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Show HUMOR OF THE DAY. FUNNY 8TOR1ES THAT WORTH PERUSAL. ARE The Flcklenets of Mankind Her De elded Negative Sporting Editor the Idol of the Small Ooy Feared They Were After Her Cook. The Evidence Agalnit Him. There was on embarrateed father In an "L" train yesterday. Ilia five son sat beside blm and chat ycar-cted about a new sister the stork bad left at bis houre. 'That ugly baby likes mudder," said the youngster Jealously. "Ob, yes, she likes your mother; but sho likes me, too," chuckled tho father. "Likes you!" echoed tho child. UTAH. College Agricultural JIuh! Then why does she cry when she looks at you?" New York Press. THE SCIENTIFIC TECHNICAL COLLEGE OF THE STATE. PROVIDES LIBERAL. THOROUGH AND PRACTICAL EDUCATION. ii I?, In purunce of e.UblUbM in Tbe AfricuUurxl College of Cub publlo Uut. for l bn mulnieninre of lniUuilona of higher Icemlng, Jo order eUaacs in tbe aevcral pursuits and profession of llfo." Act of Congrev Approved July t. IV creatine to promote Urn Ubernt education of Uto induatriai THE COLLEGE COMPRISES: THE SCHOOL or AGRICULTURE. THE SCHOOL OF DOMESTIC SCIENCE TRTS. THE SCUOOL Or COMMERCE. Trying to Steal Cook. Hark! In tho dark watches of tho night they could plainly bear foot steps in the kitchen. "Durgl&rs!" bo exclaimed, hastily covering up hte bead. "Oh, Henry," sighed bis wlfo, "I wish I had your faculty for looking at tho bright side of things. I'm suro Its that Drown woman tiring to cn tico my cook away." n 4 TUE SCHOOL Or ENGINEERING J ND MECHANIC RTS. ND TUE SCUOOL Or GENERAL SCIENCE. THE AGRICULTURAL EXPERIMENT STATION. A Desperate Man, COURSES. It was in a restaurant, and the young wife looked anxiously at her husband as be devoured a double portion of lobster salad. "I wish you wouldn't eat that, dear," she urged. "You know it never agrees with you, especially at night" "It doesnt, but I dont caro. ' "Its my turn to take care of the baby to night, anyhow. Regular barcalaursato couma are offered In Agriculture, Domestic Science, Commerce. Engineering, sod General Science, sad kick school courses In Agriculture. Demestlo Science, and Commerce; also Manual Training couraea in Domeatio Ana and la Mecbanie Arts, and a College Preparatory Course. ' EQUIPMENT. farms, orchards, sad gardens. scree, comprising campus, athletic . field, The College grounds occupy 111 Tbere are nineteen bulldfigs fully equipped for the various purposes of the institution. . Modern bsrns are stocked with the best types of horses, cattle, sheep, bogs, and poultry. Tbe tcientlfio and engineering laboratories and museums are provided with the most modem equipment. A ear load of new machinery has been ordered for the September opening. Tbe shops are thoroughly equipped for work la wood and metals. Extensive and new equipment la provided throughout all departments of tho institution. e A strong Faculty of members, representing tho best Institutions of America and Europe, are in charge of tho work of instruction and agricultural experimentation. All largo classes are divided into small sections, that the students may reoelve careful Individual attention, thereby Insuring thorough and eiSolont work throughout all departments. fiftr-thre- Hopes. Tess "It was Dr. Klllam who at tended the late Mr. loidgold, wasnt a No tuition U charged. Annual registration fee, 15. Registration of students, September 15 and 10, Illustrated catalogue giving detailed information regarding courses of study, entrance requirements, eto., will bo sent free on application . It?" Jess "Yes. He was called in only a few days before the old gentleman died. Why do you ask? Tess "Old Mr. Itoxley was taken slightly ill yesterday and his young wife sent for Dr. Killam at once." r AGRICULTURAL COLLEGE, Logan, Utah. A Position of Trust HEWLETTS MIXED PICKLING "You say your son has risen to a position of great trust in the com- Must Have Lived on the Ocean. University 3,000 Yearn Old. Tbe College of Confucius, the old The purser of one of the Cunard university of China, has for 3,000 years steamships holds the record of having ' SPICE munity ? "Thats what he has, answered farmer Corntossel. "The folks say theyve made him custodian of their , most precious treasures. He drives an lee wagon In summer an a coal cart in winter. Washington Star. borne the name of Kwotsekler. Its crossed tbe Atlantic 920 times. main building, the finest temple of Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Mym p.' Confucius In China, has 300 volumes For children teething, softens tbe gums, reduces ta In Its court, on which are engraved datamation, allays pain, oures wind colic. 26c a bottia. the names of its 60,000 graduates. . Eyestrain of School Life. Examinations of over 200,000 pairs of eyes and careful tabulation of the results In tbe Boston public schools show that nearly all children enter the primary schools with normal eyes. In of tbe the higher grades DETTEH THAU GOLD : pupils are myopic, and in universities this increases until from 60 to 70 per for the teeth. It prevents decay. It cent of the students are myopic. In and the hardens tho gums purifies In other words, nearsightedness breath and mouth. creases steadily from the lower to the higher grades, and In exact pro portion to the length of time devoted to the eyestrain of school life. S FOR PICKLES AND CATSUP. ITS THO WHOLO THING. lOo Per Package Quick Change. . one-fourt- h THREE CROWN SPICES - Aro Unexcelled in Purity, Strength! and Fine Flavor. - SAVES ASK FOR. THEM. TEETH FREE TO WORSEN! prove the healing and To Cleansing power of laxtlne Toilet Antlaeptlo we will mail a large trial package ..... jg with book of instructions absolutely free. This Is not Shores prBT Mem-- , a tiny sample, but a large package, enough to convince anyone of its value. Women all over the country are praising Paxtine for what .it has done in local treat-me- at of female Ills, curing all inflammation and discharges, wonderful as a cleansing vaginal douohe, for sore throat, nasal catarrh, as a mouth wash and to remove tartar and whiten the teeth. Send today; a postal card will do. Hoi d by druggists or sen t postpaid by us, 60 cents, large box. Satisfaction guaranteed. THE R. PAXTON CO., Boston, Mass. 214 Columbus Ave. j SHEET MUSIC FREE "Only a Carnation.' Great McKinley song, 20o, Answering Advertisements Kindly Mention This Paper. . When R!SOSGURQ!FOR ELSE FfllLS CURCS WHERE ALL Best Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Ui In time. Sold by druggists. DEAFNESS CANNOT BE CURED by local applications as they cannot reach the dis eased portion of the ear. There is only one way to cure deafness, and that is by constitutional remedies. Deafness is caused by an inflamed condition of the mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When this tube is inflamed you, have a rumbling sound or imperfect hearing, and when it is entirely closed deafness is the result, and unless the inflammation can be taken out and this tube restored to its normal condition, bearing will be destroyed forever; nine cases out of ten are caused by catarrh, which is nothing but an inflamed condition of the mucous surfaces. We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case of Deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, F. J. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo, O. free. Sold by Druggists, 75c. Halls Family Pills are the best. "Do you love me, Arthur?" "Way, my dear, havent I Just told you so?" "Yes hut then men are so change. Insane Mans Good Luck. able!" t A German merchant of Frankfurt ' suddenly became insane the other Comes Out. Truth RELIABLE ASSAYS. day as he was walking along the .1 .76 Gold and Silver ...,L8I Gold... Are you blind by nature?" asked 76 Gold, Silvr, IM street and threw away $12,000 he had Copr.. inclined citizen. Prompt returns on mail samples. in his pockets. A policeman luckily the charitably ARAPAHOB ITn ites replidfl the beg, candidly "No, sir, OIINVSR. OObfW was at hand and saved it blind Tm profession." by gar; - . ' I - - ' |