Winter Free Mediation Services Help Residents Work Out Disputes Having a dispute with a neighbor, landlord or a tenant that you can't resolve? Use mediation to work it out! The Multi-Cultural Legal Center is offering FREE mediation services to the residents of Glendale, Poplar Grove and Fair Park communities. What is Mediation? Mediation is a process in which two disputing parties get a neutral third party to assist them in resolving their dispute. The mediators have been trained to assist the disputing parties in identifying the issues, encouraging communication, and exploring possible solutions that will be satisfactory to both parties. Mediation presents an opportunity to peacefully express your conflict and to "hear each other out". Mediation can be an alternative to litigation, confrontation, tion, or even violence. Why use Mediation? 2002 Garden (continued from page 1) cation. involved If your with family has - the Sorenson been Multicultural Center or the Northwest What types of disputes can be mediated? Here are some examples: e Disputes with your neighbors: Multipurpose Center, chances are that noise, Market at Pioneer Park in the summertime. Space in this garden is currently available for people to grow their own harassment, disturbance, ani- mals, cars/parking, too many people living in a residence, property maintenance. ¢ Family Disputes: parent & child, visitation, custody, divorce, elder care. | ¢ Disputes with your landlord/tenant: payment of rent, noise, security deposits, repairs, damage. e Disputes or conflicts with groups or organizations. | Languages spoken by mediators include Spanish, Portugese, Farsi, Cantonese, Chinese and Japanese. destruc- your children have visited the Fairpark Garden. Roughly half of the produce that is grown there goes to the Farmers' produce. : In addition to operating our existing gardens, Wasatch Community Gardens also provides support to community members (including schools), to start new gardens. Across the nation, communities have shared growing space to beautify their neighborhoods, reduce crime, bring people together and sup- ply fresh, chemical-free produce for family and friends. As more and more of our open lands are used for housing, streets and parking lots, community gardens provide a much needed oasis of green in the sea of concrete and asphalt. Winter is a great time to start plan- Mediation allows a quick, inexpensive solution to a dispute, allows you ning your spring garden. If you are interested in becoming a community to determine the outcome, and is con- gardener, please give me a call at the fidential. Mediated settlements are more likely to be collected, more likely to solve the problem, and can help you preserve your relationship with someone you need to continue dealing with either personally or professionally, for example a neighbor, or a landlord WCG office: 359-2658. If you would like to start a garden in your neighborhood, we would be happy to send you a packet of information to help you get the ball rolling. I look forward to hearing from you. Happy gardening! # Ginger Ogilvie is the Community Gardening Coordinator for Wasatch Community Gardens or tenant. Help Your Kids (continued from page 1) to guide their young adults through the often-turbulent waters of their teenage years. Developing more socially responsible young adults generally requires the fol- lowing: setting limits on behavior, modeling positive behaviors, providing a loving and nurturing atmosphere, discussing family issues in a fair and nonthreatening environment, and helping the child develop a sense of empathy for others. Self-control develops gradually throughout childhood, guided by parents who set boundaries and give feedback. Parents who employ negotiation rather than physical force often find they can gain a child's comphance more easily. During the transition to self-control, parents must enforce limits for situations that the child has not yet developed the skills to handle. Parents of young children can find many opportunities throughout each day when short values lessons can be taught or discussions can be initiated about situations the child and parent have witnessed. Very young children are especially receptive to this sort of teaching and parents shouldn't miss out on these opportunities. The well-adjusted, socially responsible adult most often also has a strong sense of self. Self-esteem 1s nurtured by encouraging a child's individuality while setting limits for the child and providing the child with positive feedback that clearly lets him know his parents accept The West View page 3 == him unconditionally. Parents who try to find ways to provide honest praise for the positive things their kids do - even complementing them on their friendly smile or their cheerfulness when they first get up in the morning - greatly enhances a child's self image. Children realize that their parents value them when parents make the extra effort to explain why certain behaviors are not acceptable and other behaviors should be cultivated. Parents should also try to assist children in deciding for themselves which behaviors are more desirable. The standards of behavior that parents expect from the child must eventually become a part of the child's sense of conscience. A parenting style that focuses on open and effective communication as well as firm limits and standards tends to produce adults that are more capable of moral reasoning. Parenting styles that are very permissive, and parenting styles that control with rigid rules and punishment (where parents are unwilling to allow children to guestion or discuss the rules) often result in discouraged parents and young adults who can't cope well with adult expectations in the real world. Kids at-risk to become gang members often come from homes where punishment is neither consistent nor effective and/or where one or both parents have a criminal history. Violent gang members frequently express the belief that they don't expect to live beyond the age of 25. Faced with hopelessness for the future they may give in to their desires for quick wealth and recognition from their fellow gang members. When discussing issues with your children try using open-ended questions that require more than one-word answers. Try to get kids to talk as much as possible and remember to really listen to their answers. It may be more effective to act as a consultant to teenagers. Try giving them more leeway in making choices and in advising them of the consequences involved in making certain choices. The following guidelines help many parents keep their kids on track: ¢ Give your children structure and consistency. ¢ Provide them with choices. ¢ Help them see the consequences of their actions. ¢ Model the kinds of behavior you want to see in your children. ¢ Help your kids set meaningful but attainable goals. ¢ Discuss the benefits of good behaviors with your children. ¢ Let them know you respect them. Children should show respect to their parents, and parents, in turn, should show respect to their children. However, the parents, themselves, need to model these traits. Children learn how to treat others by watching the way their parents deal with other people. Being a good parent means being in touch with your own emotions and reactions. You can't expect to control your child's behavior if you can't control your own, + Provided by the Salt Lake Area Gang Projects “The Informant”, Spring 2002. Young voluntee fruits of her labor.