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Show Page 4 THE SIGNPOST Charlie HcrAe By Ted Collins Well, you bedraggled scholars, there's about three weeks of school left. Then we can toss off the worries of lessons and fight for first place in the bread line. Speaking of bread reminds me of what another great columnist once said: "Give me this day my daily bread and I pray that my column will be read." My bread doesn't dep-'id on your reading this so those that would have me starve might as well read on. Anyway, some body ought to read this. There have been suggestions to change the name of this bit of athletic propaganda to Charlie Steer. There's been such beefing herein. Rather than have the typesetter make a new cast, it's easier to change the policy so you lucky people now behold a new Charlie Horse New Charlie Horse For those hoping freshmen who are desirous of adorning their unmanly chests with a block W .or their faces with a few scars I herewith submit some homely supqestions how to become a star athlete. In the first place get dumb. 'If you think your smart, try understanding Browning's Rabbi Ben Ezra. This should convince you that there's more to being smart than pouring water out of a boot, directions or nay. After you're good and dumb, practice being modest. This doesn't mean being able to take the cheers without having to buy a hat four sizes bigger than the old one. The last but not the least important thing to master in becoming an athlete is temperance. Never enter the field of play with the empty bottle in hand. Above all do not stop a play to shove the bottle back into your sweater. Temperance is an art and is mastered in many ways. There is the common and childish way of spiking the water with gin, or the more manly way of spiking the gin with water. Most football helmets will hold your head and a pint size of Tom Collins (no blood relation). If you're fast you can down a half a pint when in a pile uo; ,this is rather a dangerous way and proves uncomfortable should you have to play the rest of the game with the bottle half way down the wind pipe. There are other ways of meeting the temperance angels but I had to learn them so why tell you. With these few suggestions mastered the average freshman is bound to succeed in athletics. The institute I spoke of in Provo is anxious to have new players. Master these suggestions, and who knows, you may be playing football with Napoleon, or having a game of doubles with Cleopatra and Mark Antony. And I'll be glad to play withanyone. JERRY'S FOOD MART Ogden's Finest FRED Books and Stationery - 2478 Washington Blvd. We Meet at . . JOHN'S For the Best 406 25th Street The Women's Department Presents FOR GRADUATION A Charming Collection of Exclusive Styles Priced from $14.95 Fred-M ALye C3o. Ogden. Utah WEBER NETMEN TO Joe College Will Do His Own Dirty Work A home laundry in the basement will make jobs for approximately eleven students next year. In fact, these students will provide sanitary towels for all who enter the gymnasium. The only cost to the users will be a dollar paid with tuition as a towel fee. For $300 a washing machine will be purchased. Another $290 will buy the towels. Weber will be the only school in Utah that turns dirty towels into clean cash that will help worthy students. As head of the gymnasium, Mr. Reed Swenson will be in charge of this project. Tme ?aiU (Continued from Page 1) keeps it content. The katydid, ci she didn t, but her lover always got his nouse frau by Uddling quaint arias of romance-- and love, bne 1 never could resist after he play ed, "Katy, Beautiful Katy. When April comes around and the "Awakening Moon" of th.e Indians rides high in the sky, the red squirrel gets giddy and weak with amorous thoughts. Then nature invests him with a new suit, salt and pepper above and red on the legs arid feet. With his new finery he gaily trucks before his beloved, giving all indications of a desire to set up housekeeping. The woodpecker's heart throbs in fast swing-time as he drums on his tom-tom and awaits for an answer to his message. His love call richochets from forest and mountain carrying seductive thoughts Miss Woodpecker can never resist. The other day, upon hearing that I was writing this article, a cute little potato trudged up to me and wanted to recite her testimonial. It appeared she had waited by her bedroom window, her bedclothes ripped and knotted into a stout rope, thoughts of romance coloring her mind, only to hear her dashing romeo below in the living room asking her father for her hand. Judging by this it is indeed the men who need the help. Over centuries of "trial and error" time has failed to teach them anything. This article could be of some help but it too, like time, will probably fail to instil the "Brum-mel instincts" into the manly sex. The nut oi the message is: Keep an eye on the ways of the insects; they get their woman though she be but a worm. Fred MacMurrav has real "heavyweight's hands." This was discovered today when the husky star was unable to put on a nair of gloves selected for him to use in his fight scene in Para-mount's "Invitation to Happiness."SCRIVEN Office and School Supplies Phone 454 Weber Ties for Third In Conference Track Meet The Wildcat track men rang down the curtain on the track season by tying for third in the Jaysee conference meet, held at the "U" stadium. Mesa college of Grand Junction, Colorado, captured the conference title by running up 64 points compared to 4&V2 points for Westminster, second place winner. Weber and Ricks tied for third with 30 points each; Snow came next with 19, Dixie, Branch Agricultural college and Albion trailed the field with 13V2, 10, and 9 points respectively. Three New Records When the day of stiff competition had closed, three new records had been established. Walker of Mesa pulled himself over the bar in the pole vault to eclipse the old record of 12 feet 3 inches by one inch. Fred Jaussi of Ricks chopped off the old 440 record by turning in a :52 flat performance. Leon Childears churned the cinders for a new record of :24.8 in the 220 low hurdles, breaking his last year's record of :25.2 for this event. Captain Ike Hall of Westminster took individual honors by collecting 18 points; Leon Childears, Mesa, came second with 15 points, followed by his teammate Ham Walker who gathered 10 points. Wildcat Winners Weber's mile relay team composed of Johnson, Chatfield, Fernelius, and Gardner romped home first in this event to give the Wildcats their only first. However, the Wildcats duplicated their performance at the Provo meet by taking more than their share of seconds and thirds. Allan Christensen, Weber's mighty mite, chased Childears over the sticks for new record in the 220 low hurdles. Keith Peterson ran almost a dead heat with Ashworth of Westminster only to be nosed out at the tape. Eldon Gardner contributed his share to the Wildcat total, placing second in the broad iump, third in the 440, and running anchor on the winning mile relay team. George Stewart placed in the jumps and Ralph Hancock took points in the weights to run Weber's total to 30. Reader A fori-JeJt (Continued from Page 1) how to write a term paper. Procure a varied array of books which look as though they might have some bearing on the subject. Open the first book to page ten, and, using a preferred interval of twenty, open the rest. During the entire process we should advise using the little finger of the left hand to turn the pages with the greatest finesse. Placing the books in a half-circle around your writing paper, at a distance of approximately one and one-fourth inches apart, begin to write. Never under anv circumstances glance at the books, for their purpose is only for the sake of variety and to create the proper atmosphere. Start writing what is in your mind, supplementing the confusion abiding therein with what the teacher has told you in class. For Graduation SUITS - HATS SHOES SPORTSWEAR FURNISHINGS Watson-Tanner Clothing Co. MEET WESTMINSTER Westminster Ace Wins Jaysee Tennis Title Hal Dubois, Westminster ace, defended his . C. singles title by defeating Hardy Roberts of Carbon 6-3, 11-9, in the finals of the conference tournament. Dubois raced through Roberts in the first set on the U courts, but the final set settled into a dogfight. Both the players showed fine form, but Dubois' crisp stroking and superior service enabled him to run through the set 11-9. Robert's chop, the stroke that pushed Dubois out of the B. Y. U. meet, did not work well on the fast cement courts at the U. Ketchie, Wildcat singles man, was eliminated 6-0, 6-4, by Tippetts of Snow in the first round. In the doubles the Wildcat duo were knocked out of the finals again. Carl Beal and Claire Anderson of Snow duplicated their feat of the B. Y. U. tourney-by defeating the Weber doubles team in the finals. The new Wildcat team of Melvin Manfull and Glen Freeman bowed to the champions 6-1, 6-1. Manfull and Freeman drew a bye in the first round; in the second round the Wildcat team defeated Carbon 6-3, 6-0. Wildcat Golfers Defeat Cyprus Weber's five man golf team composed of Shannon. Walker, Stevens, Toyn, and Wilcox decisively defeated Cyprus high school in a match held last week at the El Monte golf course. It was an easy victory and the final score stood at 13 to 3. As the end of this new golf league initiated by Coach Bob Davis draws near, Davis feels that the league has been run successfully and that it will be continued in the future. Weber still leads the league with a loss of only one match. If you find that the pages are not filling up well, place a few places on the paper. Now comes the most important part of all indeed we may say that the entire success of your composition depends upon your bibliography. We have found the following formula highly successful:I plus R, minus C. B. DeMille equals M. D. plus Ph. D. times C. C. C. Our interpretation follows: Check out every other green book in the library. If you like the name of the author, put it down; if not substitute a movie star, such as Clark Gable. Arrange the names neatly in a diagonal line on the inside back cover of the first book you opened. To simplify matters, we advocate using the same publisher for all the books. Therefore, put Macmillan in the upper left hand corner of the page and arrange enough ditto marks to take care of the rest in a circle TERM PAPERS ARE DUE - - NOW! Don't Forget Your Folder - Standard Sizes 3 for 5c 2 for 5c 5c each At THE COLLEGE BOOK STORE DANCE At BERTHANA BALLROOM AIR CONDITIONED AND COOL ALWAYS A GOOD CHOWD PERFECT RHYTHM MUSIC WEDNESDAY & SATURDAY T rl r sv TniiTMOmcnf Liauuci xuuiiianitiit Completed Weber college tennis team will meet Westminster Tuesday, May 23, at one o'clock, at Westminster. This is the first of the two matches to be played with Westminster.The ladder tournament at Weber was recently completed and the first ten positions are now occupied by Glen Freeman, Vern Stromberg, Melvin Manfull, Charles Ketchie, Glen Clark, Jacob Weese, Carl Warden, Dean Clayton, Jack Syphers, and Dick Seegmiller. This ten man team will represent Weber in the match Tuesday. . Teber's degree of success against Westminster will in all probability be measured by the manner of pairing adopted by the coaches. If the coaches agree to put their best four men against each other in singles, Westminster stands a good chance of winning at least three of the matches. Weber, on the other hand, will probably be able to take at least two of the doubles matches. If the coaches decide to play their men in any position they wish, Weber may tnke all of the doubles and part of the singles. This theory probably stands true because Hal Dubois and Bob Allen, Westminster's two top players, were untouchable by any of Weber's top ranking players of last year. From the form displayed by Dubois and Allen this year it looks as if they will be able to continue their victories. Last year Weber was able to emerge victorious from nearly all of the doubles matches played. This made it possible for them to win the second match of the two matches scheduled. In the third match Weber was defeated bv a narrow margin because of her losses in the singles. The second match against Westminster will be held at Weber, probably on May 28. Sociology Club Frolics in Canyon A busload of Sociology Club members traveled to Ogden Stake Camp the evening of May 11 for their annual spree in the higgs. After supper the highlights of the party were the Indian truck, tumbling swinging on the rafters, and ghost stories. six inches in diameter. The names of the books may be omitted without the teacher's noticing, due to the artistic appearance of the page. Now stack up all the books, alternating those of the first group with the green ones of the second, hoping fervently that the colors go well together. Return them to the library in grouos of three a day and spend the next month wishing mightily that you could have returned them all before some were overdue.If all of Hollywood's stars were suddenly to vanish, there would be plenty of great personalities to replace them. The |