Show kathleen norris norr is says american women are different beu bell features Fent N she never thinks of a family as a great alt all embracing institution where an older woman and a very much older man of right belong by KATHLEEN NORRIS HAT is there chere in the W WHAT american americ an makeup make up that causes us to demand perfection anabe and be dis sati fled with anything short of it I 1 dont mean just the d domestic 0 perfection of fine sheets and clean rooms matching curtains and well cooked v ked meals I 1 mean something deep inside that destroys the peace of mind of 9 of our women out olevery 10 perhaps 99 women out of every why Is it that american Amerlean women enjoy real happiness only in brief snatches that are interspersed with long stretches of discontent and desues restlessness a ness frustration and sometimes despair french women italian women women of the scandinavian countries know no such misery each one of these accepts her destiny lives in it and nd with it contentedly mixes hir her good salads simmers her go good od soups mends and washes and airs the same dame old linens year a after year wears tor for years her substantial dress and warm shawl chats with her neighbors in the market place savors to tho the full all the ample joys of livin living numbly humbly content so much tor for the european women As tor for the orientals Orient als they hey live on a so different a scale that there simply Is no compa comparison alson I 1 knew one chinese woman w who h 0 carried with her wherever she went a fur rug and a three legged iron pot with these chen ling at home anywhere missy massy she said 1 I put lem em down I 1 no see em again how old the fur rug was I 1 do not n 0 t know the cooking pot was more than year sold families in europe live in the homes their ancestors established soften often with as many of those thoi e ancestors asare as are living chairs and tables and teapots tea pots last for generations A deep inner content in family life makes these things sacred the domestic group shifts enlarges Sh changes anges it is all good living to the busy beloved important woman of the house whether she Is hanging out snowy linens gathering wind fall apples welcom ling the new baby herself in black to follow the coffins ot of the de dead deadio adIt it Is her life and she likes it and lives it to the full even the english are much less demanding of circumstances and fate than we are ive had my husbands mother with me since I 1 was married said an english woman whose children are almost grown bouhad bob bad had three boys when I 1 married him said another so although I 1 was only 18 ive never been to a real dance because my mother and father were invalids joe and I 1 waited 11 years yeara before we could marry a third said cheerfully incidentally this patient woman has now a very elgh agh position and she and joe are an example of happy married life but gjul 0 she he hod to wait for lit it I 1 contra contrasted s ted with all these women are some in this country who write me letters about conditions that are not only perfectly normal but temporary our women seem unable to endure any burdens or inconveniences at sill all 1 40 J she want to be a matriarch COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS this is the richest countr country y in the world there is more ol 01 0 everything here than any where else even people considered poor by american standards live on a scale that is the envy of most europeans and of all orientals Orient als every A american meri knoils all this yet A american women i are the most discontented in the world those who are most favored often seem the most unhappy in europe women have become accustomed to acceptance of their lot hardships poverty illness crowded conditions dit ions governmental oppression all this they accept as part of life they try to make the best of it and are thankful for any good fortune they bear up rip under difficulties that tha t would send an american woman to the insane asylum oriental women have almost unbelievable endurance they are poor beyond our conception anti and must struggle hard for mere survival yet they are generally cheerful and uncomplaining seeking the unattainable many a woman cheats herself out ot of happiness dignity success as a human being by an impatient sense that she must always be struggling lor for something unattainable she must get rid of this piece ot of furniture and have those others ra re cov ered she must tear down the curtains and sent the dessert plates to the rummage sale her dining room Is actually repulsive to her because of the old fashioned light fixtures she never thinks of a family as a great all embracing institution where and older woman and a very very much older man of right belong where I 1 two small email motherless sisters may find refuge and visiting cousins be cared tor for in a general joyous scramble of made up cots and ey tended dinner table to be offered the part of a matriarch in the moyles movies would seem to her delightful but to play that part in real life offers her no attractions so each family splits into separated units each newly married couple entertains only its own few selected friends each aach bride feels that every hour her husbands mother spends in her house Is a distinct concession on her part pait she lights fights her fight alone cooks the company dinner single handed scrambles the children hobed tobed to bed rushes upstairs to change her gown he old gracious hospitality shared by old and young with grandfather to in his own chair and the children coming downstairs tor for dessert isa Is a thing of ol 01 the past less bess stress on material things more cultivation of the spiritual values in human relationships would make tor for us all a deeper fuller sort of living a surer safeguard in home ties less danger far less danger of those constant curo cure all trips to reno which are the gateway to a more intense unhappiness |