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Show Thursday, April 15, 1948 THE TIMES- - NEWS, NEPIII, UTAH PAGE TWO WEEKLY NEWS ANALYSIS Ruminating on Ruminants, Or Cogitating About Cows Lewis Battles Law; Taft-Hartl- ey v Henry Wallace, whose third party movement was coming more and more to follow the standard Communist party line, had reached the status of a complete pariah as far as President Truman was concerned. In his St Patrick's day address in New York the' President had rejected angrily any notion of accepting Wallace's support in his campaign, even if it cost him the election. Then, during the course of remarks made at a dinner meeting of in Washington, Mr. Truman turned on still more On War Nerves He issued an acidulous, thinly veiled suggestion that Wallace take his third party movement to Russia where Mr. Truman obviously thinks it belongs. "I was going to tell you that the Greeks had a Henry Wallace," the President said to his listeners. "I was going to tell you that the Greeks had a statesman, an orator, a demagogue. . . . They had the greatest demagogue of all times, Alcibiades.' (Alcibiades was a famous Athenian who, after committing certain indiscretions, was forced to flee Athens. He went to Sparta and there betrayed secrets of his countrymen which were instrumental in bringing about the fall of ' Athens.) Mr. Truman continued: "If imitators of that ancient Greek conqueror want to see . . . liberties subverted, I suggest that they go not to the Rocky mountains that's fine country out there. He ought to go to the country he loves so well and help them against his own country if that's the way he feels." Baruch Sees 'Total Mobilization'; Eisenhower Repeats His Refusal BeleaMd WNTJ fc&r Features (EDITOR'S NOTE i Wlwa plnleaa an prKd In thta mlnmu, ther an thoM af We tent Nwspapr Unioa's aewi an&l,u and mot nrrraaaiilj of tin newspaper.) By BAUKIIACE 'Greatest Killer' LABOR: Letcis Fight The subject of cows recently has been Netr Analyst and Commentator WASHINGTON, called to my attention. r f-; John L. Lewis and the Taft-Hain a mortal I t struggle. His United Mine Workers were still out of the pits in a "toI'uo- I IH t i M tary" objection to the companies' alleged refusal to provide them with a pension plan. Most of the 400,000 miners were out fishing. Lewis himself was out gunning ' i y for the law, enactment of which was largely the result of his activities in the first place. After the miners had gone out, President Truman, acting under the ... j. f.zsZ m law, had appointed a Glenn L. Martin, pioneer airboard to investigate the craft builder, revealed that the difficulties. But when the board U. S. has developed an offensive asked John L. Lewis to testify, he weapon superior to the atomio refused. bomb. He called it a "radioactive Then the board Issued a subpoena cloud the greatest killer of hurequesting that he appear. Again man beings ever devised." Martin Lewis refused, stating that the board said also, "I'd be in favor of using had no right to demand his presence It before I'd become a slave to before it. another nation." He said he based his disinclination to testify on the facts that: LUCIUS CLOBB Neither he nor the UMW had 1done anything covered by the law, thereby nullifying the President's invocation of the ' "Pharonie," said Lucius Clobb to law, and his helpmate as he arranged a quizTwo of the three board mem- wrinkle in his brow, "d'you 2 bers were "biased and preju- zical think we're thunderin' toward annot serve." should diced and in honor other war?" "Soon as you open your mouth I Finally, minutes' before the deadline, the burly, figure we're in for at least a skirchief appeared. mish," retorted Pharonie. "If you It was obvious, of course, that the spent half as much time cultivatin' UMW chief was out to break the my peace of mind as you do your enactment. Apparentsoybeans we wouldn't have near the ly he was determined to drag the arguments we do." She impaled the pension dispute all the way through elder statesman of Pawhooley counthe courts preferably as high as the ty on a spearlike glance. "Dang it, Pharonie, why do you. supreme court to get a final verdict miliAnd any way it turned out, the have to drag your rockin' chair tarism into everything I set out to process would react for the miners' do a little talkin' on? One of the immediate benefit. While the courts would be mulling over the matter reasons you married me in the first the date for the annual renewal of place was to get security. Now you the mine workers' contract in June got security but you still want to would be approaching. The longer fight." The light of creative achievement the present dispute remained unsetbriskly in Lucius Clobb's gleamed coal the worse nation's the tled, eye. thus would situation grow, putting "Say, by gosh, that there give me Lewis in a good bargaining position to extract a favorable contract for a right smart idea for an aphorism. Nothing I ftke'better than an aphornext year. ism. What d'you think of this Pharonie: Between 1941 and 1945 we MOBILIZE: were united with Russia in the bonds of holy warlock, but now the honeyControls? moon's over, the lock is busted and Bernard M. Baruch approves of there ain't nothin' left of the origselective service and universal mili- inal idea except war." "Mister Clobb, you can put that tary training for the present quasi-crisibut he does not think that is out in the corn crib with the rest enough to meet all the implications of your aphorisms," commented the the world situation holds. critical Pharonie. "Mebbe so," sighed the eW.tr The financier and presidential adviser called also for an "economic statesman, "but it worries me not mobilization plan" and said that knowin' how to feel about this here America's failure to muster all its world situation. I'm gettin' on resources now for peace would leave toward 69, so I could afford to think "no alternative but to mobilize for that in order to have peace and a secure foreign policy we first got t war" in the future. Baruch told the senate armed serv- rig up a strong backbone at home. ices committee that he was afraid And a strong backbone right now that if the nation suddenly and with- means a strong army and navy and out preparation were called upon to air force." mobilize and prepare for a big war, REPEAT: such forces of domestic inflation would be set in motion as could blow the country wide open and Ike's 'AV d Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower, leave it defenseless. boy of both political parties, He suggested the appointment of someone to "watch the impact upon said it once more: He would not be our economy of the partial mobiliza- a presidential candidate on anytion we are entering upon and to body's ticket. There had been a lull following maintain a constant inventory, balhis refusal of Republiancing all our growing commitments can unequivocal and then the overtures, our resources." against Sentiment was resurIt had not been a hidden threat, rected in the hearts of no fewer but Baruch's statement had focused than four widely divergent groups. attention on the possible danger that Probably the most unique apa sudden spate of military spending proach was being made by Torrey could bring about ruinous inflation. Stearns, a New York public relaAs a result, talk of reviving the tions man, who harbors the opinion defunct OPA was being heard in that Eisenhower is a Republican. Baruch's" warning He conceived a "People for EisenWashington. touched off informal discussions in hower" movement. The method is a eongress about the possibility of re- nationwide solicitation of voting controls, rationing citizens to send in postcards bearviving wage-pricand other curbs on the domestic ing this igned testimony: economy. "I want to vote for General EisenThis, of course, had been an Inhower for president in November. I tegral part of President Truman's am a citizen of voting age." famous 10 point program against in"On June 21." Stearns announced, flation which ha proposed last year, "all of the statements will be prebut most congressmen virtually hid sented to the Republican national gagged at the thought of reimposing convention as indisputable evidence price and wage controls, and the that the people of the United States President was accused of trying to demand the nomination of Dwight set up something like a "police D Eisenhower for president." slate." But Eisenhower was having none Now, however, congressmen were of it Rpeiking through statement not so sure. They were beginning by MaJ Gen Floyd L. Parks, army to wonder if the military spending press chief, he indicated that "his necessary to contain Russia might no polities statement of some weeks not have to be buttressed by conago" should "apply to all parties and trols at home. groups of voters." rt the early days, a cow was supposed to be an animal word meaning rumiof the bovine species. Now it is just a three-lette- r word which also sometimes means a nant. There is another three-lette- r ruminant of which I will speak later. Before I knew that a cow was When applied to cows Instead of either a member of the bovine specapitalists, the cold has the oppocies or a ruminant, I thought it was site effect on longevity. Accordsomething fearful ing to a recent article in Food In? w h 1 c h was eu- publicadustries, a McGraw-Hi- ll ad- phemistically the aave produced, dressed as "Bos- - tion,meansRussians i of a chilling process apby sie, ana wmcn u cows plied from early was torn) wouia live with a high output to I which not hurt me. 15 years, yield up to 100,000 liters took the former of milk and give birth to 15 calves. statement as cortoe The process is simple. One serect, but had grave doubts about the lects a calf from selected parents. latter. Later I was It is put in an unheated barn where the temperature is kept at five detaught that spelled, not bossle. grees fahrenheit. The barns, I take 228 but cow, and still it, are much like the ordinary Soviet later I was chased by one. This citizen's dwelling except that there caused additional doubt concerning is plenty of bedding and the calves free information furnished by one's elders. Then came the crossword puzzles. I saw that "three, horizontal" was a three-lette- r word meaning ruminant. J n f " Having heard of the word "ruminate" by that time, and thinking that, thinking or, if you will, rumif t nating, was a fairly common practice among the genus homo, I wrote down "man." Later when I met a number of congressmen I was convinced of my error. Now I know that neither definiI tion is entirely wrong. A cow ruminates when It chews Us cud (having chewed it before), and a man ruminates when he chews an Idea upon which he has chewed I f before. In some ways however, cows and This is Pat Walker of Woodland, men differ. In fact, cows even differ Calif., queen of the Poly Royal in some respects from women, alcelebration at California State though all three creatures man, Polytechnic college. With her, to woman and cow are mammals, the do a spot of ruminating, is one highest form of vertebrate, those of the college's better beef sires. which (the authorities inform me) nurse their young with milk. Just y Domino Prince 63rd. His mother was one of the aristocratic rumihow man gets into this category s nants who even now chews her a little beyond me, but that is what cud in pride over the elegance of the scientist says, and 1 am willing her son. to strain my credulity a little. After all, I suppose that my father, who are provided with earmuffs. A citipaid for the milk which I drank zen of the U.S.S.R. doesn't need the when I got so I could take it out of earmuffs because he is " ala glass, nourished me in a manner lowed to listen to what the only governat it let will We . of go speaking. ment thinks is good for him, and that, although it seems to me that a if his ears freeze it's all right with man assumes a little of what might the censor. be criticized as the gland manner The results of the chilling process of speaking when he tries to get more than a grade B rating as a on calves appear remarkable, but not for a moment would I doubt the mammal. veracity of the writer despite my But to return to the differences early experience with erroneous inbetween cows on the one hand, and formation concerning cows. men and women on the other (and The other type of ruminant upon I think no one will contradict ' me which these ruminations are based when I say there ARE differences! : is illustrated in these columns. One thing a cow cannot do that a man can, is blow its own horn. And as we know from listening to the The Old Order soap operas, it is easier to make a How It Passeth woman slip than to make a cowslip. After the grey winter days New Now what has a cow got that Hampshire avenue almost sparkles these spring mornings. you and I haven't? Answer: CatThe elm buds are spreading and tle are closely related to the bufthe shadows of trunk and limb make falo, the bison and the yak. 1 defy sharp patterns on the wide expanse any genealogist to produce a bison, a buffalo and a yak In one human of the huge Belmont house. This house now is occupied by the Eastfamily tree. On the other hand, ern Star no family ever could have in the branches of a cow's family done more than rattle about in that tree, there are no monkeys. I suppose there In some ways the cow has superior palatial mansion. will be few such palaces built in I seen abilities. For instance, have more one after ana cow roll over without spilling a Washington any other, they are' being torn down. drop of milk, which is more than The Leiter house on Dupont Circle any m:in irrying a similar amount is gone and a family hotel is rising of l.'ir' fluid, could do. in its place. Many other mansions, the cow seems to too big for embassies even, served Pliilolugically, have somewhat of an edge on man, as boarding houses for war workers at least for those who believe In the and now they are empty and for capitalistic system. The Latin word sale. for cattle (as of course you know One huge house which I pass ocif you hist looked it up as I did) ts casionally is opened when the third "pecus." And the word pecuniary generation, which still retaina some Is derived from that, and the words of the original fortune, comes to cattle, chattel and capital are to Washington for a wedding or a bufto is cow itself each other what party. After that the bouse is sealed falo, bison and yak. up again, the burglar alarms are ATI present-dabreeds of cattle, 1 attached and the old residence goes am authoritatively informed, are back to dreaming of the past. descended from the twe types, large A part of this section W Washand small, known in prehistoric is being ington Dupont Circle rein ia timrs Europe. However, while the sealed off for year cent rime (and now we are getting roadbuilders burrew under the down to what started me ruminatpark m make an underpass gray ing), something new has been adfor trolley cars and automobiles. ded. We now have developed what This will be the final olow mf mi'Sht be laughingly called "hot to Connecticut avenue, cows" and "cold cows." which has yielded gradually svrr the years sine I first knew It, to The "hot" are the Brahmas which the vulgarian invasion. have been insinuated into our own American strains to inure them to A block below Dupont Circle that our southern latitudes and for other once was gay with the chatter of purposes. As you know, Brahma nursemaids and children of the cattle are known by their humps. A foreign stood the British braw Brahma hat a large hump Just embassy. diplomats On the site today is a abaft the shoulders, a d the others filling station. of lesser rank have smaller humps getting down to something not much Americans have eaten bananas larger than a fever blister. since the 19th century but still many The "cold" cow Is quite a differmisconceptions concerning them es America Informaent thing. As might be expected, it 1st, says Mid-iltion. Not, we hope, that they should comes from Russia where they inbe kept in the refrigerator. vented the cold war, the cold shoulder and the common or Siberian cold, which is used to correct false ol all divorces art neologies, longevity and monopolis- granted to women. Is thnt beniM' of malt chivalry or th lack of it tic capitalism. Tn '(y!j calf-hoo- d, i JfUF y Two-third- TO WALLACE: Veiled Hint ley law were locked ''" ' i, Taft-Hartle- -- Taft-Hartle- y fact-findin- g Taft-Hartle- y bushy-eyebrowe- d Greek-America- heat fair-haire- e 1 J" ; Lv.t.. ,. '. 4 A Few people can appear more human than this quizzical simian as he bestows a suspicious glare on photographer Arthur Sasse and obviously is thinking he wants his picture taken about as much as he wants a hole in the bead. Sasse, staunchly unafraid In bis belief that no animal would attack a photographer, has been taking pictures at New York's Bronx too for 28 years. HOMEBODY: Aro Meeting With the arrival of spring and th yearly rebirth of hope eternal, a second-hanrumor suddenly was revived across the Atlantic. It had to do with the rebuilding of the relastripped gears of East-Wetions. The rumor, which was being circulated widely in Europe, said that President Truman was planning a trip to the continent for a Big Three conference with Attlee and Stalin. Another version, as given currency by newspapers in Turkey, reported that the President might go to Europe sometime in April and possibly visit Turkey and Greece. All this was good for a flurry of excitement, but in the end it turned out to be nothing more than a clutching at straws. Mr. Truman, the White House announced, had no plant for leaving the country, and there was no prospect of a Big Three meeting. d SPIES: In Germany Conditions were getting back to the cloak and dagger state. With a dramatic flare, radio Moscow charged that Russia had uncovered an American-directespy ring of former German army officers operating out of western Germany, Austria and Sweden to learn Soviet tone secrets. Leader of the group functioning in the Soviet (one bad been captured and had confessed, Moscow reported. The broadcast claimed, in part: "He eoBfessed he was member of aa illegal Fascist organization existing In the western occupation zone of Germany, consisting of officers of the former German army who are being used by the American intelligence service for espionage fa the Soviet tone." d PIPELINE: New Minor Planet 'Swims Into Ken' Junked astronomers have revealed the discovery of a bundle from heaven a strange new minor planet which moves around the sun at high S. speed. The planetoid is only about two miles In diameter. Although there are about 1.600 of these miner chunks of matter, all circling around the earth like th rost of them travel orbits far larger than that of tlie earth and do not come anywhere neur it It Is the fact that the newly discovered planet cuts through the earth's orbit that makes it unusual. Only four other minor planets have been found which do this, and they have since been lost to astronomers' telesc-.pe- in s. Sallies in Our Alley The Naked City: Her name was kid A Ann Parrish . . . Came here from the stix two years ago . . . With a flaming yen to be an actress . . . She had no . . No nothin . . . "contacts" Just ambitioa . . . Lived in a furIn the 100s . . . nished room Went to a dramatic school . . . Her story is similar to hundreds you hear around Broadway . . . These kids live in smelly hall bedrooms . . . When they could be home with the family in comparative luxury . . . Like other kids her age she loved candy bars . . . Pastries and ice cream sodas . . . Then she to thought she was getting too plump So she went get a role in a flop on one of those diets . . . When she had dizzy spells, her doc warned her . . . "But there's a chance in a new show," she said . . . The other ayem when her alarm clock went off it frightened her to death, the coroner reported . . . She achieved in death what she couldn't in life . . . The newspapers, quoting the coroner, ... ... ... said: "Occupation, actress." Man About Town: Gael Sullivan will of Mr. Truman's brain-truresign If Jim Farley is taken into Ed Pauley, Demmy councils. the Prea's pal, told chums in California he wouldn't be surprised "if the donkey nomination went to Bte." . . . Carlyle BlackweU, star, was badly hurt when two bulldogs jumped him while out for a stroll In Miami Beach. st ... Folsom of had this comment on the N. Y. gazettes' roastings of his recent kissing spree: "Awl Ah wanta know," he said, "were mah name spelt raht?" . . . Diamond merchants say Bobo's ring cost Rockefeller 42 Gs. . . . Skewp: Bioggers insist that "S" in Mr. Truman's name is merely an initial. It stands for Shippe (rhymes with Mississippi), according to an old dinner guest list at a Providence, R. I., St. Patrick's Day affair. ma'am, ' Smart Shirtwauter OTHER style tops the smart NOshirtwaister this junior version is easy sewing, has few pattern pieces. Try a bright candy striped fabric used in contrasting-directions- . 1 8285 and 18. coma In slie Sin 11 . 11, 12 yards of Send an additional twenty ire centa for Tour copy of the Spring- - and Summer FASHION, oar complete pattern mifi. sine. Free pattern printed fniide the book, also free knitting direction. Send juur order tot SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT. HO South Weill St Chicago 7, 111. Enclose 25 cents in coins for each pattern desired. Pattern No Size Address. Ain't It So A man wrapped np In himself makes a very small package. A chip on the shoulder always Indicates that there is wood higher up. The reason women always win arguments is that only the stupider men will argue with them. The best way to kill time Is to work It to death. Our biggest worry isn't foreigners who think we have all the money in the world. It's those Americans who think we have all the time. Eunice Skelly, widow of star Hal Skelly, finally has won $100,000 settlement from the N. Y., N. H. and Hartford railroad for the accident that killed Hal 16 years ago. . . . Marcel Vertes, fashion illustrator, has turned to cartooning in his latest book, "It's All MentaL" Even psychiatrists howl at it. . . . Latest feud is between Henry Morgan and Carl Brisson because Henry called him the "male Hildegarde." . . . Clothing mfrs. are openly discussing (in New York hotel foyers) their "hundreds of thousands" of orders for uniforms. . . . Botany Mills (biggest of wool factories) has started production of khaki cloth, again. . . . The $237,000 Flor' i Governor Caldwell won in a lib-- tait from Collier's will be turned over to A & M, the Negro college. -, CHANGE "Dear WW," writes J. W. Slower of the Detroit Times, "if you feel that newsboys benefit from the experience, we'd like your thoughts on of LIFE? It." Are you going through the functional middle ago' period peculiar to women 3S to 52 yrs.) t Does this make you aufler from hot Bathes. The' best way to start any career Is selling newspapers on street corners. For one thing you meet a better class of people and, for another, they meet you. . The Cincmagicians: A generally "The Miracceptable acle of the Bells" get its applause expressed in long sighs. When the yarn threatens to be mired in sentimental goo, it is rescued by Valli. MacMurray and Sinatra. . . . "The Challenge" is a passable sleuth-happchiller that scares up several has a tingles. . . . "Mary frail script playing second fiddle to F. Carle's pianoing. . . . "Spring," Russian import, is the most ludicrous Kremlin product since . . . "Marshal last pop-ofof Cripple Creek" tells how the feargot those pretty less little notches on his shootin irons. tcar-tugge- v to nervous, hlghatrunt:, tired? Then do try Lydls K. Plnkbam's Vesetablo Compound to relieve aiicti symptoms, pinkham's Compound also has what Doctors call a tonla affect! LYDIAE. PINKHAM'S VS22S& y f. pipeline, that project constructed during the war as a means of getting What a Switch! Dept.: All the an emergency oil supply from Nor- candidates who are getting big man wells in Northwest Canada to build-upsay they'll run. Ike, who Alaska, It ending tn the Junk yard. doesn't need any, says he won't All that it left of it now It being trucked out for shipment to Junk Newt Item: "Gerald L. K. Smith, dealert in the Midwest United States. the rabble-rouseviolently ill from Fifty truckt work night and day out arsenic." of Johnson's Crossing on the Alaska Oh, the poor, poor arsenic. highway hauline talvnff The Canol 8 Pattern No. Howcum the state department is allowing Max Schmeling a passport .to come here and fight at his age of 43? Didden he do enough fightIn the Stork the ing for Adolf? other night Randolph Churchill remarked he was departing for London. . . . Oh ho," said Wwhal . Wwag, "duckin' the draft, eh?" . . Mike Romanoff is now the West coast Billy Rose with mor'n 8C papers carrying his col'm. . . . Billy, himself, after struggling for years to become famed as a showman, songwriter, art collector, storyteller, magazine essayist and winds up with the nickname: "Broadway Rose." Governor 8285 IS, 14, ... BUNDLE FROM HEAVEN U. IHPj ex-fil- m Aw, Drop Dead Taft-Hartle- y s, Tailored Classic For Juniors s And Your Strength and Eaergy Is Below Par X Bay to aaaeee) by etleordel 1 klaV ooteoaouo laaettoe) tkei "aete to aemmulau permit For truly meny people feel tired, veea aad miserable ho tee fell te remove oeeeea alda eee alriaeyt otbor weete metier from Ibe awy ve '"""e ay euffer earr'ni baetaehN beedoehee. Oil a peine, fMtlnf alekta. lee pelee ewellinlia -end treaty ertne-Uo-o ireiurot unuim erltb emartleg and barelnf le eira taet tometatai b) root "itb be kidaeyt or bleddei Teere eboald be ae dnaM Ihet a rem pi treatment It wleer thee aeclert tee Woea e PiUe It le bettor te rely to ao"lrlr that bee trm teumryeide ep thee es Uee laeerehiy earaothini prerel teoa e beee beea tried and meay Are tl ell dnit etoraa. t,et Oeaa yean todey e- J"' -e |