Show kathleen norris says grin and bear it bell syndicate features feature r h 4 those babies of yours are better og off with a neglectful neglect lul yet friendly and guy gay mother and their grandmothers daily visits than they would be be in in an institution by KATHLEEN NORRIS HERE are times when THERE acure there is no immediate cure for an intolerable situation times when we simply have to grin and bear it there is no use arguing about justice and reason they have nothing to do with it things are all wrong and they are g going 0 ing to stay wrong and we have to wait for the long months or years to bring about the change such a case seems to be that of a lieutenant who writes me from florida his wile wife and two babies live in worcester mass they cant go to him for or it is impossible to find living quarters where he is and he gets home to visit only now and then my wife is extremely pretty says his letter she Is 10 years younger than I 1 which means she is 24 our children are a girl of 5 and a boy of 4 betty is gay and friendly she loves a good time and well in a word she is unfaithful to me she goes about with a fast crowd stays away nights neglects the children runs into debt and is altogether unsatisfactory if I 1 reproach her for an untidy home crying children who always have colds in their heads unpaid bills and affairs with other men she only laughs she deny anything desperately when I 1 was last at home I 1 accused her of having lovers and she answered boldly im not asking you any questions and while youre away I 1 dont think that what I 1 do is any of your busin business essIl any of my business what my wife doest does going overseas of course concludes the letter this sort of action on her part and this attitude have somewhat destroyed my old love for her but what I 1 want your advice about is what can I 1 do my mother Is dead I 1 have no sister nursery homes tor for babies of ef those ages are too costly and although bettys mother is uv liv I 1 ing and goes in daily to do what a she he can for the children she Is not cot strong enough to assume full care of them em I 1 am shortly to be sent overseas it is unthinkable to me that I 1 mu must a t tolerate the ignominy and d discomfort 1 of this state of affairs can you recommend to me any solety society c that cares fr for cases like this art and d might help me find a place w where here I 1 could put my babies I 1 no don I 1 dont and it if I 1 did I 1 recommend it this is a I 1 I 1 miserable problem for you and you chave have my heartiest sympathy to have to go away to the battlefront battle under these circumstances is it a real martyrdom and the bitter thoughts that are seething within you will do nothing to strengthen your arm or quiet your nerves when the hour of I 1 I 1 crisis comes but at the same time those babies of f yours are a re better off with the neglectful yet gay and friendly mother and with the daily visits of the grandmother than they would be in any institution or under any care you could buy for or them now AU all the kindly older women who used to care for or little charges in comfortable homes are out in the world now driving rivets nursing wounded packing overseas food and clothing it would be much wiser for you she loves a good time UNDUTIFUL MOTHER A lieutenant soon to be sent overseas vers aas asks miss aliss norris where he can find a nursery for his two children aged jour four and five their mother is not dead nor ev evaski Aiki she h is 1 1 just list too busy enjoying it herself terse 11 t to 0 be bothered much with her babies what care they do receive comes from their maternal grandmother this young army officer feels that he he must take his children from their mother and put them in i n a home so that he will be b e assured that they will be cared for while he is away miss aliss norris advises him to make the best of a bad situation and to leave the children with their mother this is best for everyone miss aliss norris advises VIM even a neglectful negle mother is better than an institution toil she says when the tv war ar is is over this young woman may have matured considerably she may be quite happy to settle down to the responsibilities of married life I 1 to endure what you cant at the moment cure write betty as pa pleasantly L a s and affectionately as you can trust her to grow up to improve to become a better mother praise her to her mother and pi praise raise her mother to her it 11 as your letter indicates your last talk with her was somewhat in the nature ot of an angry scene ignore it write her as if it had not occurred you will find that she has cooled down too and will be glad to resume relationship on the old basis when you are away send her a present now and then it if you can in other words make the best of a bad situation and wait until the war ends to come to another understanding no code of decency sheer decency should have kept betty from these excesses ot of course sheer decency on the part of certain national leaders would have prevented this war and you would be at home still in your normal occupation cu able to protect your wife and children but where code and honor dont exist or where a weak easily in fluen ced wom woman a n Is left too much to her own dev devices ices wretched crises like these do occur and they have to be faced aced like the abnormal lems they are it might be that in anger betty exaggerated her escapades just to provoke you it might be that when you come home in a year or two you will find a different sort of wife dont attempt to find any solution now leave it to time it Is hard to reach the understanding ot of a girl like this one reminds her of duty character code fineness moral law she never heard the words her only law is that of pleasure and she had bad any guidance even to show her what pleasure Is safe and what is dangerous prayer and grace would save her nobody hits has ever taught her what grace Is or how to pray her whole argument and creed and belief and law are covered by the one expressive phrase so what |