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Show THE INFANT PRODIGY STARTED TROUBLE Fond Mother (showing off young and those neighbors are not on speaking terms any longer? son) Now, Cuthbert, show everyNo. All diplomatic relations have body how nicely you can recite. been suspended. 'Twas the night before Christmas, How did that come about? when all through the house. He sent me a box of axle grease Cuthbert and told me to use some of it on my Mother Not a creature was stirwhen I started it at six ring, not even a mouse. in the morning. Cuthbert Well? What then? Mother The stockings were hung Then I sent it back and told him by the chimney with to use some of it on his daughters care. Cuthbert voice when she sings at 11 oclock at Mother In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be night. there. Cuthbert Poor Judgment Mother Splendid, darling! Now, So Miss Passay is- angry with her recite another one. doctor. Why is that? Not Encouraging He tactlessly remarked that he would have her looking her old self Love, says a philosoagain. Philadelphia Evening Bulle- pher, is flavoring extract in the ice cream of life. As cold as that? tin. So you OUR COMIC SECTION THE FEATHERHEADS HELLO, MV PEAR. &ACK FROM LITERARY CLUB MEETING-- ? Hear something - and ELEVATINGHIGHLY INTERESTING- - Today ? I. "DID 2 I Womans Club I ' of all Things club literary LISTEN I SHOULD SAY HEARD THAT THE COVN9LLS GoiNG- GeT Are THAT MR SMITH MEETINGS, PRACTICALLY' YolV ? i (A much NOT and I either. EnToY THESE DO IS DONT DONT U.KE MOST 0p THE WOMEN, MY EYE I YOU DONT REALLY tq AfslD A DIVORCE I MO nery lawn-mow- Bankrupt and hair-trigg- er A Iu4' er , X, 1 Wes, Them why DONT You quiTf YoU HAVE To PAV You SEE, BUT B LOUGH WONT Q.UIT NOT i DONT LIKE 'MRS SHE'S GOiNG-T- O AND RUN FOR FRESIPEUT IF I C?UlT I WONT BE ABLE To VOTE AGAINST Yet S- C- dues. Too, You? DON'T Her rT Poor Little Stenog. Sv My life is like the alphabet, complained the bored stenographer, just one letter after another. A Vy t For t Western Newspaper Cnlonc NONE LEFT ! Extra-Fas- t Relief KIDS KNOW Suspended Sentence said her mother, I Just dont know what to tell daddy about this unsatisfactory note you brought home from your teacher today. He is liable to give you a spanking. Cecelia, apparently unmoved, pondered a moment before replying. Well, you dont have to show it to him the minute he steps through the Going Somewhere Teacher Mary, what is wind? Mary Wind is is air when it gets in a hurry Washington Star. Cecelia, Demand And Get GENUINE door, do you? BAYER CERTAINLY ASPIRIN Mac has the hardest Job of his life this summer. Indeed! What is it? Trying to find a soft one. No Waiting The mistress of the house had en gaged a new cook and was explaining her duties. The master often brings three or four friends home to dinner without warning, she said. I see, maam, put in the cook. Youll be prepared for that, wont you? said the mistress. Rather, maam I replied the cook. Ill keep my bag packed ready. A Real Fixer Auto License Examiner Madam, if your car stalled on the car track, what would you do? Madam Phone my husband to come and fix it He can make any machine go. Surprise Mother You took the liberty of asking my daughter to marry you why did you not come to me first? Suitor But I didnt know you also of a unique process in manufacture, Genuine Bayer Aspirin Tablets are made to disintegrate or dissolve INSTANTLY you take them. Thus they start to work instantly. Start taking hold of even a severe headache; neuralgia, neuritis or rheumatic pain a few minutes after taking. And they provide SAFE relief for Genuine BAYER ASPIRIN Because Sisters Beau Wbat do you think your sister would like for her birthday? Tommy I think shed like a new beau. Agreed Does your wife often grieve Barber Made any plans for the summer? Mr. where Meek Yes Im going some- with the wife. What Could Be Safer? Nurse I lost sight of the child, maam. Maam Good gracious Why didnt you speak to a policeman? I was speaking to one at the time, American Mutual Magazine. maam; be- cause she threw over a wealthy man in order to marry you? She started Once, but I cured her in short order. I wish youd tell me how. I started in grieving with her and I grieved longer and harder than she fewest Hotel i Headaches "Spliftinq" she learned why she was til Angry Doctor Waiter, yoq are not fit to serve a pig. Waiter Im doing my best, sir. Common Faculty Hostess What do yon think of the violinist? Novelist He reminds me of Paderewski. Hostess But Paderewski is not a violinist Novelist Neither is this gentleman. POOR PERCY Salt Lake Citys POOEY! POOEYI REASON FOR DOUBT Perhaps What did she say when you asked for a kiss? Never. She means not yet. MODERNISTIC Young Doctors Wife Mary, go and tell the doctor theres a patient waiting to see him. Maid I wish youd go, maam, he maybe wouldnt believe me. Mi always MJlilll miserable ana found out about NR Tablets (Natures Remedy). 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