Show A Hole in My Soul Guys and Wedding Planning Just Dont Don't Mix By Nathan Nelson Editorial Editor Planning a wedding is a long process It encompasses more details and demands more time than any couple could guess when they get engaged Other incidental and sometimes sometimes sometimes some some- times unexpected side effects show up as well Over the course of scheduling scheduling scheduling sched sched- my own Im I'm starting to understand understand understand under under- stand an old lesson that has been taught millions of times but bears repeating weddings have nothing to todo todo todo do with the groom Its It's interesting because the day is intended to be a celebration of two people starting a new life together but one of those two parties is a non- non factor To her credit my fiancee Amy does her best to involve me but its it's like putting a square peg in a around around around round hole Its It's just not an event designed around the interests of guys Anyway at the beginning of our six-month six engagement I committed to being an involved helpful sensitive sensitive sensitive tive guy of the not like some deadbeat groom that does nothing However despite espite my best efforts I have come to recognize that the Women's Wedding Preparation Force is far more powerful than I expected In short I have been flattened by the impressive showing of estrogen Heres Here's a great example I was sitting sitting sitting sit sit- ting with some of the women of the family discussing the flowers for our nuptials Remembering my vow to share the burden of planning I did my best to maintain concentration The decision on the table was whether WE wanted Bachelors Bachelor's Buttons or Baby's Breath as an accent for the bouquets Feeling important I put my two cents in for forthe forthe forthe the Baby's Breath Then to my surprise surprise surprise sur sur- prise all three turned to look at me as asif asif asif if I had just squashed a fly by slapping slapping slapping slap slap- ping it against my face Not a word was spoken to me all merely turned back and simultaneously agreed on Bachelors Bachelor's Buttons Needless to say it didn't exactly make me fall over myself to voice another opinion Now nobody was looking to tomake tomake tomake make me feel insignificant it was just one of those cases where a man tries to invade Women's Exclusive Turf My fathers father's advice was timeless timeless timeless time time- less Just be quiet and dont don't give your opinion unless its it's asked for I dont don't mean to imply that my thoughts and ideas are unimportant its it's just that they're way down the wedding totem pole Any choice of mine is easily overruled by any or all of the following the bride the brides bride's mother the grooms groom's mother the wedding coordinator the florist the caterer the maid of honor the hairdresser the seamstress and the lady at the reservation counter Basically my only job is to show up at the wedding and try not to embarrass embarrass embarrass embar embar- rass anyone None of this should come as a surprise to anyone so why even bring it up Because the whole subject subject subject sub sub- demonstrates a cultural cracy That is gender lines are blurring blurring blurring blur blur- ring were we're starting to relate to one another on the same level but some traditions are hard to let go of Take magazines for example There are several publications named something to the effect of Bride or Brides World Most stereotypical women's magazines will have a section section section sec sec- tion on weddings as well In contrast contrast contrast con con- there is no marriage etiquette in Sports Illustrated Any reading material named Groom would likely likely likely like like- ly be about trimming your dog Wedding showers also fit the pat pat- tern Showers of course are traditionally traditionally traditionally for women and bachelors bachelor's parties for the men No matter how enlightened and liberated we proclaim proclaim proclaim pro pro- claim to be nobody wants to incorporate incorporate incorporate both into a unisex celebration I The idea of a wedding has become more difficult to define Some couples want a typical wedding wedding wedding wed wed- ding some dont Some couples get married in some sort of a church some prefer a nature setting Some couples because of sexual preferences preferences preferences prefer prefer- cant can't legally marry some dont don't even want to But a strong section of the population population j lation still values the traditions and j standards that are prevalent in our culture Its It's important to protect the 1 rights of the minority vote we A shouldn't sacrifice a majority choice to accomplish the task If we as a culture are to respect all walks of life that should include preserving tradition for those who treasure it Besides what guy in his right mind wants to go to a bridal shower anyway |