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Show Just JS a Littlef n NEVER, NEVER DULL The business man retired and went to live in the country. In due course a neighbor called on his wife. She said: "I hear your husband has taken up hunting. Do you approve of that?" "I don't know about approving," said the sportsman's wife, "but it makes life more exciting. We never know which to expect home first, my husband or the horse." Her Opinion "I hope that's a nice book for you to read, darling," said a conscientious con-scientious mother to her young daughter. "Oh yes, mummy, it's a lovely book, but I don't think you'd like it. It's so sad at the end." "How is it sad, dear?" "Well, she dies, and he has to go back to his wife." Star Boarder "Do you think you can keep that desperado in jail?" "I don't know," answered the sheriff. "We're doin' our best. We have fired two cooks he didn't like, given him credit at the licker dispensary dis-pensary and subscribed for all the magazines. But somehow we don't seem able to keep him satisfied." THE BRUTE Mrs. B You're a stony-hearted brute. Mr. B. Wrong. I had my heart examined today for life insurance and the doctor said my heart was O.K. Direction "I want to buy a present for my wife." "How long have you been married?" mar-ried?" "Ten years." "This way to the bargain basement, base-ment, sir." Tough Luck "As we swung gently to and fro in the moonlight, she promised to' marry me, old chap! Never will I forget the hammock I sat in last night." "Same here. The one I sat in broke." Prompted Star Yes, I said I wanted a home with at least ten children. Friend My dear, what makes you say such foolish things? "The publicity department." Allocated The Orderly Hi! Where are you taking that piece of meat? That belongs be-longs to headquarters. The K.P. I guess not. This chunk of lamb is tagged hindquarter.. Question Tom That is a striking bathing costume Miss Bright is wearing! Joe Yes; I'm not sure whether it is a short skirt or a wide sash. Palmist It is a skeptical fellow indeed who does not believe the fortune that a pretty girl reads in his palm. Remembrance The arrows of affliction are barbed with the memory of past happiness. FORGETFUL f "I beg your pardon. I forgot myself." my-self." "That's all right. People are likely like-ly to forget the trivial and unimportant unimpor-tant things of life." Not Needed Why have you no speedometer on your car? I don't need one. At 30 miles an bour the headlamps clatter; at 40 the windows rattle; at 50 the whole car shakes; and if I go faster than that my teeth chatter. Passable Wife You're lazy, you're worthless, worth-less, you're bad-tempered, you're ihiftless, you're a thorough liar. Husband Well, my dear, no man perfect. |