Show wirt tW A minister in scotland reee rece recently lal iAl when his deacons hinted that he might hilm hiim preach three sermons on the sabbath alf said preach three sermons never that is an invention of beelzebub for cestr destroying y ng the effect of two good ones binl aling and klind klinn the minister josh rid rIA lings nga in treating of humorous lectures says i humor iz hybrid and iz lz a nice cross between sense and nonsense I 1 dont think it haz ever bin well defined denn ned it iz like the smell ov ova al flower hard to di I 1 hav known men tew tow tell 4 good storys and then spile them awl bitell ing one oni e poor one mutch ov a humorists sue suc success Cisi d depends ea upon the of his autence au jence a man who has the fust rate lanns lafis under protest but if biz dinner dinnin rides easy you kan kau tickle him with a h shovel I 1 I 1 humor sum suin times lurks in the way a thing iz lz ced cedy and i have seen man men who carried their thel r fun in the wrinkles ov their face nonsense aint humor it iz lz only a jest humor must have sum truth in it and a good deal dont hurt it I 1 kan steal a good philosophical lestur out ov sum library but these marou 9 hav so mutch original in the them m or ought to hav that you kant on them for certain they are like twins they kant be had nor they kant hant be stopped upon the whole az near az i 1 kan guess mi iz lz that humor iz a natural disease that a man kant ketch i nor kant gov tew tow enny boddy else people who are resolved always to please at all events frequently overshoot the mark A lady of thi this sort going to a friends house one morning ran to the cradle as soon as she came in to see the fine boy unfortunately the cat was occupying the but before she could discover her mis take she exclaimed with uplifted eyes and hands oh what what a sweet child the very picture of its nather father fat her A pretty girl says if our maker thought it wrong for adam to live single when there was not a woman upon the earth how criminally guilty are the old bachelors with the world worlo full of pretty girls 1 I dont miss my church so much as you suppose said a lady to her ter who had called upon her during her illness for I 1 make betsey sit at the window as soon as the bell begins to chime and tell me who are going to church and whether they have got anything new I 1 t the following definition of the rights of women is given in a vermont Ver montT to love her lord with all herr hervi raper eart earb and her baby as herself and to make good bread an irish waiter once complimented a salmon in the following manner faith falth its not hot two hours since that salmon was walking round his real estate wid his hands in his pockets never diaming what a pretty hed held have to jine you gentlemen at dinner charles lamb was sitting next a chatte chattering ring woma woman n at dinner who ob serving berving he attend to her said servin you dont ont seem to be at all the better for what I 1 am saying to you no maam replied lamb lamby I 1 but the gentleman on the other side of or me must for it all came in at one ear and went out at the other A gentleman saw a notice of kalua ble information sent to adv any address on the receipt of ten cents and ind thought that he must have ten cents worth more of knowledge he sent the sum a and d rece received ved in answer tha tho following friend for your ten cents postage ac please find advice which maybe mayde of great value coypu to you As malry many persons are I 1 injured I 1 for weeks months and years by the careless use of a knife I 1 therefore my advice is when you use a knife always whittle from you A SCION OF OP THE CHURCH churow the ithe first time I 1 took my eldest boy to church a ministers wife says when he was two years and a half old 71 1 I managed with caresses and frowns and nd candy to keep him very still till the thu sermon was half done by this time his hia patience was exhausted and lie he chimed on the seat looking at the preacher his his bis father quite intently then as if he had hit lift upon a certain j relief for his troubles he pulled me by the chin to attract my tv attention and exclaimed in a distinct voice ma make pa say amen aulen at 1 l |