Tuesday, February 9, 1993 The Daily Utah Chronicle Page Five Smokers' rights? Habit worse than exhibitionism, flatulence last thing I want to do here Themake it look like I'm jumping on a bandwagon. The next to last thing I want to do is beat a dead horse. The third to last thing I want to do is open a stale, old can of worms. And right behind that on the list of things I least want to do is let any cliche' escape me as I begin this column. But it's about time I speak my piece about smokers' alleged rights. Get in my two cents' worth it, that is. And before I get going, let me explain that I'm not an advocate of outlawing smoking. Putting up with smokers' foul stench is perhaps less offensive than hearing them moan about how we, the nonsmokers, are consistently infringing on their rights. Besides, I can reap the benefits of taxes on their cigarettes as well as anyone. But I am tired about hearing about how they must be allowed to smoke because it's inextricably bound to their right to enjoy a meal, watch a sporting event, or fly across the country. What they obviously don't understand is how wretchedly offensive the odor of cigarette smoke is. Without harping on the statistics which tie second hand smoke to various kinds of cancer and as many as 7,000 deaths (3,000 from lung cancer and another 4,000 from bronchitis and pneumonia) a year in the U.S. alone, I can say that the class-carcinogen irritates the A eyes, mouth, and throat to the privacy of their degree that it infringes on my right to enjoy a meal, a sporting event, or a flight across the country. own home. (Well, sure they may expose themselves at home, but that doesn't But this is nothing new. The sensical grumblings of people like me have had some encouraging effects: Smoking is now banned on all domestic flights under six hours in length and the Delta Center is just one of a growing number of sports seem to serve the same purpose, now does it?) And consider Dustin isn't Morris arenas where smoking tolerated, to cite only two examples. this, no signif- icant study to date has linked witnessing an Chronicle And now there's talk about banning smoking in all public Columnist exhibitionist's antics to 7,000 places. "It's about time," I say, while smokers whine, "What about deaths a year. But smokers and their powerful lobbyists will complain about the liberty issue, all the while tobacco smokers' rights?" (Sometimes you'll even see this capitalized, Smokers' Rights, as though the rights not only exist, but are correctly signified only by proper nouns.) They argue that it becomes an issue of personal liberties. They claim that banning smoking will give the majority a carte blanche to bombard the public with millions of dollars worth of advertising aimed at easing the public's abhorrence of liberties. activity of the active set and fashion companies d, normal bodily function over dinner and you'll be considered crass and uncouth, the butt of jokes for weeks. Anyone who left the table in this case would be applauded for his or bellowed, "Hey, gargoyle." When this didn't work, he spat on the waiter. Overcome by the humor of the moment, he and his friend broke out in laughter and walked away. That's too bad, because I'm her efforts to teach you an important social grace. Funny, since only the latter can be considered natural and it carries sure the waiter would have none of the health effects of appreciated the opportunity to spit in his coffee before serving it Though it may not be subtle, their message of the admirable qualities of cigarettes is getting through. Smoking is much more widely accepted than say, flatulence. Light up a cigarette at a dinner party and people will be awed by your glamour. If anyone walked cigarette smoke, nor does it irritate the eyes or cause the throat to itch. And thankfully, the smell does not forever emanate from you and your clothes. So next time someone asks that annoying question, "Mind if I smoke,?" answer with one of your own. "Mind if I fart?" This Liberal Ed Course Means Business believe this. I used to think that part of the of effectiveness these advertisements was due to subliminal The messages. advertisers, however, aren't that habit outside, nor even to the I found this out working with the American Tobacco Company while they were in town for a week-lon- g convention. Without going into too much detail, let me illustrate their What close-minde- intolerant and unaccepting. Discreetly perform a turned up the volume and models, according to these ads. More than a few people seem to exhibitionists' personal liberties? Wouldn't outlawing that particular "lifestyle choice" lead, to snuffing out any other liberty the majority decency away from the stench of smoke, he or she would be exemplar of their ranks summoned a waiter. "Hey!" he said. When he got no reaction from the waiter, whose back was turned, he studly, rugged, tasteful and an Did powerful exhibitionists' lobbies voice the same concerns when states were passing public about to . smoking. . And it's working. Smoking is glamorous, charming, begin crushing other personal bills? will continue subtlety by relating the way one . finds deviant? It didn't, despite the fact that their rights were more harshly curtailed than smokers'. They weren't given the option of taking their disgusting subtle. Foundations of Business Thought Management 101-- 1 3 hours credit M,W&F . Editor: ". .'. ; . The debate over homosexuality is awfully revealing. The imposition of a narrow-minde- d value system on minorities is being carried out by bigoted homophobes. It is an oppressive, medieval mentality and a nation in distress when a homosexual cannot reveal hisher true identity without fear of persecution. Hmmm...I must have heard that argument in one form or another 50 times in the past week. It's usually delivered in a self-righteo- strongly worded tone replete with name calling and accusations. Of course, the defenders of the rights of gays are always elevated to the status of the modern activisthero; a truly brave in a time of dark creature oppression. Give me a break. From what I've read, I must be an ignorant, bigoted, homophobic, repressive person. And that's OK. Because no matter what I'm called, I'll always know the truth for what it is. These terms mean nothing to me because their application is predetermined by politics. I am a member of the U.S. Army Reserves, so this argument has implications for me. I would rather not enter the debate, yet now I feel obligated to voice an opinion. Our commander in chief today is a man who has already reflected his disdain for the military on many occasions. Now he is determined to impose his social Date: Cost: know. contradictions. Or are they beyond their spectrum of ideology, as I suspected all along? t, So what do all of these Some of the most simple concepts of business took hundreds of years to develop. Great thinkers and philosophers debated them. Families, countries and kings warred over them. Artists, writer and musicians portrayed them. And now you can study them. This course will take you on a trip through ancient and modern times to discover the roots of modern business, spending the majority of time on how business fundamentals are applied today. social engineers want anyway? My acceptance of Qualifies as Behavioral Science Distribution Course. recall sharp claims' of intolerance and imposed values during the presidential elections. Yet today who is imposing whose values on whom? I wonder if those who claim to be tolerant, accepting I and open minded realize their close-minde- d, neo-leftis- homosexuality? Is that the goal of all this? Well, forget it. You can legislate, you can proclamate and you can nauseate, but I will never CONTINUING EDUCATION UNIVERSITY OF UTAH associate. David C. Neal institution which he has never cared to be a part of, as we all ran MHGHall an agenda on the U.S. Military 17 .fililtllj 8:50 a.m. to 9:40 a.m. to not want homosexuals in military OK junior history THE BREEZE CONCERTS Direct from New Orleans KBZN9T.S SPONSORED BY "BREEZE - .IS'!!''- Si - THE NYLONS BASIC FEATURES 31, 1993 June $4,375 (2 courses) $4,620 (a courses; ....Includes.... 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