Show HEY CULLIGAN MAN Faculty Sage Joins Tech Topics Staff By Jim Culligan A Greetings students Faculty and staff In response to countless requests requests requests re re- re- re quests that means I did not count them I have decided to brighten your otherwise colorless colorless colorless color color- less existence with some little gems of wisdom and philosophy extracted from a lifetime of rich richand richand richand and broad experience Now that I think about it I never have met any rich broads but that's neither neither neither nei nei- ther here nor there I must get down to the business at hand Future issues of this farsighted farsighted farsighted far- far sighted paper will contain a column column column col col- written by yours truly in which I will attempt to answer questions submitted to me by bythe bythe bythe the readers of the paper about the little daily problems and Excedrin headaches which all of ofus ofus ofus us encounter from time to time These questions can be on any subject which your creative imaginative confused or distorted distorted distorted dis dis- dis- dis minds can conceive you choose the adjective that best describes your mind These questions may be deposited in inthe inthe inthe the Electronics box at the Information Information Information mation Desk at Main Campus or at Reception Desk at Downtown Campus This will not be merely an advice to the lovelorn column column column col col- but also to the forlorn careworn and the unworn I have a tremendous dearth of experience in this field and that alone should qualify me as asan asan asan an expert but my laurels go much further I have been advising advising advising ad ad- students for the last twenty twenty twenty ty years and most of that advice is printable although some of the advice I have gotten in return return return re re- re- re turn was rather coarse I am qualified in education by being non-degreed non in sport by being a spectator and in bachelorhood by being married Not to my talents tale ts I must confess that I am a leading expert on such varied subjects as the mating habits of the Duck-Billed Duck Platypus The cosmetology in use by the Fuzzy tribes in Africa the probability of ore deposits on Venus and other areas of tremendous disinterest to all allbUt allbut allbut but a few of trivia The world is in a sorry mess Everyone is beset with problems The French Franc is staggering and M. M De wants to b buy u y the Rock of Gibraltar and re rename rename rename re- re name it stone The Czechs C z e c h s have been Czech mated by their loving allies The Red Chinese have the Hydrogen Bomb Luckily for us the only system they have for delivery is a bamboo basket carried carried carried car car- ried on a shoulder pole The last Election was so close that the next President of the United States will have the distinction distinction distinction dis dis- dis- dis of being chosen when a set of Siamese twins decide not to split their votes The third party candidate has returned to his home state to d decide e c i ide d e whether to run again in 1972 or orto orto orto to stay home and attend to his business of space age buggy whips Into the midst of all this confusion confusion confusion con con- fusion I plunge recklessly to add whatever I can to the situation So drop me a line and I may advise advise advise ad ad- vise you as I did a former student student student stu stu- dent who was newly married and concerned about Law In-Law troubles Borrow from the rich r ch ones and lend the money to the poor ones and you will never hear from either of them again Wouldn't you like to avail yourself of such sage advice If so drop me a line |