d' d do GOOD o JOI S 4 HAPPY PAST TROUBLES 73 i ll i 1 1 tr h hJ J 1 1 dull I understand Brown Is making a lot lotof lotof lotof of money nowadays How did you get the tile Idea Hes started telling everybody about the struggles he had when he Easy To vex your neighbors every morn mornA morn mornA mornA A way la is quickly found Just buy yourself an auto horn With most unearthly sound Lost I What has become of that daughter of ot yours who went on the stage Mrs Maginnis we Inquired of our laun laun- dress Och wirra Och wirra wirra cried the poor woman bursting into tears We pore Biddy's anny more maam She married benn be- be nn th her She run rim off orr wit wan wan o o 0 thim lizards Iv the Smart Set Set Set- 1 Judge An Ulterior Motive The cabaret features of this restaurant restaurant restaurant res res- are rather elaborate I So they are are The management seems determined to entertain guests regardless of the cost Um Urn That mn may be the explanation but I suspect the vaudeville is designed to keep patrons from noticing the poor quality of the food served Just Half Enough My boy said the man of millions why is it that you cant can't pay your bills on an allowance of a year Well dad replied the gilded glided youth I presume presume- presume because a year ear contains twelve months instead of six six- Citing an E Exception Slow v but sure remarked ed the man with the quotation habit Is a good motto Yes In some cases rejoined the thoughtful thinker but there is at least one thing tiling that can never be slow but sure that queried the otherA otherA otherA other A watch replied reviled the t. t 11 t. t Crushing g Indifference You dont don't love me any more said young Mrs Dubson weeping copiously wrong my dear asked Mr Dubson anxiously What m kes you think I dont don't love you any moth more Last night I pretended to be talking talkIng talking talk- talk Ing in my sleep and you didn't l nt even stay awake to listen More Appropriate The One One And And the band played Yankee Boodle The Other You Other You mean It played Yankee Doodle dont don't you The One One One-No No I dont You see it happened at a political convention ADVICE TO NEWLYWEDS 1 fl e f o i We surprised our friends by getting married marrie Good enough Now surprise em by staying married Consoling Ills his Wife John Wife John dear did you get any consolation from the ministers minister's sermon Bermon this morning Her Husband Husban You Husband You You bet I did I was made to realize that I might be a n whole lot worse than I am nm Melodrama Is this what hat you OU would call a gripping gripping gripping grip grip- ping play Most assuredly The villain chokes the heroine and ami the hero chokes the villain off and on for nearly tree three hours AT THE RACES r Redd That nedd-That That fellow over there was just talking about the horses Do you know ow him Greene Greene Oh Oh yes well How do you ou know hes he's up on the ponies Why hes he's a college graduate that got to do with his knowing the ponies Why Yh hes he's a graduate of a veterinary veterinary vet vet- college Before and nd After My dear sai said Mrs to what she drew rew In the matrimonial lotter lottery lottery lot lot- ter tery what is the difference between idealism nn and realism i Idealism answered is what we exp experienced during our court court- ship Yes she gurgled and realism Oh he replied that is what we weare weare weare are up against at the present writing Whereupon the cat got up and left the room In disgust Actually Annoyed I fear Gadson lacks s poise pose Why Ive I've always thought him rather self Perhaps he Is under ordinary circumstances circumstances cir but I notice that when an Insistent young woman stops him on n a street corner and forces him to buy a n flag or a tag or a button he betrays a slight irritation Instead of or smiling In a beatific manner suitable to the occasion A Point Well Made Fathead Its It's a waste of time to argue argue ar ar- nr- nr gue with you shouted the Irascible man Youre an Inconsistent cuss What do you mean If you consider it a n waste of time timeto to argue with me why dont don't you turn loose my coat lapel and let me go on about my business HIS WIFE'S REASON IX 1 r 11 No I never give gl up m my seat sent In a n street car to women My wife wite wont won't permit it it Why not She says that If I offer a woman a seat shell she'll think Im I'm trying to flirt with her A Matter of Wills You may call a lawyer lazy And he may be so until He gets a will to work with with- Then he works with a will They Help Some Pop I 1 Yes my son What are theatrical angels Wh Why they are the ones who supply the money to support the company my mybo bo boy And are the kids In n the top gallery some of ot the angels pop Somewhat Different That aw That t-a t aw w-pwet w ty 11 little tUe sculptress I met I aw met at we- we evening turned me head doncher know Mrs Knox Knox Knox-In Knox Indeed Indeed eed I knew she had quite a reputation as a modeler In clay but I wasn't aware that she worked In wood A Last Resort In my opinion a man must be hal baud haid d up for tor some way to spend his idle Idie moments moments moments mo mo- ments when he sits down und and pla plays s 's sol sol- I agree with you lies lie's in the same class with the man who Is so lon lonely ly for somebody to talk to that he goes home and starts a u political argument with his bis wife Incredible That old gentleman who Just passed us Is a n connoisseur of ot pottery He owns worth of ot Jugs in the Jug jugs asked the man with an ever present thirst Why nothing Shucks 1 J I dont don't see how they could be wor worth that much if It they are empty ty So Paw Says Little Lemuel Say Lemuel-Say Say paw what Is an nn optimist Paw A Paw A baseball catcher is a fair example example ex ex- ample of what an optimist should be son He lIe always tries to take things as they come Memory Discipline I have decided remarked Senator Sorghum to train my memory What system will you use I 1 dont don't know Im I'm looking for one that will wm enable me when I am Interviewed interviewed Inter inter- viewed to remember what to forget torget