Show george macdonald who just sold the roney plaza hotel says gays he read inhere but we dont rec recall all it the difference bet between palm beach and miami beach Is the difference between the social register and the cash register at the newspaper guild canteen a hostess was dancing with a coast guardsman when the music stopped he pulled out routine and nd said now lets sit down and talk about you they sat and he put an arm arni around her 1 I get it she said 1 I see you talk with your hands honey he grinned im only whispering now mrs albert einstein visited the astronomical observatory atop mt wilson and asked about the giant telescope we use it she was told to discover the shape a of the universe my husband said the tamed famed scientists wife does the same thing on the tha back ot of an envelope I 1 A major told old this one to the the ca bets at yale the other day he said laid general giraud and lt gen clark were discussing the best possible places tor for setting up staff headquarters in combat zones the youthful clark recommend rec recommended ommen da a certain r distance from the firing lines but the older giraud shook his head and said too far ar back I 1 like to be right up there on the line but sir said clark you were captured twice shortly after the sullivan parents of waterloo iowa learned of the loss of their five sons aboard the cruiser juneau they visited washington where they volunteered to do anything to complete the job their boys had bad started A to tour ur of defense plants was arranged mom sullivan after a lifetime in waterloo suddenly found herself a lady of leisure there was plenty to keep her busy with ten and twelve defense plants scheduled yet she missed the little tasks of cleaning the house getting breakfast etc one morning when the navy lieutenant who accompanied them called at her hotel room in chicago he found mom making the beds she confessed she ehe had been tipping chambermaids throughout the country for permitting her to make the beds herself 1 I just wanted to keep my hand band in she said my favorite gag dealt with funny man talt tait taits motoring act who dreaded coming to the U S from london where he was always a riot martin beck persuaded tait to come here assuring him he hed d click to get tait used to american aude audiences they booked him first at yonkers N Y where he laid a frightful omelet at his first appearance next afternoon sauntering along the main street there tait paused at a fish store stori window As he studied a huge dead mackerel with eyes staring blankly and rn mouth auh eal wide open talt tait exclaimed eavens alovel thet reminds mehl HI lave ave a matl mati neel will rogers in 1927 the best way to describe russia Is russian men wear their shirts hanging banging outside their pants well any nation that dont know enough to stick their ebirt tall tail in will never get anywhere I 1 am the only person thit that ever wrote on russia that admits he dont know a thing about it on the other hand I 1 know as much about russia as anybody that ever wrote about it raymond paige relays it via a pal in london its about the all air corps officer assigned to a desk job he objected to fliers getting extra pay for or flying time why should you get more he barked at a texas pilots pilot were allin this war together tog etherl I 1 1 I know drawled the texan but who avei ever heard of two desks crashing headon head on variety discussing the chilly rl re caption given actors in pittsburgh recalls when katharine cornell cornel appeared there in three sisters some in the audience complained that they hear much of the dialog told this between acts by the stage man manager ager miss cornell cornel re ported tell teli the audience we cant hear thern them either much the same thing happened recently when blithe spirit played there night before it opened some of the troupe put on a show tor for wo wounded soldiers at an army bat pital after the premiere clifton webb wired his agent last night replayed we played to the wounded tonight we played to the beadil van boven one of efie be fun comics always a riot at the alace ori on broadway used to warn others about the opening matinee audience at north adams mass they sit down front van used to scream and devoli devour their I 1 autobiography A broadway book ing agent noted for his hi rodent roden t like past was asked why he be hired an assistant noted jor for being even rattler rattled 11 ohl oh was the reply hes he the heel bee I 1 used to be |