Daily Utah Chronicle Wednesday, November 17,2004 Rottom line advice for the romantically disenfranchised Run,flygirl, run Dear Danni: I've been hanging out with a guy for three months. We spend four or five nights a week together. We hook up, but he's also way cool. He calls me when he says he's going to and never flakes out on me. But, he just said the other day that he doesn't want to be anyone's boyfriend, and isn't "ready" for a serious relationship. But I know he's not hooking up with anyone else. I think he's just scared of the term "boyfriend." Danni, I'm way into this guy, and we have really good chemistry. I mean, the fact that he's not hooking up with anyone else is a big deal, right? So doesn't that mean I should just be chill, and be secure in the fact that he wants to spend time with me—no matter if we have a title or not? That is one serious survival tactic. Dear Not Listening: Truth be told, men are not compliOK, (big sigh), let me break this cated—ever heard the term, "Why down for you in less technical terms. buy the cow, when you can get the When your guy says, "I just don't milk for free?" Ladies! Get a clue! want to be anyone's boyfriend," you need to be translating that into guyI know what you're thinking. You're speak. Let me do it for you—what thinking that those girls that walked he's actually saying is, "I don't want away didn't have what it took to stick to be your boyfriend." it out. Those girls were not the cool, independent, hard-to-get type that Why doesn't he just comerightout you are trying to show him you are. and say that, you ask? Danni Nutter But, let me ask you this, do you really Simple: Men are more afraid of Columnist want to hear, "Hang in there, baby. unleashing the psychotic wrath He's not the loser everybody's tellof the "defining-the-relationship" talk, the "I-don't-think-we-should- cornered into any of those discus- ing you he is. hook-up-unless-we're-together" sions at all costs. If you wait and keep your mouth speech, and the ever famous, Where do you think the term shut and call exactly the right time "I'm-taking-your-favorite-hoody- "Coyote Ugly" came from? Men and anticipate his moods and have w i t h - m e - w h e n - I - l e a v e - i n - t h e - would rather chew their own arm off no expectations about communicamorning-and-you-won't-see-it-ever- attempting to leave in the morning tion, or your own sexual needs, you again-unless-we're-an-item" move undetected, than risk having to wake can have him!?" than...well, just about anything. up that chick that looked "oh so fly" It's not that I am unsympathetic to the cause. I've been in your boat It's true—men will avoid being the drunken night before. before, and trust me, you're headed upriver without a paddle. So, let me do you the favor that no one did for me four years ago—my advice? Run. By hanging around like a stray puppy starved for affection and attention, you're not only saying to him "It's alright that we hook up a few nights with no title, or sign of one in the future," but you're also saying to him "I am definitely not the girl you want taking a permanent residence in your life. I don't even have enough self-respect to know I deserve better." Trust me, if he was that into you to begin with, he wouldn't want anyone else honing in on his territory. He would close the deal himself. Set the bar a bit higher and move on. Happy hunting. advice@chronicle.utah.edu Maybe you don't need a friend. Maybe you need advice. Advice will be given freely every Wednesday—that's the hump of the week. The Used comes home HEALTHY WOMEN NEEDED tonight at the GENITAL HERPES PREVENTION STUDY E-Center Dan Fletcher Staff Writer We are seeking healthy women for a research study of an investigational vaccine to prevent genital herpes disease Having broken into BillYOU CANNOT GET HERPES FROM THE VACCINE board's Top 100 at No. 6, The • Confidential herpes blood test Used have set out on a quest to spread its now grown-up gos• Compensation provided pel of broken, mended and re• You must be between the ages of 18 and 30 broken hearts to many skeptics and disbelievers. You must not have cold sores or genital herpes Tonight, Orem's blessed • University of Utah approved research prodigal sons will return home to West Valley's E Center to • Division of Infectious Diseases plead their case. In attendance for reasons of moral support will be an all-star cast of modern rock miscreants. Zion's most notorious offspring have propelled themselves from Happy Valley's most hated to hometown heroes in textbook fashion. Having found a refuge from religious oppression and social angst in good ol' Rock and Roll, The Used took the world on with their hearts on their f t sleeves and their amps turned up to ii—OK, a few strings atYOTJH OWTNT B O S S tached to screamo puppetmasiUSINESS SOLUTIONS ter John Feldman didn't hurt. FOR XnSTVY JUNTD After rounding the globe on the wings of a million-plus sellEXISTING ing self-titled debut, the band EKTTREPENEURS retreated back to their humble origins to pen the achingly CALL FOR haunted In Love and Death. In CONSUI--TATION lieu of rehashing their screa1.866.28O.5857 mo roots, In Love And Death is injected with a newfound appreciation for rock and roll authenticity, which some would argue has freed the band of its flavor-of-the-week bonds. Setting the mood for this reunion will be metal-core misfits The Bled and classic rock and roll prodigies Letter Kills. Both of these bands are destined to win over broken, angry teenage hearts, and to shatter eardrums for years to come. My Chemical Romance and its macabre metal-punk musings will provide a helping hand to The Used. The band is the longtime cohorts of the headliner, and the two have shared the stage on countless occasions. Previously, this dynamic duo staked its claim as forerunners of the new millennium's screamo invasion. And now, as the genre's legions are retreating en masse, they can be seen running handin-hand, right in the opposite direction. Utah kiddies who are about to flee from their lockerJust when you thought this season of Utah Football was crimsonlover's high school music collection into dangerous, more colored crazy - #6 in the BCS rankings, #5 in the AP poll, #6 in the elitist territory of college radio coaches' poll, the best quarterback in the nation, the best offense might have their last love affair in the country, the best coach on the planet - guess who's coming with The Used tonight. Then to town? ESPN College GameDay. again—old habits die hard. Only time will tell if The That's right. The trio of Lee Corso, Chris Fowler, and Kirk Used and Co. make it out alive, Herbstreit brings the nation's top college football show to the U but if you feel like catching the campus and you need to be a part of the excitement. The show ensuing riot—you know where to go. will broadcast from the southwest corner of the Rice-Eccles Please call: (801) 585-9874 or see the web site at www.herpevac.com Hey ESPN College GameDay, Be there when ESPN College GameDay broadcasts from Rice-Eccles Stadium Friday and Saturday. dfietcher® chronicle, utah. edu The Used Tonight at 7 p.m. With My Chemical Romance, Letter Kills and The Bled At the E-Center in West Valley City (3200 S. Decker Lake Dr.) Tickets are $19 and can be purchased from all Smith'sTix outlets. Stadium parking lot, near the TRAX station. Here's the schedule: ESPN College GameDay broadcast times Friday - 3-6 p.m. (be there at 2:30) Saturday - 8:30 to 10 a.m., noon to 2, 7 to 10 p.m. (be there at 7:30 a.m.) This is the first time College GameDay has stopped in Salt Lake and at the U, so let's have a sea of crimson out there cheering on Corso and company. And let's show the nation that when it comes to Utah Football, You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet! UTAH FOOTBALL Fasten your seatbelts.