Show kathleen norris says what can parents do about it bell syndicate amu rea feature tures I 1 J sally has twice been reported to me by school authorities as frequenting roadhouses to houy ses smoking drinking by KATHLEEN NORRIS TT TE HEAR a great deal A about parents rev V for juvenile delinquency writes marn st john from seattle but not much about what and how and why and when parents can do anything about it ours is a normal househ household old of father mother two girls one boy small income no servant one car my girls 19 and 17 have jobs margaret makes goodmoney good money in a local defense plant sally has a part time job and keeps up with her college studies mart is in second year high margaret is a good quiet pretty girl but she has always been d discontented scon tented feeling herself socia socially ily h handicapped andi capped sally is ind independent I 1 pendent pleasure loving not affectionate or dom domestic estle mart seems to live a life of 0 f his own his boy friends are always here in the basement or he Is off with them in their basements 0 incidentally we have a spacious warm well lighted bi basement gojo go to Roq roadhouses houses never having had money maney en enough ou gh to enable my girls 6 to entertain or take their place in society I 1 I 1 cant blame them for finding their pleasures away from home the letter goes on but I 1 feel eel deeply the disadvantages under which they have had to suffer I 1 am as distressed over margarets periods of 0 depression as over sallys irresponsibility and independence margarets case Is serious enough to have needed medical advice sally has twice been reported to m me e by school authorities as frequenting roadhouses smoking drinking these are terrible words to write of arnes ones daughter but in my anxiety to find end an anaw answer r to this problem I 1 will not spare myself I 1 have worked hard all my life am a good cook manager the house is always clean and comfortable and my husband is a steady hardworking hard working man devoted to his family but he is somewhat quiet undemonstrative and puzzled by what goes on 1 I know we have failed with a neurotic child an unmanageable child and a boy whose interests appear to be anywhere than at home but how have we failed the letter ends well marna I 1 think perhaps you have failed ailed as most of us do in not realizing that good food education fatherly and motherly sympathy are not enough we cant be merely negative in solving this problem of safety moral safety tor for our children we have toi to struggle and work and plan to achieve it here in this college town where I 1 live I 1 often think of the martins and w what hat mrs martin did tor for her c hildren children there were tour four of them two boys and two girls they have lived tor for two generations in a rambling shabby big place just out of town they have always been poor for or the father is an asthma sufferer suffer r and works only intermittently the mother has helped out th tha f family mily income by taking children to board raising vegetables making cakes and jelly for the woman comans 9 exchange yet hospitality and gaiety and cooperation were the rules of this home and love was the undercurrent of it all I 1 have heard bee the oldest girl greet calling swains the strawberry bed come and help me fix these plants and ill tee see what mother has jor for help me fix these ahn plants entertaining AT HOW HOME A mother admits that she has failed her two daughters and her son have been seeking their pleasures away from home tome since their early teens one daughter has gotten into serious serious trouble the other only 17 has been frequenting roadhouses and other dangerous places the boy in second year high school brings his friends to the house but he seems to live a life of his own there is little family unity or real affection they have only a small house and the girls feel unable to entertain at home tome miss aliss norris in reply tells of a family she knows who lived con contentedly n ed in a small and h humble M bl e d dwelling 1 IT l ing yet who knew all the best people the toting young folks were quite popular a r and had corn company pany at home most of the time I 1 perl peri I 1 have seen phil and jack as eagerly and as skillfully fully helping to pack a picnic lunch as any two women could it might be only apples buns frankfurters but by the time the martins and their friends had dragged themselves to the top of some hul hill or gone off in the rickety car to some beach it tasted like nectar to them games at home father and mother instituted and led the games in this house there were guessing games at the table and nobody minded the fact that the entire meal consisted of one generous stew filled with garden vegetables and built around two pounds of shank beet beef phyllis the younger girl was as expert a cook at 14 as her mother was everybody in the martin house was busy and they always impressed callers into helping they never interrupted anything that was going on just because company came and the young people of my household used to come home to relate that they had assisted at putting the martin attic in order raking the martins paths or pasting photographs in the martin scrapbooks three of the martins married most happily in each case the sweetheart was one ot of the familiar guests of the household phyllls the youngest is now a WAVE and reports enthusiastically that all the girls love pencil games everyone loves pencil games guessing games charades charales cha rades theatricals atri cals hide and go seek with the lights out everyone loves to be drawn into arrangements and preparations one of the martin boys married the lonely lovely daughter of one ot of the rl richest chest and stiffest and dullest families in town this girl used to telephone bee martin wistfully on many a saturday night bee can I 1 come ask your mother IR ill bring two roast chickens and a layer cake in her own magnificent home the chickens and the layer cake were just uninteresting food but on the martins table with laughter and love teasing and competing challenge and triumph all about they became food for the gods it may be too late for marna but how about you it is never too early to start |