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Show www.treewillastrology.com By Rob Brezsny Aries (March 21-April 19) My mom bequeathed to mea set of impeccable social instincts, the fun‘damental rule of which is: Never go on-any self, are on record warning of the dangers of alternative spiritual practices. An Australian named Father Luke Joseph spoke for many when adventure where you're the most interesting per- he told his flock that they risked eternal damna- son. Blessed by my innate drive to remain enter- tion if they dabbled with meditation, yoga or aromatherapy. And yet [say unto you Librans, in my capacity as Archdruid of the Flaming Jewel Church of Educated Rapture, that you will risk at least temporary damnation inthe ¢ oming weeks if you do nol mess around with experimental approaches to divine communion like meditation, ritual, ecstatic prayer, sacred dancing and extremely pragmatic displays of compassion. tained at all costs, ’'ve developed a fondness for going to parties where Pm the least interesting person. It’s humbling and nerve-wracking, but highly educational. I recommend this practice to right now. It’s be a know-it-all moment: you do, place at the Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) I know Scorpios who provoke the very worst in people; IT know Scorpios who bring out the very best. Lately, though, many of you who provoke the worst have been acting more like those who bring out the best. And you who habitually elicit the best have Taurus (April 20-May 20) [think I’m falling in love with the way you're falling in love with possibilities you've always denied yourself before. My own sleeping urges are stirring as I see you fighting to unleash your dormant passions. Oh baby. Keep it up. Don't stop. I get chills whenever I hear you thinking, “I’m finally ready to go after the fantasies ve been-afraid to want. And I’m actually willing to change myself.if itll give me — the power to make those fantasies real.” been doing an even finer job than tsual of drawing out the talents and resources of your collaborators. All my astrological instincts tell me that this is more than a passing trend. I predict that in the months ahead, the majority of your tribe will discover even deeper secrets of symbiosis and synergy, The really tasty developments will begin late this year or early next: Your allies will be » inspired to help youwas Hou ‘ve never been helped Gemini (May 21-June 20) Tune in to the part of your body you're most at odds with. The placei i your anatomy that bugs you or hurts you or makes you mad. | believe it’s time to work on your relationship with this alienated portion of your sacred temple. First thing I’d like you to do ‘befor e. ! Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) In honor of your new power over yourself, I’d like'to reward you with a host of fresh titles. With deep appreciation, Thereby name you Senior Vice President of is write a letter to it. Pm serious. Start with “Dear Nose” or “Dear Butt” or “Dear Belly.” Tellit exactly how you feel about it and why. Don’t censor any of your tortured feelings. Wait two days Visionary Horse Sense. From-now on you shall time. Give it your blessings. Profess yout love. No matter-what discomfort.or shame or incon-~ venience this part of your body has caused, Say. to-it with sincere ue = ee you,” Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Im not the id of Chicas tune 21- ay 22) The left- Br airihiati astrologer who would issue an irresponsible — its peak, the north brain is the generator of highquality bullshit—some of which may be sort of _. true and some of which may be sort of false, but all of which extricates you from the logical — in place. The south brain, at its best, frees:-you from your inhibitions with graceful precision, allowing you to become wild and unpredictable. in socially-effective ways. I'm bringing this up,. Cancerian, because your access to both your north and south brains has never been greater than it. is now. command like “Quit your job and find a better . one.” Nor would | ever make a prestumptuous prophecy like.“You will soon change careers.” My style is to suggest that planetary rhythms i in the coming months will conspire. with you to rein-~ vent your relationship to work. To the degree that you.bust your butt trying to find the most supremely enjoyable way to bust your butt, so will you be rewarded with upgrades in your job— including unexpected plums, pearls and perks.-To rev up your imagination, maybe you'd like to read Job Finder's Guide 2000, by Les Krantz. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) You can bulldoze hills this week, Leo, but you can’t relocate mountains. Keep that law in mind as you study the following. fora Garr 20- Feb. 18) The 18th- century slave. trader John Newton-had.a wrenching epiphany en. route to America with a load of kidnapped =~ humans, God shouted, “Wake up, fool!” Newton. turned his ship around, sailed back to Africa, and corollaries. You'll be rewarded freed his captives. To honor his metamorphosis, for a touch of sen-— silive voraciousness but dissed for crass displays of raw greed: Being a feisty catalyst will attract new allies, but acting like a smart-ass control freak will bring fresh adversaries. Luck won't: win you the lottery, but it could help you seize a hardearned new privilege. In conclusion, dear, avoid all-or-nothing delusions and bee ome a crafty maestro of nuance, - | Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) I’m a pretty cheerful person, but I-do get upset about the undertone of melancholy you perpetually carry around. Nothing I say in my horoscopes seems to convince you to give it up. You cling to it tenaciously, as if it were a treasure you couldn't live without. Oh well. Maybe your brooding serves a holy purpose T can’t discern. But even if that’s true, I can't believe you need so damn much of it. Look, Virgo, I'll make you adeal. Find a way to leach 50 percent of that sadness out of your psyche, and Cll show you a kind of optimism that does not diminish but actually enhances your critical thinking skills. (PS. Please note that Pim not asking you to tttrn into a New Age bliss-ninny. 1 freely acknowledge that holding a reserve of mournful doubt is healthy.) : ; Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) A growing number of fundamentalist ministers, as well as the Pope him- he wrote the stirring hymn, “Amazing Grace.” L. Krank Bauinis another study in radical reformation. Early in his career, while working asa newspaper editor, he called for the extermination of Native Americans. Later he mellowed. The books he wrote about a magical kingdom, beginning with The Wizard of Oz, are cele Berens. of cultural diversity. ‘The redemption that’s now available to you, Aquarius, is not as dramatic as it was for those two men; your blindness is not as profound. Still, itll be a thrill to witness the conversion of your deepest, darkest ignorance. aon ae wT be lovable.@ oe WE CARRY A COMPLETE LINE OF. Set ot tsa er ane cus ete pant AA Vitamins « Minerals * Food Supplements Herbs * Sports Nutrition # Diet Aids - Hair, Skin& Personal Care Products Aromatherapy Oils * Books and More! “Ye RaLNeg seas a @S@eoeeeSCeCe Factory Stores Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) | will not be responsible for the hearts you inflame in the next four weeks, Pisees. Nor will ] accept any blame for the pajamas you rip, the soft underbellies you lay bare or the bottom lines you spank. Furthermore, I won't provide a single excuse for the Freudian theories you disprove, the reverse psychologies you spawn, the nervous divers you send plunging off the deep end, or the outrageous gossip you — provoke. [do plan, however, to be highky entertained by your exploits. And [will regularly pray to the Goddess of Sweetly. Messy Fun, asking her to ensure that all the-uproars you galvanize will r— es a XK el with ct fe (en ahr - scout Sire St aksees acy La Mh FCeseeecea ee eoeoaooeoscae Cee eseeeooeeeaoeeoaoseeeeoeee Factory Stores at Park City Shoppes at Trolley Square Of America Riverwoods Salt Lake City, UT Draper, UT Park City, UT Provo, UT (801) 531-7834 (435) 940-1479 (80.1) 426-8226 Located near Brooks Brothers Located between Teriyaki and Tuscanos Located on the top floor, near Rodizio Grill (801) 523-8341 located on the south side of the mall near Wallet World eee, WWW.Vitaminworld.com) QUALITY VITAMINS DIRECT FROMTHE MANUFACTURER OF THE Pcad brain controversy is passe. All the action these days is in north-brain/south-brain research, which is my area of expertise. When it’s functioning at rationalizations that have frozen your problenis ~ also be known as the Deputy Director of Green Lights and Purple Hearts. Consider yourself, as. well, to be the new Puzzle-Master Supreme, “Chief Custodian. of Secret Weapons, and Field z Commander of Free Lunches and Poetie “Licenses, Congratulations, DOSS: 8.3 love letter this ey [0002 ‘vl YIGWALdSS | ES and then write another missive—a Wt, everyone, and especially to you downright hazardous for you to these days. Yawn not, Aries! The you'll know you're in the wrong wrong time.. |