Show JI w r r1ir I i THE WAY HE PROPOSED Did you hear about Flossie being engaged asked tho first young thing No Is It true Yes and Its tho most romantic thing you over heard of You know Egbert Tlgsmoro has been paying attention at-tention to her for more than a year Yes Well yesterday morning Klossio was helping bur mother to clean house and she had on an old skirt that sho has tried to give to every cook they have had for two years And sho had on an old blouse that had those great big balloon sleeves you know Yes yes And her hair was all dragging down into her eyes and she had been taking down pictures and dusting them and there woresmears of dirt every way across her face and her hands were In horrible great big gloves and she was wearing an old pair of carpet slippers that belonged to her father And of all things Yes yes What then Egbert proposed to her while sho was looking like that Ho did 7 Ho did and of course one accepted accept-ed him I Well a man who Is so deeply In I love that ho will propose to a girl when she looks that way deserves to ho accepted Yes but Egbert proposed over tho telephone A SURE SIGN m k f f l r i i h L SheWhat grounds have you for thinking that your new novel Is a work of genius UcTho fact that 30 publishers have refused It Progress I suppose you arc interested In our American commonwealth 1 No answered the distinguished foreigner Since my previous visit I find that in order to be of any consequence con-sequence American wealth must be of tho uncommon sort Washington Star Worm Subjects Our minister always chooses such timely subjects for his sermons What for Instance Last Saturday tho church furnace wouldnt work so ho talked upon tho fiery hereafter Milwaukee Sentinel Information Paw can anybody tell fortunes by cards cardsNo No my son Many a man who has thought ho could has found by subsequent sub-sequent experience that ho didnt hold the right cards Chicago Tribune No Wonder linking has wonderful success keeping his stenographers How do you account for It Ho always keeps a comb brush and box of face powder In her office The Supreme Test You say you lovo me but I must havo a man not of words but of deeds Heroic deeds you mean Not exactly Heal estate ones will oBaltlmoro American Got His Bill Have you seen Phil since be was in that railroad accident JIIIo does ho look badly I Badly l Ndt much lies got a spick apall new suit of clothes Ycnkeru Statesman Spoiled First American Child Hero I am ten years old and my parents actually actual-ly I objected to my going to tho matinee mat-inee Second American Child Tho truth Is that parents nowadays are getting spoiled Life DRINK CAUSED IT p FHU < f Isla I i r 4 ffJ Ii ii f 1J4t4 k r r 1 KindHearted Visitor You say that drink was tho causo of your downfall Meandering Mlko Yes I met a gentleman that was too Intoxicated to lake care of his money and tho temptation temp-tation was too great for mo Not Guilty Adam had been tempted with tho apple appleWell Well there Is one consolation said our original forefather And what Is that asked the serpent ser-pent pentWhy Why they cant say I was bought with political plums as many of my descendants will be And then Adam went off on a fishIng fish-Ing trip Chicago Dally News But Still Busy A young man In these days remarked re-marked the advocate of tho strenuous life has got to bo well armed for tho fray and to keep his arms busy What Is your son doing with his I believe replied tho fond father with a side glanco towards tho conservatory con-servatory that at present his arms are going to waist Baltimore AmerIcan Amer-Ican NOT THE SAME Mrs GSo their marriage was secret se-cret Mr GAlas yes but the divorce summons was served by publication Chicago Journal i Willing to Compromise MIggles By the way old man car you let mo havo two for a week Wiggles Sorry but Ive only got a dollar MIggles All rightlet me have that for two weeks Chicago Dally News Good Advice Should a fellow leave his hat and cane lu tho hall when calling on a girl asked tho very young man If sho lives In a boarding house and he Is wlso holl hang on to them for all ho Is worth answered the dispenser dis-penser of society Information Chicago Chi-cago Dally News Ever Notice It What queried the propounder of silly questions Is tho difference between be-tween a street and a bonlovard Tho difference whatever it Is answered the wise guy shows up In the rent receipts Chicago Dally News Played to Her Vanity Brown How do you manage to keep that pretty cashier so long Town Wo had n big mirror put upright up-right oppoulto her desk Detroit Free Press |