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Show SCHOOLS FOR TAXPAYERS "Washington, D. C The internal revenue department encourages collectors col-lectors in major cities to establish schools for instructing accountants and other representatives of large employers in filling out the new tax blanks. These 'trainees' would in turn school individuals." News item. That's what we need. Schools. With pointers, chalk, blackboards, erasers and apples for the teacher. And time out for spitballs to ease the strain. School days, school days, Dear old raise the pool days; Income and outgo and overhead Any old color as long as It's red; You were my tutor, more or less, You taught me to add, subtract and guess; I wrote on my slate just "SOS" When we were a couple of kids. Taxpayers need instructions. And for the first time the accountants need 'em. Schools will prove if our educational education-al system is any good. If It can teach people to fill out those new tax blanks it's wonderful. If it gets them by the first page it's still wonderful. won-derful. Yoo hoo, teacher. What do you want? I want to know if we are getting anywhere? That's funny, I was just going to ask you the same question. What page are we on? We have left pages and are now cutting the answers in stone. Is it easier that way? It ain't any harder. Teacher! What now? What's the score? Let's work it out together. I just kicked a field goal from my own 50-yard 50-yard parenthesis. You tried a forward for-ward pass from Paragraph 14, Page 5 and the referee penalizes us 10 yards and $400 for double talk. Was that for this year or last year's double talk? It's a little of each. I should have quit when I was even. Hey, teacher! Yes, yes. Please, may I leave the room? What for? I'm dizzy. That puts you in a higher bracket. Keep quiet and try to concentrate. I concentrated last year and had to pay a concentration tax. It will go on like that all through the school year. But think of the fun come graduation tjnie. You get a nice cap and gown, straitjacket, ball, chain and time off for god behavior. Also a certificate proving you are still ia a hole. Then a diploma di-ploma with the almonds inside, and the right t stand on your bead if you feel better that way. After which you plant the class ivy In the background back-ground around Section 19, Paragraph Para-graph 23, where the shade from the bughouse will protect It. (Note: We prefer an outdoor ichool. With playground attached. a a Seasonal Interview Between Axis Partners (by telephone). Hitler Is this you, Tojo? Tojo How can I be sure in my present condition? Who's speaking? Hitler This is Adolf. Tojo Adolf who? Hitler Adolf Hitler . . . H-I-T-L-E-R . . . Remember? Tojo Oh, the fellow who used to be in the war In Europe! I was wondering whatever became of you. Hitler Listen, how are we doing? Tojo You're taking the question right out of my mouth. Hitler I was thinking of asking1 Japan to come in on my side. Tojo Japan came in on your side two years ago. Hitler I heard rumors but I want them verified. . Tojo Is it true what they say about Russia? Hitler Izzit! Tojo Japan got a decision ther once. Hitler Why don't you try it again. It would be a big help to me. Together To-gether we might do something. Tojo You'll have to hold thote Russians alone. Hitler Whaddaya mean "hold"? -I would like to remind you that I counted on you to attack Russia. Tojo So solly! While Bloat for Sen. Byrd. Well, that delicatessen shop that Senator Byrd accused of churning $5 a pound for turkey, all white meat, has been lined a total of $00. The corporation was fined $(i5 and the owner $:tT. That's about the prollt on one turkey ami wo can't see, how the corporation or the boss can hear up under It. The WP11 1 now pornillllng production pro-duction of rnr.or blades. This is a Hood thing. A lot of Ameiieau.i win e lusinu farv with those dull blades. |