Show Kathleen Norris Says Forgiveness in Marriage Dell Bell Syndicate Features 0 t i 7 r rL J L l t rL hV if it i- i IV I V t y yI I Presently hostesses are saying And Ill I'll ask a nice man for you Ivy It always alwaY turns out to be Phil Larrimore the greatest bore in the whole circle By KATHLEEN NORRIS HEN our children are W WHEN little we give them certain certain certain tain nursery rules of liv liv- ing They dont don't believe them but they believe us Later on we again give them the benefit of our experience and belief This time they dont don't believe either For example when you tell a restless discontented disillusioned young wife that she will make a grave mistake if she divorces her husband she flatly doesn't believe you Harry whom she married with such radiant hope and confidence confidence confidence dence only seven years ago has turned out to be a completely unsatisfactory unsatisfactory unsatisfactory un un- un- un satisfactory partner They just dont don't seem to speak the same language or want the same things any more Ivy has always hated divorce and God knows she hates it now but anything's better than to have a little boy growing up with a father and mother who have stopped loving each other and hearing quarrels all the time Lots of Ivy's friends are divorced and they seem much happier happier happier hap hap- pier and freer Shell She'll make it up to little John Harry agrees to the divorce Ivy rushes ahead with it There isn't any happiness at this point nor any freedom for new responsibilities and annoyances surge into the gaps left by the old ones and are worse than they The close friends who I advised Ivy not to put up with Harrys Harry's Harrys Harry's Harry's Harrys Har Har- rys ry's on goings-on now draw discreetly away they dont don't remember ever having said anything against poor old natured good-natured Harry They ask him to dinner They all feel sorry for Cor poor little John Ivy has nervous talks with her lawyer Hundreds of women go into nervous breakdown at this point Ivy hates business She hates Johns John's innocent talk of his father She hat hates s deciding what to do with John She misses affection approval cooperation cooperation cooperation tion from her own circle So she marries again She marries a man exactly like Harry only with a different outside All very well writes Anna from Palm Beach But what about actual infidelity Ive I've been married 17 years When we had been married marI married mar mar- ried about five and had two girls I Archie had an affair with his office clerk a divorced woman 10 years older than he I was sickly weak I needed him terribly and he was wonderfully tender with me and I forgave him him but but I watched Ourson Ourson Our Ourson son was born everything went on well for another few years and then four years ago it began all over again This time it was also an older woman whom he saw whenever whenever whenever when when- ever business took him to a city a thousand miles away I found the letter that told the whole story immediately immediately immediately im im- im- im mediately got a divorce Since then Ive I've worked helped financially by alimony and domestically by my two girls What would you have advised adI advised ad ad- in this case I My girls and boy love their father father fa father fa- fa ther he takes them off alternate week-ends week makes them presents They dont don't discuss it but they blame me and I know it I have never been happy I didn't expect to be I But there is justice in this world I cz J 1 An affair with his clerk r IS JS DIVORCE WISE VISE How Hoty much should a wife endure endure endure en en- dure before she turns for relief to the divorce courts This is a problem that many women have to face at some stage in their married life Maybe its it's just a vague discontent a feeling o of f neglect or a realization that the glamour o of f the first years have fled fled or or it may be a serious injustice injustice injustice in in- justice as in this case discussed in this issue She had been married about five years when she discovered that her husband was ivas unfaithful She forgave him that time H He was otherwise an excellent husband hus hus- band and father father father-a a good provider provid provid- er and affectionate About ten years later he again wandered f from rom the path o of f virtue She immediately immediately immediately im im- im- im mediately got a divorce giving up her luxurious home and secure social position Although she received received received re re- re- re alimony she had to work to support the three children Somehow she wonders i if f divorce divorce divorce di di- vorce was ivas the right move The The children still love their f father and see him often Their friends and neighbors seem to sympathize sympathize with him Justice is on her side but hers was ivas a hollow victory victory victory vic vic- tory it now appears there is right and wrong Is a good faithful wife wile to condone what belittles and insults her and let a aman aman aman man get away with this sort of thing We had a lovely home I had hada a faithful and beloved colored helper help help- er my children had infinitely better social prospects than they have now Who Vho is to blame for this change Archie or I I acted as I thought I was entirely justified in acting Was I right My answer is no you weren't right In marriage marriage marriage-in in true marriage marria mar mar- ria there there e-there there must be forgiveness for everything even that A wife needn't love the sin but she must forgive the sinner She can pity his weakness weakness that that stupid male weakness weakness weakness weak weak- ness of the spirit and flesh alike that so loves flattery She can be thankful in her soul that she kept her vow if he didn't have strength enough to keep his She can accept his apologies and promises with dignity dig dig- and and not too much belief And she can keep the home together together to to- to- to together gether live for her children friends books garden kitchen clubs clubs clubs-a a thousand normal interests She can simply close one door of her heart the glory of young love and trust Many a loving elderly man and arid his wife rightly proud of their fine children their home their place in society have passed this crisis V Wives ves have faults too Nagging extravagance extravagance extravagance ex ex- ex- ex crossness neglect of the children selfishness these selfishness these are the grave faults that many a good husband has to forgive Infidelity is the bitterest cross a wife ever hasto hasto has hasto to bear It outrages everything that is sacred in her wifely love But it isn't good cause for ruining several lives It isn't good cause for breaking up a home Nothing is |