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Show If A Man Takes Liberties Is It Always the Girl's Fault? Are the Men Always Free From Blame? The Following Is the Opinion of One Girl. i Not long ago, I listened to a friend of mine ami her brother Tom, a lno big fellow of twonty-thrco, discussing a young tnnn named Foltus nnd tho way1 he had carried on with tho llttlo llt-tlo stenographer in his father's office. of-fice. Well, said my friend at last, after all, if a man takes liberties it is tho girl's fault. A girl can havo pretty much tho behavior which she wnnts of a man. (You bet sho can in. terpolated Tom.) There Is Ethel Can-field, Can-field, for Instance, In tho satno office for years, n prettier nnd far moro attractive girl, and nothing of tho sort ever occurred with her. (You bet It didn't! said Tom with finality.) final-ity.) "You nro quite right," spoke up tho mother of Tom and his sister: If a girl behaves herself as sho should, and permits a man no liberties, theso things do not happen." Nino out of ten men, and-nearly all women, will, I think, ngrco with this point of view. ' Everybody speaks of tho girl allowing al-lowing or permitting liberties. I have never heard It said that a man allows. himself or oven permits theso things. Tho blamo lies always with tho girl. The man it seems, will bo either what sho requires or lnsplros him to be, or what she permits bim to bo. Mothers certainly, nearly always toko this vlow. Men nearly always tako it. If you want to seo It upheld up-held authoritatively, you havo only to read Iluskln's Sesame and Llllics. But, somebody will arguo, tho girl likes and encourages tho idea that It is sho who inspires men. Yes, I bo-lievo bo-lievo sho does. I confess to having a shameless prldo in it myself when I was in my teens, though I feel very differently about it now that I am twenty-three. It flattered and pleased mo to know that young lords of creation crea-tion who happened to bo In my Hfo were, by their own Insistence, so Jo-pendent Jo-pendent on me for inspiration. It lent zest and meaning to life to know that I held (and I really, did mind you) the Ideals of some threo or four of them In the hollow of my eighteen year old hand. I hnd a high headed, spirited young cousin who used to say to me, "I'm sure I'd have to go to the devil, Jean, If It wasn't for you. Girls don't real-lze, real-lze, they simply don't realize, tho power they have In a man's life!" I nm afraid a good many do reallso It, and what Is worso, a good many tnko a certain pride in such power. Cheap and Tawdry Friendship It Is In tho modern business office, It seems to mo, that tho relationship between men and girls is most In need of mending. Hero Is a fortllo soil for tho sowing and flourishing of many cheap relationships. I am not speaking, of course, of the superior and high class of offices, though theso, too, are not always free from such things; I refer to tho averago large office, such ns I myself am in. or largo factories whero hundreds of young men and young girls are dally thrown together moro or less Intlm-i Intlm-i it . n rnro elri. nowadays, who has been out In tho business world any length of tlmo who has not had a chanco or seen her com- I panlons havo chanco, for flirtation and tawdry friendships with men. If you care to seo tho samo thing In concentrated essence, go to nearly near-ly any summer placo of amusement, or tnko a summer's evening walk In nearly any largo city park. Thcro is plenty of It, too as a rulo, in country coun-try small towns. I used to think that theso unwho.e-sorno unwho.e-sorno relationships between men and ' girls wore to bo looked for only In towns In some of the wilder ports of the west, and a good deal away from civilization. But I havo seen them within twenty miles of Now York or Boston, whilo tho South, though I dislike dis-like to admit It because I come from tho Southland lovo it dearly, abounds - In such things. An Ever Present Question 1 feel sure that tho blnmo should - not ho laid bo much on any partlcu-lar partlcu-lar locality, as on tho ldca-vory widosprcad-thnt it Is tho girl who Is to blame. Tho eon3 and brothers hear it from us, and tako their cue. Adam, by nil accounts, seems to havo been tho first over tho rails, with his fceblo bleating, "Tho worn- an tempted mo and I did eat;" and - slnco then tho rest of us havo followed,, fol-lowed,, sheep nfter sheep of us, all bleating monotonously that. It all depends de-pends on tho woman, and If a girl behaves herself properly and, It 1 always a girl's fault, and so on. Though I havo always had a good -I many men friends, yet slnco my childhood I havo been a girls girl, too, and among tho many I know well this question, it seems to mo is forovcr cropping up. Ono girl" friend of mine went out to Montnna somo years ago. When I last hen-.d from her It was about this very question. In tho llttlo mining town whero sho lives, cheap and undignified relations between tho two sexes prevail. Sho Is an energetic girl, with splendid ideals; sho Is trying to better tho conditions by means of a social club; "If I can only get tho girls to seo and meet tho responsibility! (sho writes) I try to show them that If they aro finer, tho boys will bo finer; fin-er; that a boy's behavior always do-ponds do-ponds on tho girl's; that ns long ns they allow liberties tho boys win take them; and that It is their fault when tho boya drift Into tho wrong paths." Tho same o"d story, you seel From New Hampshlro a high school teacher a mlddlo nged lady this tlmo, Wrote mo recently about a young fellow In whom sho is much 'interested: "If only I can keep him from th9 Influence of tho girls hero who think they aro not having a good time unless un-less they aro holding hands or spooning spoon-ing (do forgive tho ugly word, my dear)! Unless you havo worked against tho lnfluenco of such glrlo, as I am trying to do, perhaps you do not know how tremendous it is." But I do know, very well; only I rebel against laying all of tho blamo on the girls, unless I admit for onco and for all that tho men nro nothing but a set of weaklings. This I do-cllno do-cllno to believe. Besides tho cases I havo cited there arcJ others where It seems to mo that the men aro very decidedly to blamo, even while wo cling to nnd relterato tho o'ld belief that It nil depends on tho girl; I menn such cases as arlso between a business man and tho younger and moro inexperienced girl who works In his office . The Case of Genevieve I havo in mind a very high typo of girl of twenty-one I shall call her Genevieve. Sho was confidential secretary to a business man of forty, a mnrrled man of position and largo affairs. Beforo sho took this position, posi-tion, Genovlovo.had lived a meager, deprived life. Beforo sho know It sho had fallen in lovo with her employer. Ho Is a fascinating man. Perhaps under un-der all tho circumstances It was a natural thing for her to do. But Bho is tho kind of girl to go to her grave beforo admitting it. Tho man, however, must have guessed; or he, too, with however llttlo right, may havo fallen In lovo with her. I do not know as to that. What I do know is that ho put her through a hundred tests, renewing them, day by day; and oven the Anal An-al test, nt last, of telling her how essential sho was to hie happiness. Tho Invalid mother l entirely do-pendent do-pendent on this girl. Sho was thcro-foro thcro-foro unablo for tho tlmo being to glvo up her position. Added .to tho strain of homo difficulties wns the dally strain and test to which she was subjected in her work. Unmounted Unmount-ed really to a lino kind of torture A this sho stood In a way to ' niako ono proud; sho never so much .as touched with tho tips of her fingers fin-gers tho companionship ho not only offered, but begged to bo allowed to give. Well, it makes very noblo stuff of somo girls, an experlenco of this sort when they triumph ovor It, but nt what might be said to bo an awful sacriflco of tho mnnllness of men. And I know another privato secretary, sec-retary, a good deal older this tlmo In years. Sho had always led a sheltered, shel-tered, inexperienced Hfo. "I am Jut nu old child," sho used to say to me. Sho fell hopelessly In lovo ns such n young nnd Intense nature can, with her employer n young man socially abovo her. Ho wns ongascd to a woman of his clnsB. Ho was goln away to meet his flanceo at somo fa shlonablo summer resort and camo to bid this woman goodby. "Don't ask mo why I'vo been such a fool as to fall in lovo with him," sho said, telling mo of It later. "I dpn't know! Somotlmes' I think It nover would havo been, If it had not been for his telling mo how much I meant to him, and kissing mo goodby." good-by." "Ho kissed you!" I said In full amazo, "I know! I know!" sho said bitter, ly. "I deservo anything you can ay to mo, Jeanl I should never havo allowed al-lowed him!- No; of courso not. Who would doubt It? Only, I sicken a llttlo at hearing nothing at all of what tho young man allowed himself! I had lunch tho other day with ono of tho nicest and brightest girls I know. Sho had only Jnst gone into in-to tho business world and had been two weeks In her first position. 1 had not had a chanco beforo to nsk her how sho wns getting along. "Well, how do you like your work, Helen?" "Oh, I like It very well." She put her bend on one sldo a llttlo llt-tlo speculatively nnd unfolded her napkin, then sho looked up brightly and laughed: "But, I to 1 you, Jean, 1 think wo should be told beforo wo go there. It would save us such a lot of shocks. When you've been brought up as I wns, I mean. Now If anyone had ever told me that any man would stand besldo my chair , and lay an affectionate hand on my shoulder! Oh, well It was nwfully funny, fun-ny, but, dear mo!" "Hut what on earth did you do!" said I. "Put him In his placol" sho answered an-swered with bright satisfaction. But only think of having to! Put Him In His Place Tho men I havo Just cited nnd hundreds of their typo, enn, of courso bo put In their place, by certain flno, strong types of girls, and vory easily nnd successfully kept there; nnd there nro plenty of Ethel Cnnflolds, who never havo tho least thing of this sort ever happen to them (You bet they don't!" to quote again my friend's typical young man brothor, Tom) . Again, thero Is hardly a girl of flno Idea's, I believe, who reads this, who will not havo tho tendency to think that In tho behavior of these three girls whom I havo cited, oven tho Inst one, thcro must havo been something a llttlo bit wrong, n llttlo bit Inviting, something amost uncon-sclously uncon-sclously a tiny bit frco nnd easy, or surely tho men would never havo gone so far, "It really docs, after nil, depend on how n girl behavo3 herse'f," wo say, "thero Is no deny ing that." No; thcro Is no denying it. That ( Is Just It. It does depend on tho girl , generally. And thero Is precisely , tho wholo shamo of It, It seems to j me, or what should bo tho shamo of , It, to tho men. Then when I hnvo gono so far as to say this, I feel llko turning direct to tho men, and speaking straight to them: , Are you going to keep right on, I , wonder, as you have so long gono on you young men, treating ua girls to ( tawdry behaviors or to gallant horn- , ago, according to tho girl? Shnll ( you keep on laying tho blamo or the praise for your behavior on tho weaker weak-er sex? When your mothers repeat tho stupid o'd phraso that n girl can havo pretty much tho sort of behavior behav-ior that she wantB of n man aro you going to contlnuo to glvo her your quick agreement: "You bet sho ennf You aro performing tho great labors lab-ors of tho world today, for thero Is not anybody who honors your achievements achieve-ments moro than I do! you who aro spanning the grcnt rivers, tunneling tho great mountains summoning tho lighting to do your bidding," you who nro weaving continent to continent, upbuilding now worlds, and conquering conquer-ing tho unthlnkablo air, labors besldo which thoso of Hercules palo; shall iou kooD on coming and going mor ally at a girl's bidding and too often a cheap and Bhallow girl at that? Wili you change colors llko a chameleon, cha-meleon, being cheap with a cheap typo of woman and dignified and re-spectful re-spectful with tho dignified? Because a cheap girl permits you liberties, will you tako them; and because another an-other denies you theso, will you ro- spect yourselves nnd her? When ono says "Como," will you como; nnd "Go," will you go? Will you contlnuo ' to shirk your responsibility? Or will i you meet It not only your own, but hers a little perhaps; and protect her ! If thcro is need nnd thcro sometimes : Is against herself? The Blame of the Vkorld if any cheap liberties sho hns permitted per-mitted you to tako were detailed hero for tho wholo world to judgo, you know, of courso, that by nearly ull men and women It 1 sho, not you, who would bo blamed, and who would suffor for them. Iu this ondurablo to you, I wonder? You reallzo, I sup-P030, sup-P030, thnt tho real reason tho woman H blamed and tho man Is not, is thnt tho mnn Is not thought to bo responsible, re-sponsible, not really accountable, In this relation. Men and women havo beon so used to lay tho responsibility responsibil-ity on tho girl. It Is tho girl who has led tho man on, it Is tho girl who has Influenced him, permitted or allowed him what was cheap or dishonorable dis-honorable to do. Is thlB tolerablo, I wonder, to you young men? Will you deal out tho old shop worn behavior nnd give homage nnd honor and manliness t" tho girls, who, as wo Bay, command theso things; nud less respectful behaviors be-haviors to thoso who, as tho saying gocB, Invito them? Or will something In yourselves command you to certain flno and strong and honorable behaviors lot tho girls bo who and what thoy may? Will you, In short, bo puppets, re-sponatvo re-sponatvo to a etrlng, or will you bo men? Wo need men! I shall bo thought Inconsistent. I hnvo been Inveighing ngnlimt blaming tho women for tho fnulty or cnreles3 behaviors of men; yet I find myself saying nt tho last that doubtless after af-ter all, It Is tho fault of tho women. Not of tho women, however, to whom tho men offer theso cheap bohavlors but tho fault of tho mothers who havo raised tho men who offer them. I cannot help thinking thnt It Is tho mothers mainly who havo kept up the old tradition. I bcllovo that most mothers who nro careful of their dnughters teach them that thoy can havo pretty much tho kind of behavior be-havior they want of a man; but it Is not ono mother out of ten, I nm suro, who instills into her son from tho beginning that bo can havo tho kind of bcnvlor ho wants of a girl, and sees to It with all her bouI that ho wants only tho bcBt. Men Need Self Respect, Too Bcspcct for women! Our mothers harp on that, and demand It for us and for themselves; and they insist wo shall behave bo as to command It, How does It como that so many moth-ers moth-ers say eo llttlo to their sona about tho self respect which would mako tho other admonitions unnecessary? I do not mean, of courBO, to Include all mothers and all men In this. I know cortnln splendid, uphendod, do. termlned young men, who seem to be ablo to mako mo feel comfortably like tho weaker box; nnd I havo no doubl that dollghtful ability In duo largoly to their mother's training. But theso nro, I nm bound to confess, tho ox. ccptlon, almost tho raro excoptlon rnthor than tho rulo. Most mothors, I bollovo, sending their sonB and daughters Into the world, aro likely to havo llttlo ap prehension ns to tho girls If they havo been carofully brought up; bul nearly overy mother, I am sure, will think of her sons as wcakor than hei 1 H daughters, and will hopo, a llttlo wist. VH fully, that no woman of tho wrong sort will tempt them nway from H good and dignified behavior; and wo J sisters feci nnxlous about our broth- H ers in tho samo way. Yot it is pre- H clsely theso good and dignified be- hnvlors that wo and our mothurs VH havo undermined by tho old harmful , theory that tho girl and not tho man i ' H Is to blamo. ''H Who, then, really Is to blamo? Tho t iH man and tho girl both, for accepting l H such n cheap and unfair standard; I , J and tho mothorB, usually of each of H them. Yet If any ono is moro to H blamo than tho rest, I' cannot help H thinking maybo it might bo tho moth- Q H ers, who aro tho first and tho last H to teach and uphold tho theory. Yet ' H I confess I cannot holp wishing tho . H young men wero mnnly enough to ft H think tho blnmo lies with themsolvcs H themselves of tho Btrongor box. H Woman's Homo Companion. H |