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Show A Mean Trick rrj tr By KARL GRAYSON Associated Newspapers WNU Service higher salary and a department head. "But Herbert was adamant. He had promised to join tbe Barkley faculty and that he must do. The Raeburn men became be-came panicky. They hemmed and hawed some more and finally final-ly confessed that they had suspected sus-pected Barkley of being wishful of securing the little man, but they had also felt assured, due to Barkley's disparaging remarks, re-marks, that the rival college would never break its tradition of hiring a professor who didn't have an M.A. degree, hence had not offered to raise Herbert's salary. But, under the circumstances, circum-stances, they would double whatever what-ever amount the Barkley board had offered for an annual stipend. NED GROSS knew all the reasons why Herbert Allis had left Raeburn university and when I expressed an interest in hearing them he grinned and looked pleased. Ned is a man who likes to tell stories and he appreciates ap-preciates an attentive audience. "I'll have to go back," he began, "to the time when Herbert was made a full-fledged professor and began his duties as an instructor of mathematics at Raeburn. Raeburn Rae-burn and Barkley, you know, are and have always been keen rivals. Not so much in the athletic field as in the academic. Each prides itself on its scholastic standing and each adheres to rigid rules concerning the qualifications of its faculty and its student body. "A tradition of long standing was broken by Raeburn when the board of trustees hired Herbert Allis, for Herbert didn't possess a master's degree. Now a master's degree may or may not determine a man's didactic ability, but at Raeburn and Barkley, too, it invests him with a certain dignity, and has always been a necessary asset. Herbert Allis was the exception, but this was because be-cause he possessed exceptional ability abil-ity in his line. In fact, he was quite famous, considered throughout the country as an authority. And Raeburn Rae-burn knew that by breaking an ancient an-cient tradition they had added one "Still Herbert wouldn't listen. And in the end he departed for Barkley despite the almost tearful pleading of the Raeburn boys. "Well, a month passed and then Herbert began wreaking his vengeance. ven-geance. The opportunity came when a metropolitan newspaper asked him for an interview. In providing information about himself, Herbert announced that he was pretty proud of the fact that he was the only professor pro-fessor ever allowed on the Barkley faculty who didn't possess a master's mas-ter's degree. Barkley, he said, had broken a much adhered-to tradition in hiring him. "When the article was pubished the Barkley board was slightly perturbed. per-turbed. They didn't like to be reminded re-minded that they had spoken disparagingly dis-paragingly of Raeburn for once hiring hir-ing this self-same man. But Herbert was famous and becoming more famous fa-mous by the minute and they were willing to take it on the chin. They knew that Herbert was a drawing card. "Raeburn, on the other hand, was quite bitter about it all. Herbert's everlasting bragging was getting on their nerves. Everyone was therefore, there-fore, quite surprised when, the following fol-lowing spring, upon occasion of the dedication of a new dormitory, Rae- Jiurn invited Herbert Allis to give the address. Herbert was flattered. "He spent hours writing out the speech, and when the eventful day arrived, he appeared in cutaway and striped trousers and mounted to the platform with his old friend, the chairman of the Raeburn board. And there he stood, puffed out and proud the only man who ever taught a class at either Raeburn or Barkley without possessing an M.A. degree. "Preliminaries .were quickly dispensed dis-pensed with. Herbert was announced an-nounced and with much gusto made his address. The crowd applauded and was on the point of dispersing when the chairman raised his hand. 'A moment,' he said. There is still one more event on our program pro-gram which I am sure you will all be interested in watching." The chairman turned to little Herbert and there was a twinkle in his eyes. 'In view of the great work and fame of our esteemed guest, Mr. Herbert Her-bert Allis, the board of trustees of this college has seen fit to bestow be-stow upon him the great honor of a master of arts degree.' "Herbert's mouth opened. He stared. He looked angry, made as if to protest, but hesitated as the cheers of the crowd reached his ears. He turned to them, as if in a daze, automatically bowing his thanks. Then he swung back to the chairman, muttered something in an undertone, turned and left the platform. And from that day to this he has not forgiven Raeburn university univer-sity for the mean trick it played on him. "Herbert was quite young at the time, a small, unassuming man." more point of fame to their long list. "Herbert was quite young at the time, a small, unassuming man, and was very grateful and proud of the honor which went with his professorship profes-sorship on the much envied Rae-burn's Rae-burn's shattering of the ancient tradition, tra-dition, and to Herbert's ears came eventually bits of gossip which seemed like a direct menace to his job. He was then quite unaware of the extent of his own fame. "But as time went on and the Raeburn Rae-burn board of trustees continued to maintain him on their faculty at the same handsome salary Herbert began, to use the vernacular, to feel his oats. That is, his fame and importance im-portance became so widespread that even the little man himself heard about it. It set him to thinking, think-ing, and after a time he took the bull by the horns and approached the Raeburn trustees in regard to an increase in his salary. "Much to his surprise the board awarded him the increase without the usual wrangling and red tape. In a sense this was a mistake because it stimulated in Herbert a feeling of confidence and self-importance. He didn't exactly get the swelled head, but he became more sure of his ground. "Meanwhile, Barkley continued to speak disparagingly upon occasion of Raeburn's rash move in breaking break-ing their traditions. Herbert wished something could be done about it. But at the moment no form of vengeance ven-geance presented itself and Barkley continued with its remarks, even after a nationally circulated magazine maga-zine published an article of praise and admiration concerning Herbert and his work. "It was following the publication of a second and third article in equally well-reputed magazines that Herbert began to wonder if there weren't more behind Barkley's derogatory de-rogatory remarks than traditional disapproval. And the more he thought about it the more firmly he became convinced that the Barkley board of trustees was envious. "And eventually a new and desperate des-perate plan took form in Herbert's mind. He re-read the three magazine maga-zine articles concerning his own greatness in order to give him the v necessary confidence, and then, in the greatest of secrecy, drove over to Barkley and called on the chairman chair-man of its board of trustees. The chairman received him graciously, in fact almost eagerly, and for two hours the pair remained closeted to- gether. "A week later Herbert tendered his resignation to the Raeburn board of trustees, and announced that he had been hired by Barkley college to head its mathematics department. The Raeburn board was shocked, indignant, incredulous. They consulted, con-sulted, went in a body to wait on Mr. Allis and after much hemming and hawing they offered him a much |