| Show Class Descriptions for the Aggressive By Student Chris ris Wentworth i I A Y i 4 xH l i As I rummage through still another quarters' quarters schedule of classes I become amazed at the handsome appearance and beautifully beautifully beautifully beau beau- arranged descriptions that seem to lure me to register for every class possible Sometimes in this state of mind I fall into the habit of browsing through my myown myown myown own little imaginary course bulletin bulletin bulletin bul bul- bul- bul letin which after all is more or orless orless orless less typical of them allIve allIve allIve all Ive I've given you my interpretation tion of your horoscope remember remember remember ber I trust youre you're still healthy anyway Well Well- heres here's my minds' minds eye of class descriptions for spring quarter They might enhance enhance enhance en en- hance your ability to grasp your true destiny so READ ON SPRING SESSION BUS Accounting-BUS A systematic systematic systematic application and evaluation evaluation evaluation tion of business theory with emphasis on money and why its it's good Cost and supply y curves lemonade stands an and their im impact ith- ith pact on the American Economy learning to blow your wad on something completely useless and still be satisfied making change from a dollar and keeping keeping keeping keep keep- ing a neat wallet make up the bulk of the course Introduction to Loan Sharking and Embezzlement will also be explored explored explored ex ex- ex- ex with a field trip to Mer- Mer rill-Lynch's rill Bull Farm as an added bonus Prerequisites Elem Dirty Dealing Shortchanging Shortchanging Shortchanging Short Short- changing Architectural Drafting Technology Technology Technology Tech Tech- ADT Answers the question How did Rome burn its it's stone Basic theory of forces forces forces for for- ces history and obvious blunders blunders blunders blun blun- ders in the field of Architecture How to underestimate the time of completion and overestimate your own abilities Tables and why hes he's unquestionably ably perverted Interior Design and where to put the toilets is discussed Diplomacy 1 Attendance at Towering Inferno and Earthquake Earthquake Earthquake Earth quake highly recommended Nursing Program- Program Emphasis on medical terminology ogy and what Docs Dots really saying to you Say What Development of fundamental skills such as Human Pin cush How to make the bedpan unbearably cold the fascination of enemas and other basic abuses to the patient including wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheel wheel- chair racing and successful hepatitis hepatitis hepatitis hepa hepa- titis transfusions Lengthy discussions discussions discussions dis dis- dis- dis on the correct procedure as demonstrated in General Hospital minimum soap opera time 25 hours Buzzer Answering 33 Thermometer jabbing 45 Auto Mechanics- Mechanics AM Theory Theory Theory The The- ory and function of the Automobile Automobile Automo Automo- Automobile bile including where to look for forthe forthe forthe the ignition engine wheels etc and put them together in a manner so movement is to be ob ob- Students required to purchase purchase purchase pur pur- chase their own tools greasy overalls and beer Troubleshooting Troubleshooting Troubleshooting Trouble Trouble- shooting a GO-Cart GO fancy talk to BS all lady customers into thinking theres there's something really wrong with their car worn parts and general tire inflation techniques provide the i groundwork for the complete mechanic Basic Tomfoolery Tomfoolery Tomfoolery Tom Tom- foolery 3 Advanced up Pin-up Placement 69 Barbering Cosmetology Basic butchery and maintenance of substandard theory and application application application cation in all instances Review of burial rites for previous customers customers custo custo- customers mers Artery clamp usage and general floor up clean-up sized Hot comb techniques to electrocute introduced also Tri- Tri style-iron style and study of conversations to keep your victim completely bored will be discussed No Electronic Technology- Technology Advanced BS exploring the fact that both and Norton were institutionalized Basic theory of DC D.C. and AC and just how they affect the unmotivated unmotivated unmotivated Giggling in Caribou Principles Principles Principles Prin Prin- in microwave analysis and just lust how that cute little oven you bought ought enables your wife to burn supper much faster now Sparks 90 Calculator 20 21 Executive Secretary- Secretary Proficiency Proficiency Pro Pro- Proficiency in Boss Dodging stressed Alternate subjects included included included in in- Planned Parenthood coffee break 34 office partying buttering up 14 and submission submission submission sub sub- mission for a raise ft 66 High school Track Karate and Filing up Screw-up 56 good luck sweetheart Commercial Art- Art CA The study of art studios models and their importance to your sex life advanced doodling grafitti printout printout printout print print- out and obscenity write-ups write to go with cartooning The best in false advertising layouts promotional lies and slander stressing design design design de de- de- de sign and technique silkscreen ups mess-ups and exploration of total total total to to- tal incompetency to prepare you for your place in the world of art chucking Chalk-chucking Erasing 30 Data Processing- Processing DP programming and concepts with emphasis on folding spindling and general mutilation Training in COBOL language Talk to the computers keep it simple exclusive exclusive exclusive ex ex- instruction in the bung- bung up ling-up of computer tape and selected selected selected sel sel- sel- sel practical business problems problems problems lems for destroying someone's good credit Passing grade in C or better in potty training Motel Hotel-Motel HM Management- Management Introduction to the hospitality hospital hospital- ity of the industry Overrating of your price structure sheet changing and serving eviction notices with a smile Basic swimming swimming swimming swim swim- ming pool seaweed culturing maintaining a dump advertisement advertisement advertisement advertise advertise- ment and the single girl food and beverage operations a look into bordellos and a quickie course in excuse making License plate copying ft 24 General abuse Welding- Welding 69 The study of arc welding equipment and their relationship to shop fires Instruction Instruction Instruction In In- in arc air cutting and how to dismantle any car part worth stealing in 5 minutes also deluxe review of safe cracking techniques in conjunction with acetylene cutting and dynamite Inert gas processes on steel aluminum aluminum aluminum alu alu- minum and melting anything your heart desires Welding positions positions positions including prone standing lying down and upside down with witha a brass rod in your teeth 22 hair and eyebrow eyebrow eyebrow eye eye- brow singeing General Education Eng Basic principles of effective composition review of proper slang word usage and 50 ways to leave your lover Essays on obviously useless and unimportant unimportant unimportant topics such as giraffe roping roping roping rop rop- rop- rop ing and platypus mating habits Survey of American literature and the leading idiots of today's modern works Effective speaking speaking speaking speak speak- ing and how to make a complete and utter fool of yourself in five easy steps Continuation of logic and critical thinking and why they seem to elude you Pencil manipulation 45 alphabets alphabets alphabets alpha alpha- bets 1 2 2 Im I'm OK youre you're a drip youve you've read the book now have some fun disillusioning your friends The theory of human behavior Why some people are called lovely individuals and why others you'd rather punch out Is there a split between mind and body If so which is better to have Aggression and rebellion discussed Students interested in these aspects are advised to take one of these summer courses Intro to Hostility Intermediate Hostility Advanced Hatred Theoretical Foundations of Loathing Special consideration is given to a study of consciousness conscious conscious- ness as opposed to unconsciousness unconscious unconscious- ness with many helpful hints on how to remain conscious Pre Pre- Understanding obsessions and phobias 2 the fear of suddenly being captured and stuffed with crabmeat Biology- Biology LS IS How the body functions and where it can usually usual usual- ly be found Gut analysis and frog dissection with material stressing stressing stressing stress stress- ing the importance of nose plugs presented Applied Calculus- Calculus MTH Discussion on the discovery of anew anew a anew new number between five and six the number is bleen at What this does in the reevaluation reevaluation reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten and how everything in the past is inaccurate ate now Sociology- Sociology SOC Introduction Introduction Introduction tion to God Confrontation with the Creator of the Universe through informal lectures and andfield andfield andfield field trips Literature Heavy Duty Machine Repair- Repair The poetry of Shakespeare is analyzed against a background of diesel engine re re- re- re pair Course open to a limited number of students Have a wonderful spring quarter |
