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Show IgaKHOBB, FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD Nancy was I secretly ashamed of her home. And because she knew her folks didn't have much money, she felt disloyal to them for wishing they'd fix up the house. FinaDy Nancy admitted ad-mitted her feelings to herself and decided to do something about them. She saved her allowance and when she had enough money she asked if she might paint the living room. The result was so attractive that Nancy's mother was inspired to dye the faded drapes. Dad got interested too, and built racks for phonograph records. Unfortunately guilt feelings are not always a spur to constructive con-structive action. Sometimes a sense of guilt degenerates Into self-pity, martyrdom, aUbl-ing, blaming and rationalizing that is, cloaking over real reasons with "noble" ones. Or a person takes an attitude of "As long as I feel unhappy about it, I'm still paying for my mistake so . I don't need to do better." j Parents need to recognize these signs of guilt feelings when try-Jng try-Jng to help adolescents. What do teen-agers have to feel guilty about? A teen-age magazine reports these as the most important impor-tant ones, according to a recent survey sur-vey of high school students: being jealous of brothers and sisters, being be-ing ashamed of parents, thinking a lot about sex, liking the wrong people, peo-ple, losing tempers easily, not being be-ing loyal to principles, persisting in bad habits, failing to make the most of opportunities. This list points up the fact that the parents' problem getting teen-agers to they have faults but cm " i- them to do something A friendly suggesUo60,' to be followed than mand. For example, it dT1 S to say to s tombr!'1 "Why can't you be mo ,h.S, Clinging to tomboy a reaction to thK. growing up. parent, c3 : courage the tendency tractive clothes and l'1 more feminine pursuit. x dancing. P , "Crushes" on a u v older girl should not Jf at; neither should couraged for a ion, JH stead, opportunities f J friendships can be encC perhaps by helping n, quire a new .km, tennis club or the pholt ' group will ask her hTj girl who experience, hmll, ' as pleasant will be able U in herself as a mother of i ing family and will , future role more easily In all these matters, howe,e . should be remembered (hit adolescent is especially senjT criticism. Usually he is ev&,T acutely aware of hi, she-.;-, j than are his parents. Often ltv'1. wardly appalled by his trW Parents can help best by po- out that we will all make tnkj and fall short of our Inner stii " but that honestly recognlajg!," and constantly striving to tap is successful living. |
