvers But on looking out into the next room Mr Hills was to tobe tobe tobe be seen stumbling along with one eye closed as if visiting the Physical Culture e Class and leading Mr Danvers who with both eyes shut was calling for water like a thirsty traveler in a desert Following Following Fol Fol- lowing close behind these came Miss Anderson Anderson Anderson An An- derson and Mr Ellerbeck The water was turned on and all indulged freely The cause of all this commotion was the I I explosion of some acid and al alcohol alcohol alcohol al- al cohol being used in the manufacture of ether Mr Danvers' Danvers injuries were rather rather the most severe Miss Anderson suffered suffered suffered suf suf- from having her face and neck J burned while Hill and Ellerbeck got off comparatively easy easy If anyone anyone ti wants points on the manufacture of ether there is a red-eyed red young man down in inthe inthe inthe the la laboratory oratory who can tell a great deal J Jabout about it j j |