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Show Kathleen Norris Says: Don't Hams Aroimil a Man's Neck "1 showed Jerry this teller, and he denied the whole thing. He laid that only casual office civilities had passed between him and Arlene." TRUST DESTROYED After nine years of happy married life Carol North, 36, became aware of a changed attitude in her husband, Jerry. Jer-ry. He seemed abstracted, and although he tried to appear as kind and affectionate as ever to Carol and the three children, there teas obviously something on his mind. It wasn't business worry, or ill-health, ill-health, Carol wondered, until she received an anonymous letter from someone in Jerry's office. It told how he was having hav-ing an affair with a pretty divorcee, di-vorcee, 26 years old. Carol believes that she should try to keep their home together togeth-er for the sake of the children. She and Jerry talked things over, and he decided to end the affair. He seemed truly repentant, Carol says, and they hoped to forget the ugly matter. mat-ter. Carol however, is tortured with doubts and fears. She can never really trust Jerry again. By KATHLEEN NORRIS CAROL NORTH asks me an age-old question. There is only one reply. The question comes to me in a letter that explains that she is 36, has been married for ten years to a man two years younger. They have three children; a boy of eight, twin girls of five, they own their home, have a fine group of friends, club and social interests, in-terests, and an income that for some reason Carol's intelligence, in-telligence, I imagine is adequate. ade-quate. She writes me that until un-til about a year ago her life was one of cloudless happiness. happi-ness. "I don't mean we didn't have worries and responsibilities," responsibili-ties," she says, "of course we . did. But we shared them, and iing-Jerry as I did that sharing ma'de vef ythiiig sweet. I was so pi fud to be his wife, to spend his money I I healed my heart of the humiliation and pain I had suffered so long. We had always kept an unbroken front before the children, and they knew nothing of all this; there seemed to be no reason why we should not forget the whole thing. "But torturing doubts have made me miserable ever since. I find 1 don't wholly believe Jerry, I don'l really trust him. When he gives me some excuse for being away in an evening, or on a Saturday afternoon, after-noon, I suspect him of starting another an-other affair. If some girl in the office of-fice speaks of him I wonder if it is with that girl. I have seriously thought of trying to get work with the same company, hut the Impossibility Impos-sibility of getting domestie help makes that impracticable now. Sc I am writing to you, to ask you li you think I should trust Jerry, and if I am wrong in my attitude?" He Will Do It Again. My answer is, unfortunately, thai I think a man who does this once will do it again. His vanity has been flattered by the sweet poisor of Arlene's surrender; his sensations have been far too delightful to bf easily forgotten. It may be months, it may be years, but he will fail yot again. But that doesn't mean you arc wise in distrusting him, spying or him, suspecting him. You are ex tremely foolish to put your whole happiness in a weak, attractive husband's hands. Live for othei wisely, to raise his children. I would not have changed places with anyone in the world. 'Xast June I began to notice a change in Jerry. It was a very subtle change, but it didn't escape es-cape eyes as loving as mine. He was not quite at ease, he was more loving and thoughtful than ever, but curiously .abstracted. It made me anxious, but he assured me that he -was not worried about business or health, and I tried to quiet my fears. Office Love Affair. "Then I had an anonymous letter, let-ter, very specific and detailed. Jerry was having an affair with one of the secretaries in his office, a grass-widow grass-widow 26 years old. She has a boy one year old, who lives with the father, fa-ther, so that while I don't know what the reason for her divorce was, it seems probable she was at fault. "I showed Jerry the letter, and he denied the whole thing. He said that only casual office civilities had passed between him and Arlene. But a very little investigation proved "to me that this was an untruth, ard presently he confessed the whole thing. He seemed overwhelmed with shame, and promised to drop Arlene Bt once. "This was at Christmas time, and I watched to see the affair end. He did try to end it, becoming very irritable with the children and me at the times when he was not seeing see-ing her, and suddenly sweet and considerate when he broke through his resolution and took up with her again. The wretchedness of these fluctuations I won't try to describe; some wives never will know them, the others hate to be reminded of them. Finally he asked me for a divorce, so that he could marry Arlene, Ar-lene, but through storms and coldness cold-ness I stuck to my determination that my children should keep their father. "Finally he came to me in what seemed to be true repentance; Arlene Ar-lene went away and we were completely com-pletely reconciled. The joy of being in each other's confidence again things, your lovely children, youi friends and studies and interests and amusements in a word, live foi yourself. Take from him whatevei friendship, companionship, planning help you can get resign yourself tc the fact that your idol has feet a clay is selfish, weak, blind some times. The crudest revenge yoi could wreak on such a man is to give him his divorce, and let him find ou1 for himself in just what a fool's para dise he is living. But for the chil dren's sake don't do that; just rid out the storm, and realize that nt woman can have everything. yi I "His vanity is flattered. ..." |