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Show THE CITIZEN 8 jiiiiMiiiimmiiiiiuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirtiHiHimuiiiuiiliiiiiiiiiliiiliiliiliiHluiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiuiuiiiiuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiHiiinuiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiiiiiiiHig OBSERVATION PLAN Granite high school girls have folded their tents with the sparerlbs and silently hiked for home. The idea can be extended indefinitely. We suggest a course of vacation- ing in the Swiss Alps to see if a A Swiss cheese can climb a tree. course at the movie shows would give the girls new ideas about house furnishings. A course in fishing would teach the girls that fish do not bite when properly cooked. It is a grand idea to remove home economics from the ' sordidness and hum-drulife of the home. true to itself in Salt Lake as it is in Denver and Los Angeles. The roads in Salt Lake and vicinity have an uncomfortable habit of blowing away. Unless they are chained down with a constant supply of water they dry up and! depart. In a dry season our roads are usually wandering around through the air when they should be resting in their beds and allowing the automobile traffic to pass smoothly over them. Salt Lakers and Utah folk generally are so busy that they have not time to chase after their roads in airplanes. t pv recall that story we told in our last issue about the O you Profiteers of Liberty Park? We maintain that it was as good a pirate story as could be written on the spur of the moment. We main- tain that it was true at. least in part , that it was funny and that it had several other merits which we cannot remember in the present crisis. No doubt, all of you recollect that we introduced Harry Joseph as one of the characters in fact, that we thrust him right into the . center of the dramatic personae if not in mediae res, if you know what we mean. We said that he entered Liberty Park, discovered the profiteering and called Commissioner Green on the telephone to protest. Now Harry Joseph calls us on the phone to protest says he was not in Liberty Park on' July 4 the fatal day in question that he knew nothing of the profiteering and did not telephone Commissioner Green. He is sure we do not want to do anyone an injustice. Where does he get that stuff? One would think we had accused him of calling up President Wilson and indorsing the League of Nations. Didnt we picture him as a hero, an indignant and virtuous citizen, calling on the authorities to suppress pirates on the Spanish Main of . Liberty. Park? What more could he ask? Does he want us to introduce him as the vil- lain in our next story or would he prefer to remain a hero? Of course, we are willing to make We admit that some admissions. fiarrys denial deepens the mystery. i. ' Who was it called up Commissioner Green to protest? Did he impersonate Harry Joseph? If Harry Joseph has a double who is he? Is someone going about duplicating our hero and i , infringing our copyright? Perhaps someone is going to call us up in a day or two and tell us that the vulgar tradesmen of Liberty Park did not raise their prices on July 4 with the consent of Commissioner There are pople always Green. snooping around to spoil a perfectly good story. Perhaps someone will call us up and dare to say that it was not even a funny story. There are people without a true sense of humor. They go about trying to take all the sun shine out of life, slaying every joke . they meet and blighting the lives of humorists. honest; Of course, if Harry Joseph will admit that the story was funny we are willing to meet him half way and admit that it may have been inaccurate in some of its details. If a writer is no longer permitted to design the stage costumes of his own details what is the world coming to! hard-workin- g But that is not all. We told another story a very solemn, even sad story, and it appears that Harry Joseph was in it We did not mention him, but he declares himself in. We simply said that the best box was given Governor Bamberger at the Fourth of July fireworks while, and whereas, the mayor himself was not invited. It was a reflection upon the committee; it was a cutting fling at the committee in charge for failing to invite the mayor after the city commissioners had given $2,000 toward financing the fireworks. And whom do you suppose our None other than boomerang hit? Harry Joseph. He admits that he was the chairman of the committee. The boomerang is lying innocently on the desk beside us as we' write, after returning to whang us viciously on the cranium. Every time we throw a boomerang, it seems, Harry Joseph is in the way. And this is the second time he calls us a well, a blunderer. He say that he wrote a letter to the commissioners inviting them all of them, the mayor included to all of the functions on July 4. If the fireworks display was not a function, what was it? Was it a fiasco? If the mayor is not a commissioner, what is he? And there you are. In conclusion we take great pleasure in commending Harry Joseph for his tireless and efficient efforts in making the alvation Army drive for funds a big success. Nailing Down Utah s Roads With Oil TTTE are glad that the city have decided to commls-sioner- s experi- ment with oil on our roads. They are forced to it by the shortage of water and have almost concluded that if it has worked well elsewhere for ten or a dozen years it ought to work well in Salt Lake. There is no manifest reason why oil should not be as Almost any evening the motorist, while bumping on bed rock, can see the road calmly floating over the neighboring fields. Now this would be more or less satisfactory if the road ever blew back to the roadbed. But the road cant come back. It soon ends m . . ganized labor . leading restaurants. Some of them .make . neat. little speeches, well written and well memorized and carefully calculated to arouse prejudice. It .will not have escaped the publics attention that the waiters are no longer picketing. They have, gone their several ways to new jobs and have been succeeded by professionals who are being paid so much per day. The strike has ended in failure, but the picketing continues. And it appears to be nothing but spite picketing. There is no' longer a chance to gain the demands put forth by the waiters. In fact many, if not most of the waiters, have obtained other An oiled from becoming vagrants. road does not float It is susceptible to no temptations from each flattering wind that blows. Every time a wooing wind sidles up to one of our roads the road immediately goes up into the air and winders away. Therefore, paste the roads with oil. Dont let them turn to dust and de- part. jobs. camped in Farleys canyon to work out a project in camp cookery as a part of their course in home economics. Naturally a part of home economies is to establish a summer camp in the canyons. The fact that only our best families establish such camps now must not deter the working class from camping out. The girls are going to learn how to conduct a camp on $200 a week. When the girls get up in the morning they start right in with their classes. First they study how to trap and kill ants. The afternoon class is devoted to microscopic examinations to distinguish ants from coffee grounds and sand from pepper. We believe it is a glorious idea to take economics out of the home and plant it in the canyons. In these days of high prices economy does not thrive in the homes. What it does in the canyons we cannot say until the 4 Pickets Become Destroyers unfair to or-- J in front of our m with interest that a group WEofnote Granite high school girls are . 13ICKETS still 'cry up its wayward career by becoming part of an onion patch or an alfalfa field, doomed for a long time to be the slave of the man with a hoe. We believe that by using oil the city fathers can prevent our roads Can a Swiss Cheese Climb a Tree f t . . It would seem, therefore, that the pickets are simply trying to injure the business of the restaurant men. If that is not their purpose, what is it? The other day an officer of the law stepped out of a restaurant and almost collided with the picket, whom he recognized as but recently released from the penitentiary. Is it possible that are being financed to ex-co- ns fight the waiters' battles? It is ignoble and shameful business when a fight of this kind is kept up after the object of it has vanished. ) The pickets might as well try to tear down the restaurants about the ears of the proprietors. It could not be any more destructive. To wreck a mans business is quite as destructive as wrecking the building in. which he transacts business. A DEFICIT MET. The goose whose eggs of gold were Was made slain. The tale our hearts must touch. But, luckily, the hen has laid A lot of eggs worth most as much. Washington Star. , |