Show cio OD J 0 CAUSE FOR DISGUST tho the christening party consisted of the proud father the baby a girl the grandfather and the rest of the folks the grandfather stood nearest the priest during the ceremony the childs name asked the priest of the grandfather at the appropriate moment 1 I dunno the grandfather replied and he turned to the father and v whispered his hoar hoarsely bely its name hancl replied the father what asked the grandfather I hazel lazel repeated the father the grandfather threw up his hands hand 3 in disgust what dye think av that he asked the priest with tile the calendar av the saints full av gur rl names an him namin his after a nut saturday evening post his willing tribute judge we are getting up a little book to be made up for the most part of voluntary testimonials from distinguished citizens ft ho honor us by carrying their life insurance in our company we ve shall bo be very glad to have one from aou ou would you mind telling me in a few words how you came to insure with us not at all sir your agent was hounding me nearly to death for six reeks he be had made my life a burden I 1 gave him my application forline for life insurance just to get rid of him GREAT FAVOR L 3 M mrs rs farmer it if I 1 give you a meal what will you do for me weary willie well mum ill lot you name de baby after me tragedies told in headlines husband tries to wash dinner dishes smashes 47 worth of china candidate for initiation thinks ceremony too rough he makes a wreck of lodge room ballplayer whose sweetheart Is watching him from grand stand becomes nervous loses game gay Lot lothario barlo weds in haste finds he has married widow with seven children man who has sworn oft off from smoking wins six boxes of cigars at raffle raffie investigating for himself it was vas in the suburbs sir why are you climbing all these trees well im a retired business man ju just st retired yes been reading poetry all my life and taking their statements on trust I 1 dont like to take anything on trust poets have always given me to understand that there are no birds in last years nests now im climbing a few trees to ascertain if this statement is strictly true JUST REWARD I 1 weary willie dats de worst pie I 1 ever tasted tirs mrs JOPPS walt just a minute and ill glo gle aou ou a dollar that pie was waa baked by my husbands mother A second edison carmor yes sir that hired man of mine is one of the greatest of the century city boarder you dont say what did he be invent farmer fanner petrified Pe trifled motion judge I 1 bit at sea mrs g giving IN ing hubby a tip you might write something witty about the boat shaped hats v women omen are wearing this season I 1 guess I 1 wont put my C oar la in 1 HOT ONE it irb I 1 the chap your refusal of me has broken my heart the Ile heiress iress im truly sorry Is there nothing I 1 can do except marry you the chap no but if you could lend me a couple of hundred thousand I 1 might inight feel that I 1 had half lost ou in london my lady beckoned to the butler dobson she said in a halt half whisper as ah lie bent to catch her commands 1 I wish you would take particular pains to see that mrs busby burnem at the far end of the table gets an ample helping of everything make alake it a double helping if necessary dobson she seams seems to have an extraordinary appetite the butler nodded yes me lady ile he bent a little lower im told me lady I 1 that ashes preparing for quite a stay in jail cleveland cleneland plain dealer mother talks plainly daughter I 1 want you to be nice to that young druggist he will nill make you a good husband he the kind of man I 1 wan want t to marry 1 I know the kind you want ant to marry retorted the mother picking up a paper backed novel you want t to 0 marry either a duke or a gentleman raffles but there are none in your set now you look at that young druggist with kindly eyes and daughter subsequently did chos who and why chos that impressive looking woman over ponder mrs beckum ashes a remarkably mar kably strong minded woman and they do say that she commands a very large salary how does she earn it she earn it her husband earns it and so she commands it il puck IN THE GALLERY G 51 1 4 A he these are my ancestors she are they al dead he why certainly she how fortunate taking no chances Chanc cB genial squire many happy returns william I 1 was just going to call on you nith ft ath a little bit of tobacco william aged eighty thank ye kindly sir but I 1 be done wl wi genial squire why hows that william well ive heard that between eighty and ninety Is IB a ticklish part of a mans life so I 1 be no chances london punch endless fight my old barber has left the city you seem very regretful yea hes been trying to sell me a bottle of hair tonic tor for the past fifteen years and so far I 1 had bad succeeded in standing him off now I 1 shall have to ta start the battle all over with a new man value of the lingo learn to speak french then things bont ont cost coat so much in paris oil oh ou cant make ero em think ou are a frenchman no but sometimes you can make inake em think you are a russian or a spaniard occasional visitors A notable housekeeper ot of the last generation before the days of screens had just announced that she never had any hies flies but aunt augusta faltered thu timid visitor it seems to me that I 1 saw a few in tho the dining room oil oh those replied her aunt with a majestic wave of the hand were the neighbors flies they come in occasionally but as I 1 vas inas baying wo we never have any of our own youths Compan companion iou |