OCR Text |
Show PAGE THE ZEPHYR AUGUST '89 spotted our tequila. Neither of us was 21 so he told up to turn It over. We'd already entered the U.S. with the bottle once, at Tynes protested. even We'd declared It This, Tynes exclaimed, was a classic case Tijuana. of double Jeopardy. The border cop was not Impresssd. But he did ten us that the drinking age In Arizona was 18, and that we could legally enter the country with the tequila by driving fifty miles east to the border town of San Luis. Tynes caressed hie tequila, and refused to let It go. Well go to San Luis, he said. We weren't Insured In Mexico, and as we shot through Telecote, we were a blur. We kept coming up on slow moving ok! pickups creeping along the broken highway. I think we should slow down, I told Tynes. He pointed to a speed Hmlt sign. Eighty miles an hour. You can go fast down here, he explained. Those are kilometers not miles, I said. Tynes shrugged. When we got to the border crossing, we proudly declared our tequila and started to leave, but the agent stopped us again. TWenty-on- e, he said. You have to be twenty-on- e. The agent at Calexico told us It was eighteen over here, Tynes cried. But the border cop was adamant Dump It, he said; and so we did. But It was the first time I'd ever seen an almost-groman cry. Not long after our return to La Canada, I decided Id had my fill of freeways, Jails, smog, even pools and orange trees. I headed for Yosemlte. There Is probably no other view that. Is more singularly spectacular, than the view at the end of the Wawona TunneL Trying to describe that sight In words Is, for me,. Impossible. But I thought Id found Paradise. I arrived Just at dawn and the valley was bathed In a golden glow, the rising rays streaked the granite walls In light and color. But the primeval scene was tarnished some when I reached the valley Even In 1969, Yosemlte was packed floor. In tourists, motor homes and trailers. I couldn't believe tt. I found a ranger hiding In his office, and asked him what to do. He suggested I head for the back country. We got out the maps and he gave me some Ideas, and some advlcq ... watch out for bears, he said. They love backpackers. It wasn't so much that the black bears loved the hikers; It was the pack and all those goodies Inside that they enjoyed so much. However, they were' still known to pinch the head off a human from time to time. I proceeded, therefore, with caution. I hiked out of the valley past Vernal and Nevada Falls, on my way to Merced Lake and Tuolumue Meadows. That night I set up camp In a forested valley above the falls. When It started to get dark, I suspended my pack from a tree branch, out of the reach of those bears, and crawled. Into my sleeping It had been a long day and I fell asleep almost bag, under the stars. , , wn . wall-to-w- all ' . , Instantly. . Almost. an hour, later, I was Jolted from my snoring state of bliss by a loud crash. It was a black moonless night; I could only see a dim outline of the trees and a large dark object In their midst, now plummeting to the ground. Apparently, a damn bear had climbed the tree and Inched Its way along the Omb to which Id tied the pack, until the branch broke. The branch, the bear and my pack all came crashing to the ground about thirty feet away. I frantically searched for my flashlight, until I remembered I'd left It In the pack. Be prepared, yessir. That was always my motto. All those years as a Boy Scout and I hadn't learned a thing. I could not see the bear at all, so I began to yell and shout, hoping I could scare him away with threats and epithets. And then, from my perspective on the ground, I saw the bear stand up, now silhouetted against the starry sky and walk on his hind legs toward me. . , 11 didn't exactly want to roll over on my back and Introduce myself. I was too scared to run. I was too scared to move. What I really wanted at that moment was to be back In La Canada by the pool, plucking oranges off the tree and drinking Falstaff beer. I The snorting stopped. The silence returned. The bear was gone. decided that sleep was now out of the question. I would wait for daylight,, lash the remains together and get gyl of there. The very sBghtest hint of Another thirty light was beginning to reveal features In front of me. minutes, I thought, and I can get going. I noticed a large brown stump on the far side of the campsite, and wondered why I hadn't used It as a dinner table the night before. The etump began to move. It wee another beer. Hie eearoh for food was as futile as bear number two's had been. He came over to check me out, and this time I could see his nostrils flaring as he analyzed me for good taste. I remembered how Id planned to keep some cheese and crackers In my sleeping bag (for a midnight snack) but had decided against IL The bear, no doubt, was disappointed. Finally he left. That was ft. I climbed out of my bag and surveyed the damage. Every food Item was gone. A whole pound of M & Ms, dried soup, Jerky, raisins, freeze-dri- ed beef stroganoff. Everything. Even the wrappers were licked dean. There wasn't enough food left to satisfy an ant What remarkable tongues bears had. The pack was In tatters, but the frame was Intact I tied everything together with an extra pair of shoestrings and started back down the trail to the valley. I got back to my car In the early afternoon. I drove straight to Modesto, miles west of the park, found a sporting goods store, bought a seventy-fiv- e new pack and supplies, and went right back to Yosemlte. During the course of the day, I'd developed a certain level of hostility toward those bears. I was determined to go back and finish the hike. I stopped only for gas and a big bag of popcorn (staple food In hard times) and reached the valley Just at sunset It was too late to start walking and all the campgrounds In the valley were full, so I drove a few miles to the Sugar Pine campground. I was too tired to move; I didn't pitch a tent, I didn't put the top up I on the car. Just cranked the seat back a few notches and went to sleep. car the Suddenly began to shake violently and I was Jarred awake In a second. An earthquake, I thought This Is the BIG ONE. It was But It wasn't another damn bear. His paws hung over the edge of the car and his nose and mouth were trying to reach the popcorn on the passenger seaL I could have I was that close. bit that bear on the neck, If I'd wanted ; But I didnt Besides, he smelled terrible. Instead I hit the horn, and the bear Jumped up, stared down at me briefly and ambled off Into the woods. I got rid of the popcorn, got back In my car and stretched out again. Within five minutes, the bear was back. This time he climbed onto the trunk Dd, and tried to rip open my new pack, now lashed to the luggage rack. I started the car and began rolling down the campground road with a large bear alttlng on the trunk. He seemed to be enjoying the ride for awhile, but after a hundred yards or so, he Jumped off, out of boredom, I think. I kept going. I left the campground, the park, and the Sierra Nevada. As Satchel Paige once said, "Never look back something might be gaining on you. Like black bears with an appetite for green hom campers. I . , . .1 lilltllllii liillllii : , P.r ) w Maclisp iv. fjNar ij , 1 La Hacienda h, 574 No. Main Jeff Davis, owner Open 6 AM to 10 PM 7 days a week I ceased my derogatory comments. Well, of course, thought to myself; eat the pack and everything In It I was never all that fond of freeze-drie-d food anyway or nuts and ralslna for that matter. I laid there In my sleeping bag, and listened to my brand new nylon pack being tom to tatters, along He chewed and tore and with the sound of healthy ursls masticulatlon. At least It sounded other. to the that one of from pack slobbered his way I a that way. On the ground, couldn't aee thing. After a while, the noise stopped; after a longer while, I assumed the bear had eaten everything edible I had to offer (and probably a few things that weren't edible), and had left In search of another dumb backpacker. So that was that My pack, I concluded, was gone. I didnt even bother to look. I was I decided to get some sleep and deal with my crisis In the morning. and twigs brought drifting away when the sound of heavy feet on pine needles I could hear the bear I could see nothing. But me back to reality. Again, piniring at the shredded remains and snorting about for some forgotten morsel that "bear number one had overlooked. He didnt find anything, however, and I thought he'd left. I And then. And then I got the strangest feeling that was being stared hear my own heart pounding at I listened for some sound, but could only next to me. I was lying on my furiously In my ears. A twig snapped, right stomach. Another muffled crunch of earth. The bear was standing next to me. The damn bear leaned over and breathed on the back of my neck. He made an GrrfffL GrrfffL unusual snorting noise as he checked me out Grrrrffft I U- MT't- J 4 f 'K 0' 4 ' i v i ee'c ' I ' '' - j . Over 15 Authentic Mexican Entrees plus all your American Favorites ' m6m 2 259-631- 9 i w- -- |