Show 0 u Dear I Love Curling By Shiloh Winder Staff Writer Write The throngs of fans of this column column column col col- col- col have become accustomed over this school year to reading opinions here which are often critical Normally I choose subjects subjects subjects sub sub- with which I have some gripe to base my remarks on Such is not the case this week With the Olympics nearly upon us I am overcome with gratitude for some special 4 people whom I would like to use this forum to thank Consider c. c this weeks week's column an open let let- ter An open letter from one poor athlete to a large group of poor athletes Dear Thank you You have no idea what this means to me As a young boy I watched the Olympics an and dreamed the all- all too-common too dream of one day competing on the worlds world's largest athletic stage Hoping to be part of r i the passion the competitive spirit spir- spir J s it and the unrelenting drive for both bribes and excellence that characterize the J Olympic games What sweeter dream could a 4 f. f youngster have than to compete K for his country and bring home t the h ego gold ld Sadly as I grew older I realized that I was too we weak k slow and uncoordinated to play sports at even the high school i a k ka a ta r s a i. w w P 29 2 J v N 0 v 00 00 T I V 8 i a i 9 Nm 0 1 VM w v t. 0 v t w A Aili nn 40 4 1 t x tt lw nv D t fi e r. r j mI i j r 4 hf dO Vr V 4 f t Canadas Canada's Mike Harris in competition WI with th the United States photo courtesy of level and I went to Woods Cross My dreams of Olympic glory began to fade However in 1992 you were so kind as to add table tennis of all things to the list of events is Darts next lighting again the fire of my lifelong lifelong lifelong life life- long hope But the flame was doused when I saw the dominant Chinese Team c compete I quickly quick quick- ly learned where the sport got the name Ping Westerners need not apply Then in 1996 you the Worlds World's highest international J sports authority rec recognized ba ballroom ballroom ball ball- l- l room dancing yes ballroom dancing as an official Olympic event I wasn't sure how one could compete while at the same time be ballroom dancing but I sure couldn't see any athletic ability involved to prevent me from joining the team J Alas upon further b- b y inspection I 1 realized that the uniforms uniforms uni uni- uni- uni forms worn by the male dancers were flamboyant well lets let's just say they were flamboyant like male figure skating uniforms That ambition dashed I had completely lost hope I was never never again to aspire to world i. i class International Competition But now you have done this This year at the 2002 Winter Games actual real com com- pare-em pare to what Ray Lewis is wearing around his neck if you dont don't believe me Gold Silver and Bronze medals will be awarded for the Curling event Now the Olympic Games are truly no longer exclusive to athletes Now there is Curling Ive I've seen it done on tel tel- Its It's just a couple of people people people peo peo- sweeping ice with I dont don't mini knoW mini I 1 guess And theres there's this fake rock made made- of acrylic that you sweep the ice in front of while it glides along Eventually the fake rock stops that's about it I Iguess Iguess Iguess guess after that you just smile and wave during the National Anthem at the Medal Ceremony and then laugh all the way to the Pawn Shop Now I am no Joe but I am willing to boldly guarantee a medal for any Olympic Curling Team I am a apart apart apart part of I offer this guarantee in light of the fact that there are three medals available and only two known nations who participate participate participate pate in the pastime of Curling Canada and Scotland While it is doubtful the US U.S. Team which I assume consists consists consists con con- of whoever happens to show up the day of the event will overtake these two curling powers But unless Canada brings a JV N team and generous contributions to the should insure that they wont won't I see no reason why the random Americans who show up at the Weber Ice Sheet next month wont won't outnumber the random random random ran ran- dom people who show up from any other country and win that Bronze So on behalf of all the unathletic sports nuts of the world my thanks to you the for bringing Curling to center center center cen cen- ter stage and for only charging me a new per committee member to do it itA |