Show kathleen norris says justice for the baby bell ov 0 4 a a between now and your wedding day try to build up between sylvia and karl a friendship that shot may solve all this with no separation lepar atlon between you and the child at ov all by KATHLEEN NORRIS years ago I 1 wrote NE J you about my expected college baby writes frances from an arkansas town this baby was the result of a winter of recklessness I 1 see that now but 1 I had joined a free thinking group in college and the thought thata that a woman is not privileged to have a child and raise that child without the farce of a few words pronounced over her and some man by a justice of the peace was ridiculous tome to me your advice was to have the baby privately and give it out for immediate adoption but I 1 loved the thought of a child all rny my own and determined to go home for the summer acknowledge my baby openly and try to persuade a supposedly open minded circle of family bamily and friends that hat things 11 have changed and the old narrow law against so called illegitimacy is outgrown well some ome of the circle baw saw things my way and tome some my dearest girl friend stuck to me and adored sylvia who reals la an exquisite thild child now nearing five my mother was wonderful quiet and sympathetic anxious tor for me to get in touch with the babas father which was out of the question but helpful all through certain cousins and aunts turned up their noses I 1 got a good war var job made lots of money and could do everything tor for sylvia my father died a few months after I 1 got home and mother lived live d with me mother wanted me to tell people that the babas father had been killed allied at iwo jima but buu buti I lie jane my friend married and her husband like our friendship I 1 would never have believed that anything would change her but the stubborn narrow man she married managed it they hey have two children i he even want them to play with sylvia well her heres os the present problem what nobody but myself even knew was that sylvias father was married when I 1 met him I 1 did not know it until we had been lovers tot for some som time he and his bis wife came to our town a few weeks ago they are childless and they want sylvia meanwhile I 1 have fallen truly in love lov with karl an engineer who Is if going to norway for three years yeam he H thinks it unwise for us to take the baby and would be glad to have me ma give her over to her father the equa slon in this that nobody takes into account Is my feeling for my beautiful affectionate little girl we have never been parted the she depends on me and her possessive my mommy is always ocher on her ups lips her fath father er will stand no half measures she must go to him unconditionally she sha must not seo see me again and believe as the she grows rows older that the she is his cifes child I 1 am torn tom two ways agonized by this decision the man I 1 want to marry is in everyday every way my ideal strong quiet tender and wise he is half norwegian and the prospect of life at a great construction plant indis la his fathers country sounds good to me only about sylvia Is he A charro bg met and lovable lovable baby A CHILDS FUTURE frances has a peculiarly difficult problem she is about to he be married to an e engineer engineer ng ineer they will go to nor a y where h er he has a contract lasting several years everything would be b 0 splendid except for or fran francess c ess illegitimate daughter the child is now five and very cute and loveable love able frances has been able to care for her since she was born karl francess fiance want the child he wants frances to surrender sylvia to her father a who is willing to take her as he is married and childless this would seem to he be a practical solution but frances at like to tobe be parted from her daughter nor is it likely that sylvia would be happy away from her mother miss norris replies that the childs happiness and future should be the first consideration of her mother adamant we will have other children he says ayi and he will never love hir her as ai he does them what ls Is the he best way 0 out ut ot of this forus tor us all the best way out frances was very possibly your surrender of the baby before you ever taw saw her face it if she Is what you describe charm and lovable some gome adopted mother and father would all this time have been giving her a childs right love and security it was your decision that deprived her ol of this and put you in position with hard choice before you I 1 whatever you do there Is pain in it for you and to in the solutions you suggest there seems to be small con sider atlon for or the child long ago she should have been placed beyond the reach of these disturbing and upsetting changes A married man who could have it a love affair with a college girl sound too safe a guardian I 1 and the wife who knew hersell cheated will not make too lo loving vinga a mother why not place this small girl with some kindly woman for say a year marry your karl and go to norway make him so loving and efficient a wife that he will want some day only to make you happy when aften you get your child back bach once to in your home sylvia win will make her own way her own father and his bis wife seem to me unfit guardians it would bg be a superhuman super human wife indeed who could truly love the child of hei he husband by a younger woman sho sh has never had children and would not understand sylvia nor his fa atherly indulgence of sylvia steel clear of them entirely and between now and nd your wedding day try to build up between sylvia and karl friendship that may solve all this with no separation between you an and d the child at ell all since you are independent enough to face the age old crisis of sylviai Sylv Sylvi lai alil birth five years year ago fac face ethis this onit oni too always keeping in mind that no nothing thing else matters except that thi c hild child shall be presently established in a loving and permanent home with a chance to forget the wrongs a and changes that have upset hei babyhood |