OCR Text |
Show TRU T THE SENATOR'S SOLILOQUY. Yerra, said the senator as he hung up the receiver, after having restaurant for telephoned a near-b- y and some fifteen ham sandwiches ASK FORy- hard boiled eggs with which to stay Wm. A. STICKNEY CIGAR CO. his stomach until dinner time, but wore Sometimes world. its a quare FINE Cl CARS ' Tls in it an at others were not. a quare lot av people inhabits it, too. At wan momint theyre wid yez an th nixt theyre agin yez. Now, heres Arramusha, this lasht convintion. an an th I towld Bin, Joe, phen this mouse to go afther felly Benner Smit sure they wint afther him. Bad senator, as he drew a document from A HOMELESS WANDERER. scran to. th messenger phat I rung, his Inside pocket, dated at th Hot fer; phats kapin him? Its starvin The writer of theso lines is a home Oh, tls ye, is it? he con- Springs in Arkansas bad luck to th I am. tinued as the boy came in and set Yankees intirely, how does they less wanderer, while paying high for home privileges In the the eatables down on the table, its make s saw, I dinnaw. Its prices spell were here. Im that hungry time yez frm th nagur, I tink. Yes, con- midst of a perfect Arcadia of homes. I cud ate a fried cat wid th fur on It. The way it all camo about was thus: Heres a dime fer yez. Had ye come tinued the senator, as he helped him- A child, of which I have several, got five minits airlier Id made it a self to two more eggs and another or a scratched with As the boy closed the pin something quarther. pair of sandwiches, its frm him. like Irritation that. door the senator grasped a sandwich Me dear frind an followed, erupsinator, he s and between bites was heard to muron tions the skin and a good occarred Bad luck to th black skin av him, mur: he writes to me as if I was his neighbor, noticing the development, n to meself phen brother-in-law- . Mo dear frind an concluded that it must be smallpox, As I was a and so expressed herself to another th gorsoon came in, tis a quare. "inator: This is to inform yez that Is it altogether necessary world. Joe an Blu, an th mouse Ill be afther takin th thrain for neighbor. to depict the result? ca-aWhy, those they goes afther Benner X.,.as I towld Salt Lake as soon as ye sind me r who would look the other way, be thim an th tings they did to th faro. Im happy to inform yez that silent and know nothing when even scaramouch was awful. Wirra, wir-r- Ive raycovered frm me roomatism a real estate dealer was in the neighexclaimed the senator as he re- n me other ailmints. Now phat do borhood, or some other threatened ca moved the wrapper from an egg and yez tink av thot? said the senator, almost as bad was upon the inserted it in his dentriculated ori- reaching for two more sandwiches lamity community, all at once consider fice, but Id hate to get th batin md some eggs. Wants me to sind that felly did. Av I dont get more him ca-a- r fare. Well, well, well, that themselves in deadly peril at the very wotes out av a possible sixty-tre-e niver ll die fer lack av anny-tin- g mention of smallpox. And so, withnagur field next winther Ill retire frm th out notice or warning, my erstwhile because lies too modest to ax an lave owld man McCornicIc an domicile was decorated with a beauthis felly Sutherland to fight it out fer it. Im in receet av a tillygram betwuxt thimsilves. But phat gets informin me av th sweepin victhry tiful ensign of saffron hue. I have not yet been permitted to see how it me was th wa-a- y they handed it to won be Fred Loofbourow in th me frind Tanner. Yerra, but Id Who looks, but have no doubt the effect is Murther an turf. all landed. Tanner I wonder av he towld all that could be desired by my dearthought theyd Mllygrafted? Sure I had Bin an Joe an th mouse th nagur that Fred made terrums out fer Tanner fer weeks back. Ye wid Sutherland before he got there? est enemy. Twas a Yerra, said the senator, taking anknaw I wantid Tanner. Meantime, like a country school th wid to mesilf square good chanst other bouquet of sandwiches and a teacher in the wilds of the place that saints to nommynate him. But bad few more eggs, but av Id known is responsible for my appearance in scran to thim,. said the senator, tak- that Freddie was goin over to th this sphere of action Missouri I am ing a couple more sandwiches and other side an tellin thim he never It is a great another egg, if they didnt jine In was fer me hed not got far. Id set boarding around. Twas th mouse on him. An I note wid scheme until you get used to it. wid th jintiles and do him. too bad, too bad. grate satisfaeshun that th balance av The object to which these prelimith push was chosen by th intelligint nary remarks leads is to ask you if tjl jt th it Ive a letther here, continued the diligates. Yours truly,th signed would, under the wise and benefidoes divil S. Phat P. nagur. cent statutes of this grand and gloriP. S. mane? P. S. Sind th ous state, be regarded as a crime to to me at me addriss. P. S., P. kill off the board of health? I dont S. Phats P. S.? Oh, tis mesilf as want to have any more trouble on sees now. P. S. Plase sind. hands; yet it has been suggested continued the senator, as my Well, to me that no matter how much a he helped himself to another bou- man or set of men may deserve killtonniere of eggs and took the re- ing, the law demands a monopoly of maining sandwiches from the plate, that pastime. It seems to me that I suppose its up to me to sind him laws ought to be more impartial. Glory be, he cant th since I quit skating, snowtouch me fer Pullman expinses, fer Long balling, coasting, swimming, tying (lywn in that counthry they dejat cans to dogs tails, fighting, stealing With each refrigerator allow nagurs to ride in th slapin and the other natural enjoyapples But Ill sind fer him; Ill sind ments of purchased here. 9 This does but it follow fer him. Phat wid Joe sindin thn that becauseyouth, offer good until May 25th the divide is somegreat mouse out av town, an Bin not feel-i- what nearer all the pleasures of life well, Ive got to have some help should be given up? an bechune mesilf an mesilf its mean unfavorable reply, REFRIGERATORS Anticipating man .Toes not th silf as is tinkin me let suggest something else. Suphe should be an Perrys no good pose I should $6.00 TO $100 00 make the anyanny more. Well, as Im hungry Ill way in the interest of the plunge public welgo to me dinner. I can always tink fare, do you think that other board, betther phen Ive something to ate, the board of We sell the National and pardons, could be deand leaving word with the flunkey upon in an emergency? They Century. that he was going out and would bo pended are all enough now, but if out until he came back, the senator a fellow friendly to were himself a mod make off in the direction of a cafe ern strolled and Brutus the community BRVB1KES-CAMPBELL where Bacon and spinach, two bits, of its medicinal rid would the Tarquins, occupied a prominent place on the friendliness be en' powers pardoning bill of fare. HIRDWME COMPANY elastic to and during safely enough o shield the hero? Time was, when we had no board 27-2- 9 If you are looking for a standard-fue- l WEST THIRD SOUTH of is health and yet if I remember and not clinker will always that Gate Castle right, we were healthier than we are uniform in quality ask for now. It looks as if the more .we learn or Clear Creek. ----- sa-a-- sa-ay- sa-ayi- a, con-venshu- n. 9 JHL about combatting diseases, the more combatting wo havo to do. In those halcyon days appendicitis, tuberculosis, peritonitis, tonsllltls and a few other Latin derivatives had not yet been invented, and still wo seemed to get along somehow. No doubt it was owing to our lgnoranco. Every time a man drank sour milk It didnt result in blood poisoning; wlillo microbes, bacteria, ptomaines, and such like, if existing and moving at all, had their baggage checked for some other port of entry. Eating restaurant meals and holdbeds is all ing down rooming-hous- e well enough when I am somewhere else, but when within a fow blocks of where I (am supposed to) hibernate as a steady practice and a board of health looms up villainously between it and me, tho matter Is vastly different, dont you think? Oh, if only my domestic affairs were of such a character that I would be a fit subject for a congressional Investigation, how happy I would be at How I this particular juncture! could laugh at and in various ways make light of boards, planks and other woodwork of alleged health! If this meets the eye of any others who are similarly situated, will they please call at my den and let us organize for mutual benefit and results? Yours in exile, S. A. KENNER. o On Friday evening, May 27, oclock, at at 8:15 college, All-IIallo- the musical organizations of that very excellent Institution will give a grand concert, assisted by some of tho very best talent in the city. Tho Imperial male quartette. Miss Sigred Pederson, Prof. J. J. McClellan, Prof. Sheperd and Arthur Pederson. All under the direction of Prof. Anton Pederson. This will be the musical affair of the season and will be an event well worth attending. o What happened to Brown? o LAND8CAPE GARDENING. Contracting for news lawns. Lawn cutting promptly done. Walter Williams, 757 South Eighth West Phone 1218 s. o Ask the furniture man. ca-ar-fa- re THE SECURITY ABSTRACT CO. FREE ICE Incorporated ATLAS FOR. 30 DAYS ca-arfar- ca-ar- BLOCK M W. SBCOXD SOUTH ST. ALT LAKK CITT e. ALT UKB AND TOO LB OO. ABSTNAOTS. A. J. BRVNEAV. Mjr. s. LYON & CO. C J |