Show Pate Four TOE CARBONICLE ’Twos the Night of Election (Editor’s note: The following is a parody to the poem " Twas the Night Before Christmas” This was written by Mary Helen Bunnell and given by Merlene Powell in last Wednesday’s assembly in honor of those who worked so diligently for Carbon College) Twas the night of election when all through the state Not a creature was stirring though it still wasn't late The ballots were placed in the boxes with care In hopes that the counters soon would be there The students were nestled all snug in their beds While visions of Senate bills danced through their heads ”Doc” Jones in his office and Lee in his chair Had just settled down to see how they’d fare When over the radio there arose such a clatter I turned to the station to see what was the matter Then I turned up the volume as quick as a flash All the noise now was ended with a bang and a crash The music was playing so sweetly and slow I thought for a moment it couldn’t be so When what to my wondering ears should I hear But a radio announcer who was hiding a cheer With a sweet sounding voice which was lively and quick— I knew in a moment he’d announce we were licked More rapid than eagles his annouccment he gave “It looks like people your college you’ll save” Now Carbon now Dixie now Weber and Snow On students on teachers it’s forward we’ll go To the top of old Gibby — to the top of the hall Now stay away stay away stay away all And leave us alone and we'll surely get by To kill us again I don’t think you will try Cause up from the house tops our cries you have heard With a sleigh of thoughts and a strong spoken word And then in a twinkling we lashed at your plea To save a few pennies for Governor Lee So we drew back our heads and started to fight Down the chimney we came with what we knew was right We were dressed all in armor from our head to our feet Never at all did we say we were beat Our bundle of tricks we had flung on our backs When we needed some help we would turn to our packs Our eyes how they twinkled! Our voices how loud! Our cheeks were like roses Oh my we were proud! Our lips and our tongues they were never to cease As the voters who'd helped us we worked to increase The roots of the school we held tight in our teeth And the issue encircled the state like a wreath We had a big job which we never did shirk We made the state shake when we started to work The election is over — it's all in the bag We’ll not be discarded like any old rag With a wink of the eye and a twist of the head We hope it's forgotten all that's been said Though we've said lots of words that came straight from Friday November 5 1954 A Cynic's A Pretty Ticklish Situation: Due to conditions beyond the Carbonicle’s control the Cynic suffering from a terrible attack of rash will have to scratch for this column Will It Be a Hit or a Misst The Cynic’s choice for No One on the Hit Parade is this little ditty: I'm in love with the mechanical man I'm in love with the mechanical man My old boy friend scoffed ’Cause I turned him on and can’t turn him off Gears gears what a mesh I'm in Would sing the rest but I’d just be going from bad The Poor Man’s Bob Hope: Rudy Politano has the nagging suspicion that Wes Larsen’s sense of humor ain't what it oughta be Rudy handed in a test paper upon which was scribbled "Only God knows these answers” Wes returned the test Directly below Rudy's caustic comment was written "God gets an A You flunk!” Doses of Dis and Data: We learn in orientation class that everything in life has a purpose—Mosquitoes I suppose to show us how easy it is to get stung These girls who complain that their boy friends make them tired should stop running after them The Cynic never knew before that high heels were invented by a girl who was kissed on the forehead Item from the "Idiot Box” Heard on television last week that Libcracc is getting married the heart There were many that hurt like the sting of a dart So better we honor our opponents this day For two sides to a story is the American way So let’s rise to the moment and offer a hand To Lee and his friends all over the land They’re welcome to come and visit all right All hatred is gone Our future is bright! Soliloquy Sure hope it works out Can’t you just imagine the battle there would be— if a divorce ever came up— over custody of George T Touche! Ches Allred’s at odds with the law Caught speeding last week he was hauled up before the judge The judge reprimanded him sternly saying “Have you ever been up before me?” "I don’t know” Ches replied "How early do you get up?” Just One Morgue for the Road: Dick Mitchell of Mitchell’s Mortuary says that the only annoying aspect of his job is the smart alecks who keep pestering him for empty boxes Carbon Defeat Fort Lewis COCA-COL- A PRICE BOTTLING Co WE WOULD LIKE TO EXPRESS OUR GRATITUDE AND THANKS TO THOSE WHO SPENT THEIR TIME AND MONEY TO SAVE OUR COLLEGE Price Floral Shop Something That’s Always Sparkling Like Carbon Spirit is HOME-MAD- E the FROSTED ROOT BEER at the Milky Way §ln©p |