| OCR Text |
Show Kathleen Norris Says: The Hit -and -Run Marriage Released by Western Newspnper Union. i KATHLEEN NORRIS T'NXhv "Any two young persons could work their way to successful marriage, if th husband had been taught the solemn responsibilities of matrimony, and the wif were a well-trained young creature, who takes her marital vows seriously." By KATHLEEN NORRIS " T T 7"AR conditions have f certainly put mar- riage into the hit-and-run category," says Judge Robert Williams Jr. of Suffolk, Mass. "Frequently now," he adds, "we have cases in which it is admitted that the couple saw each other only once, twice or three times before they were married. "Often there is no such thing as 'I want you to meet the folks.' The first time the parents see them is when they are brought home as inlaws." in-laws." Court authorities follow this up with the statement that marrying on a mere speaking acquaintance was the cause of the frightful jump in divorce statistics; nearly 2,300 last year as against 1,500 in 1940. Twenty - three hundred hopeful young hearts no, twice that many, for boys' hearts can break too, wrecked and embittered and disappointed. disap-pointed. It is a fearful total of un-happiness; un-happiness; it is something to make older married folk think. Where are we failing our children, that they can leap into the most serious relationship humans can know, so ignorantly, so lightly, and often so fatally? For fortunate second sec-ond marriages don't often follow on mistaken first ones. Sometimes the scars of the original failure last a lifetime. And if a child, or children, chil-dren, result from these hit-or-miss matches, they start life on most unfortunate un-fortunate terms. Blamed on War. "Well," say the mothers and fathers ruefully, "this is one of the tragedies of war. The youngsters are demoralized and excited. Young men have been torn away from home and college, are to be sent to far and distant countries, perhaps, never to return. Girls are prematurely pre-maturely matured by the atmosphere atmos-phere of chance, movement, emotional emo-tional crisis, dramatic situations. With so many chances surrounding surround-ing the future, girls and boys plunged ahead absolutely without thought. "Maybe he won't come back for years. Maybe the war won't end for a long time. Maybe they'll live in some foreign country after the war." Maybe this and maybe may-be that, but not often the sober probability, prob-ability, the unsensational truth. Not often "maybe he'll come back without a job. Maybe we won't like each other when we've seen each other more often. Maybe he'U Iook very different to me, out of his uniform. uni-form. Maybe he won't immediately get a good job after the war, and we'll face the necessity of living on the family. Maybe he ought to meet my mother and father first. Maybe he's tied up with some girl in his own state or with half a dozen girls in half a dozen states. Maybe I'll fall much more deeply with some other man, while he's away. Maybe May-be I'll have a baby immediately, and have to give up a good job and start taking care of the baby." ' All these possibilities have come true, for hundreds and hundreds of rash young couples. In New York a few months ago a girl asked her chum to go with her to' meet her husband, who was invalided home. She had seen him about a dozen times in all, and was afraid she wouldn't know him. These quick marriages are dangerous dan-gerous enough, but the real danger lies in the quick divorces. If our boys had been somewhat schooled in the solemn responsibilities of hus-bandhood; hus-bandhood; if they had been taught gentleness, patience, courage, faith in themselves, that they hardly knew these girl-wives of theirs, it would not be so serious a matter. Making It a Success. If girls went into even this higgledy-piggledy sort of marriage persuaded, per-suaded, under all the surface excitement excite-ment and hysteria and passion, that any marriage may be made a success, suc-cess, if the wife determines that it shall be. Any two persons, granted the first physical attraction that hurled them into matrimony as a start, could work their way to a successful suc-cessful marriage, if the husband were possessed of the aforementioned aforemen-tioned qualities of character and the wife were a sweet, inexacting, sensible, well-trained young creature who meant the great promise she made when she said "I do." The glory of golden wedding days has shone on many a man and woman wom-an who hardly knew each other when their hands were united. My own grandmother, at 17, was summoned sum-moned to the library to meet the man to whom she was to be married mar-ried on the same day. Of clean strong Irish stock on both sides, neither the principals nor the devoted de-voted parents had any misgivings as to the outcome. If we trained our children more carefully for the great duties of the marriage state, it would not matter so much who they married, and there would be many fewer divorces among them. "Boys' hearts can break loo. , . . |
