Show THE KEEPAPITCHININ 50 dm the liquor and the water till all was also understand that several have since been compelled to A SEMI MONTHLY PAPER' swear in presence of the authorities Some 1‘cvolcd to Cents Scents Sense nnd Nonsense became quite tragic in their declamations on th1 occasion Oie man seized a bottle UNO HOCb Principal Editor of old rye and striking an attitude exDeputy Asst EditorUBET URLIFE claimed “ Down perturbed spirit down! B I Z Ness Dep’y Asst’s Clerk and down it went Another excited indi- our in his himself vidual wore almot TERMS: Per Annum in Advance Si 50 to iverr the current attempts Six Months 1 00 into a large tan vat while still another who 10 Single Copies had drunk into the spirit perhaps too CLUB RATES: l'ive Copies to one address $ 500 freely likened the pit of fire and brimTen Copies to One Address and one The stone to the pit of his stomach to the clubber 1000 in times times Rum out of are joint 45® For sale by all respectable Newsdealer As France and Whiskey times here everywhere our fr end Job the astrologer would say Mars has couie in contact with the great ADVERTISEMENTS bear and the dra on's tail is passing Owin to the limited space devoted to Advertising we shall be under the necessity of restrict through the fifth house blue officers ’ ing Advertisements to TEN lines or Terms each insertion fifty cents a line 4?® ess AH Communications on Business in order attention must be address d— UNO Co Box D Salt Lake City to receive Hoo & THURSDAY - - - SEPT 1 1870 72DXTORIAE In another column will be found a detailed account of a spirited affair which took We can’t place in this city on Saturday say that we approve of such things unless We did not we are notified in advance succeed in securing a solitary drop for our hands and our editorial bucket is entirely There was considerable grunting empty when the Hogsheads were being smashed in our reporter says (he was on the spot throughout and remained to see the last of it in order that he might bring in a He says there is a remarkfull report) able oneness of feeling manifested by the folks of the 13th Ward They are all determined to keep their ditches clean from this time henceforth and there is a good deal of hoeing and scraping going on We would advise them not to pursue this course too far It is possible to overdo it We remember hearing of a lady who scrubbed her floor until she f through into the cellar A word to tv: The people in the lower pan wise etc of the city had an impression that liquor wa3 coming down and Jones says he never saw such a flow of the spirit since he joined the New Move The agency of strong drink in producing profanity was There never more plainly exemplified was considerable darning by the citizens who even descended into the ditches to WOMEN S RIGHTS We THE rt R It will be Mr Snodgrass being pressed by the ladie after the usual preliminary statement that he was utterly unprepared — did not anticip do eing (tailed upon etc produced his neatly folded speech from a side pocket and lifting up his voice remarked as follows: “Sisters and Fellow Citizenesses: All men and all women — created free and equal” (’ries of “That’s so” from the ladies) “Yes all were created equal but didn’t stay so longer’n you could say skat The woman always look the lead and always will” (“You bet your life”) “Who led off in the garden of Kd n and made Adam eat the apple? The woman” (“Hear hear!”) got ahend of John the Baptist on a ch A woman” (“You’re mighty right”) ‘Who clipped the strength of the old Hercules Sampson and made him as weak as a kitten? A woman” (“That’s so ”) “Yes that’s so and who is the best looking?” (Cries of “The woman”) “Yes she’s the best looking It there is an ugly woman by long odds present in this Assembly let her signify it by raising her rig tit hand! No hands It’ a clear voie (Cheers) We never saw an ugly woman in our lif — present (Profound silence) company excepted As examples of illustrious women look at tbe good Q uetn Bess” (“Hear hear ”) and look at Martha who whaled Washington till he durn't lie to save his soul Look at the mother of Franklin who started him after a streak of lightning with four loaves of bread under his arm look at Cleopatra and Mother Hubbard and Culimn and Cragin” (Prolonged and uproarious applause during which Mr Snodgrass sat down and wiped the perspiration from his noble brow with his coat tail) were “ho seen from our dispatches that the war is still progressing belligerently We suppo e eVe this judging from reports that the French have captured Paris and the Prussians still hold Berlin e have learned of the capture of Nancy but have heard nought concerning the Lady of Lyons The dispatches are silent in regard to the conflict between Bismarck We were and Alexander the Great asked by a gentlema just after reading the last telegrams whether the present We told was Napoleon the 1st or 2d him yes we had every reason to believe so from the tenor of the dispatches The numbers of the slightly killed and morThe Emtally missing are va cumulating HE following is translated from an old peror of France is still rushing recklessly into the stream of carnage (leading his manuscript found floating in an old candle little boy by the hand) and shouting in sten- box off the coat ot Patagonia: torian tones il Blood! logo blood!" SINGULAR SPIRITUAL MAXI TESTATION OX Jl SOUTH STREET HORRIBLE STATE or AFFAIRS UTAH! Salt Lnhe Oily Taken!! they don’t purpose rying it off at present We understand THE MAX mus he ex the shoe This is the “One i car- POWER AT WORK AGAIN!!! ’ I cils IX “I can call spirits from the vasty deep” — Spoct shave — “Try the spirits’’ St Paul patches informs us that 'the horrible and riotous y aons in Salt Lake City xtldly in and arrested Aldermen CounHe de fell swoop tshisnamo when breast me to )dir evidence of “Now it came to pass that a certain man of the Pharisees named Kngelbrite the same being a publican and a sinner wus grievously afflicted with evil spirits yea insomuch that his habitation was infested by them and none did enter therein but they were overpowered by them insorn'ch that they did reel to and fro like unto drunken men Now it came to pass that a murmur arose among the people and they said ‘Is there no power in one to another Israel that can bind this son of Belial? Now when this came to the ears of Jeter the chief judge he straightway gat him If to the house of the chief scribe one Zerubbabel man exceeding cunning in the Jaw and they did confer one with the other and they did call upon one Hide s- |