OCR Text |
Show THE WILL OF HUMPHREY Z. CLEEK I, Humphrey Z. Cleek, being of sound mind, do make this my last will and testament. I hereby give and bequeath: To my wife, Zenobia Cleek, my old five-passenger coupe in the hope she may get tires for it after the war; the two gallons of gasoline left in the tank at the time- it was put up, and the road maps which I wish her to keep if only in memory of the happy days when they meant anything. any-thing. I also give to her the car battery in the sincere hope it is not too far gone to be charged up, the six (6 cans of assorted soups which will be found in my strongbox at the Mercantile Trust company, the can of hash which is in my safe and the three (3) tins of sardines which she will find behind the clock in the kitchen. Also all can openers in my possession. II To my daughter, Aflagala, the four (4) cans ol peaches, the two (2) cans of sauerkraut and the smtll can of tongue which was left me by my late Uncle Frisby, and the pre-war jar of pitted cherries which I won as first prize in the 1942 Toopsey Heights Golf Club Fall Tournament. Ill To my older son, Buckingham, my original Hochstoff oil painting "Gentleman "Gentle-man Eating" and my Gabiny still-life "Tenderloin Steak," the mere inspection inspec-tion of which has meant so much to me in the last few months. rv To my younger son, Chidsey, my watch, the old family carving knife so reminiscent of better days, and my collection of American restaurant restau-rant menus, with the request that he treasure especially the ones showing 'dollar table d'hote meals and 40-cent luncheon specials with meatballs. V To my sister, Phronisia Dibbels,' the Cleek family coffee pot, which will be of much value as an antique, in testifying to the life of a bygone America. VI To my cousin, Zeke Fetherstone, the old tire which now hangs in the garage and which can be retreaded in more opulent times. VII To my aunt, Ella Belle Burpey, the second-string percolator, not because of any possible utility, but for whatever sentimental value it mdy possess for her. VIII ' To my nephew, Gideon Bloodworm, Blood-worm, my oil ration card. It was n,ever any good to me, but he is a man of energy and determination and may be able to do something with it. IX To Samantha McCarthy Persky Schmalz, maid in the Cleek household house-hold for the unusual period of almost seven successive weeks (unless she shall have carried out in the meantime mean-time her threats to go to work in the powder mill), any lamb chops that may be in the icebox and a half-pound half-pound of butter in appreciation of incredibly long service in my household. house-hold. Signed, HUMPHREY Z. CLEEK. Codicil. Having overlooked it inadvertently in the above, I wish that any sugar and such grains of coffee as may be anywhere in my possession go to my wife outright. I also leave to her, in trust, my 1934 Eagle bicycle. Nothing can prove of greater value to her in the present shape of things. FAIR WARNING Of little things so much depends; Beware of false acclaim. So watch the guys who pose as friends, Yet mispronounce your name. MERRILL CHILCOTE. OPA has cracked down on bowling alleys now, making them reduce their rates. They were only making pin money, as it was. Motorists are going to be rolling their own if tlie gas shortage continues much longer. Joe Nolan. "Winter may be difficult." Herr Hitler. The understatement of the month. "We have not done the slightest thing to France, England or even to America." Adolf Hitler. Now, come Adolf, dont you remember remem-ber that time you dropped ashes on the parlor rug? HoiuU-rson came in like a Iamb but he is going out like a Leon. "It's hard to think of the fuel oil mess today and realize that this administration ad-ministration was once accused of 'turning on the heat,' " says Elmer Twitchell. FORWARD LOOKERS A wise old droop Was Chester I. owe: He sold his car Two years ago! If you're out in an auto today the burden of proof that you should not have your gas card revoked Is on you, should a policeman hold you up. Elmer Twitchell was stopped tills morning and his alibi was that he was driving down to the ration board to see about coupons for getting get-ting a horse. |