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Show ' 'S - THE MODERN DRAMA. Virtue, the Hero and Heroine, Get There Every Time. Who has not seen a modern sensational drama ? How smoothly each act develops the moral that virtue must triumph though the heavens fall ! As a general rule the average drama nowadays is as follows: " r In act one we find the hero has on former day3 fed the heroine's papa ori home-made custard pies, from the effects of which he dies. The heroine conies on the stage and says she is the "daughter of a West Indies slave-owner, who was dis possessed of his fortune by a habeas corpus, and dies with the words on his lips, 'I have an only daughter. , She was all in this world to me. Some day I will come back again te thee and prove thy birthright.'" The villain enters, calls heroine servant girl a St. Vitus dervish, and carries her off to his Castle Curr. In act second hero is found in his poor lodgings, supping off a cold potato, pluck and indifference is his hard lot. In the next room is Castle Curr. Villain enters and drags heroine in bv the hair and delivers her over to his fifth wife. . Fifth wife vows she will make "mince meat or sausage of heroine. A tramp, to whom the villain said, "Ha! Ha!" one day, sets fire to the house, and the heroine frees herself of her chains and rescues hero, who has been overcome by his hunger and the smoke. Villain is absent during the fire scene., 13 probably down town cutting throats or telegraphing for the fire department. In the third act we find hero and heroine in the villain's garden, vowing love for evermore. Kisses, shv, cov, giddy blushes and maidenly goodness of heart are clearly exhibited. Turn, turn, j music. Enter a band of French soldiers, who, while journeying across America on a pleasure trip, discover that hero is a deserting Italian steward and come to capture him or die. Rather than be taken for an Italian steward or a prisoner, hero throws heroine across his shoulders, jumps into a skiff, rows to a deserted island, jumps on a trusty horse and escapes. French soldiers group themselves them-selves into picturesque attitudes, draw their pistols and intently watch the hero and heroine escape. , lhe fourth act finds hero and heroine on a desert island. Cannibals, led ants, fire-bugs, red demons of the far west and cyclones are as thick as mustard plasters. Ship is built by hero in less than fifteen minutes and hero and heroine, accompanied accom-panied by their trusted servant Golly-gobby, Golly-gobby, set sail for sea. Are finished up by villain, who shakes birthright papers of heroine in hero's face. Hero smacks the overbearing villain in the mouth. More turn-turn music. The fifth and last act opens. Hero has returned to.native home, accompanied by heroine, her mother-in-law and eighteen relatives. Hero discovers a barrel of silver sil-ver dollars in a cave. Asks heroine tn marry him. She- cries. . Hero asks why-fore. why-fore. Heroine says : "You fed mv papa custard pie." "Hero says: "I couldn't help it. He would eat it." Bing, bang, uxjuiu; music in a nai. Ji,nter villain; says: "Ha! Ha!" Enter a constable accompanied by two supes who arrest villain for forging two checks, committing argon and burglary, murdering his first four wives, holding a Republican office j under a Democratic administration, neglect of minor children, disorderly conduct con-duct and suspicious person. . Tingi ting music. Slow curtain. Villain in chains and prison. Red lights. . Hero embraces heroine, who says: "I have an only daughter. vShe was all this world to me. Some day I will come back again to thee and prove thy birthright." Gas is turned out, audience disperses and small boy says to his companions "I say, Jiramie, did yez see the hero smack ther villin inther neck?" |
