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Show . The Tfiuruer6in Monday January 14 , 1985 Page 5 YE OLDE FLOWER Cachectic Observatory BY STEVE YATES Its not my idea of fun! I am usually not overly fond of winter quarter. Not because of the cold. Not because of the snow and wind. No. I love inclement weather the howling wind in the eaves, the snow drifting gently under the generous space beneath my front door all of these things send shivers of delight up my spine. Even when the temperature plunges to 12 below zero overnight, so that I am forced to sit in my truck letting it warm up for 45 minutes, I cannot help but feel exhilarated. When it is so cold that the defroster cant keep the windshield free of ice, and the tires squeak in the snow like fingernails on a blackboard, is when I feel most alive. In both winter and summer, I like extremes of weather. In the summer, I want it to be hoc. Real hot. Not muggy and mild with perhaps a few good rainstorms, for the benefit of the farmers. In the winters I want cold and howling blizzards that drop four feet of snow overnight. I hate it when its just kind of cold, wet and sleety. As far as I am concerned, when it comes to weather there is no middle ground. I love walking in the midst of a blizzard, and watching the people bundled up like Siberians stagger through the swirling snow. I cannot help but smile when I see peoples carefully styled hair flapping crazily in the wind. The expressions on their faces would have you believe that mussed hair meant the end of the world. It is better by far to forego fashion and wear a wool cap. Speaking of fashion, that brings up another point. Some people do not know how to dress in the winter. If I had a dollar for every woman I have seen walking around in a raging snow storm wearing high heels, and a dress that looked like it was trying to turn into an inverted umbrella, I would be wealthy indeed. Tell me, is dressing for success really worth a case of hypothermia? Perhaps if it were a successful case of hypothermia it would be okay. I would be willing to bet money that these same scantily clad women, if they were mothers, were the same ones who bundled their kids to the point of immobility that same morning. Kids always get bundled up adults rarely do. This seems dumb, because kids on the whole are a lot tougher than adults. In the winter, wearing footgear without plenty of tread seems shoes look unstable no matter what the dangerous. To me, weather conditions on an sidewalk they look positively suicidal. The same goes for cowboy boots. In dry weather theyre great, but on ice and snow they become nothing more than skis with heels. At the beginning of this column, I stated that I am not fond of winter quarter. As usual, I digressed. Now, before I run out of space, I guess I should explain why I am not fond of winter quarter. It is simple I hate winter sports. Particularly skiing. To me, clomping around in Frankenstein monster boots, and flying downhill, out of control, on a pair of slats, is not fun. The few times I have allowed myself into being coerced into going skiing, I have spend most of my time with my head buried in snowdrifts, or embracing trees with shocking suddeness. As far as Im concerned, going skiing is like paying someone who has too much money in the first place to make my life miserable. Too expensive. Too painful. No fun. 1 worry that when I wipe out my skis will turn around backwards and twist my legs off like apple stems. People say this fear is unfounded, because these new fangled bindings will release if you crash. This is true. What they dont tell you is that they dont release on normal crashes only a wipeout at somewhere near the speed of sound creates enough force to release the bindings. No thank you. If I do go skiing, it will be where if I wipeout, it will be at slow speeds on level ground. Truthfully though, I would rather go innertubing which some people say is more dangerous than skiing but which I find infinitely more fun (and cheaper). There is no accounting for good taste. Dont try to get me involved in winter sports. I would rather sit in front of the apartment dwellers fireplace (the oven with the door open, set to 250) and drink high-heele- d cross-countr- anti-freez- THE SUSC PUBLICATIONS COUNCIL accepting applications for student members. (Previous applicants will be interviewed as well). The council, which meets an average of once per quarter, selects The Thunderbird editor and advertising manager, approves the papers operating budget, and hears complaints. Pick up applications from Barbara Morgan, 3rd Floor Admin. Deadline for return of forms: Jan. 18, 5 p.m. is now SPRING BOUQUET TO BRIGHTEN WINTERY DAYS $3. BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE! 50-- $2. OFF ANY LARGE PIZZA OR $1. OFF ANY MEDIUM PERSONAL PAN PIZZA 50 6. PIZZA EXPIRES FEB. 8, 1985. EXPIRES FEB. 8, 1985 i L I LOOK WHATS UP AT PIZZA HUT! 579 SOUTH MAIN, CEDAR CITY Oh A-,0h 586-989- fogh A 6 &C |