Show kathleen K ath b beij norris N 0 r ris says ty not ot the usual mother in law bell syndicate service d JI N 41 I 1 L A mother in law is u too 00 oo apt to be useless in in the As younger household houie hold looking on apathetically at as the difficulties of 01 sams wile wife never i thinking to say ill get dinner that night or let me gaiane go jane Iane ill do your errand or so go off with sam IU 10 e here with tm fi children by KATHLEEN NORRIS A A CHICAGO woman wrote me MC her problem about aa three years bears ago ago and sends me another letter lette r today im quoting both letters because they illustrate a difficulty that arises in many a womans comans life and because jane the woman who writes solved the question by the old cure of kindness patience and faith anhof and of course she was helped ba by nice old captain of the merchant marinel marine janes trouble was mother inlaw in law but not the usual thing jane was a widow with two little girls when she married sa sam m and a deeply and truly successful marriages marriage it has been they now have a girl and a boy are prosperous and devoted but a few months after aate r their marriage before her third daughter birth sam suggested that his hii mother come to visit them tor for a month jane was of course agreeable gram la is wonderful id been running a restaurant for two years she wrote and I 1 know knew all kinds and types I 1 made up my mind that sams mother should love me and I 1 succeeded the trouble gram cami came mes likes her room likes her meals likes my children has turned out to be a mond wonderful erful person we had the spare room made comfortable and pretty tor for her and as shel she has na no household expenses she can use her small income for little luxuries I 1 am keeping no help at this time because there is a baby babi coming but I 1 have a woman woma n come in every evening to ci clear ear up thle the dinner mu muss as gram helps me with everything else she is capable and quick and the work goes like magic dont think im unappreciative ot of the tact that we are re really ally congenial but she talks all the tim aimel ea even afim if im taking a bath she d Is apt to 6 wander in fun full of endless reminiscences and stories naturally lyshe she has no friends here ye yet tand and so I 1 am hr her chief companion wants to be aloni alone at times time sam of course is perfectly delighted that we like alks each other he be sees no reason dorthis tor for this arrangement ever being ended and I 1 find and myself the only person in the house bouse on whom it works a hardship I 1 p I 1 have al always ways been a great ea homebody home thome body I 1 like to be at home but sometimes I 1 get terribly tired of having to consider 5 someone else all I 1 the time jus just t to say well what are we doing would you like to see that picture or shall we take aake our sewing into the yard tires me when the baby comes sams mother will be the greatest help I 1 know that but if she only lived next door or had an apartment near us I 1 would feel that my house belonged to me again what shall I 1 do I 1 cant hurt her feelings but if you could write an article somewhat suggesting this situation I 1 would see fee that she and sam read it well I 1 write the ar article bicle but I 1 did write jane I 1 wrote her that every one of us has to live with SOMEONE orbe pitifully solitary an on the journey through life and nd that to have a cloying strong interested e s ted assistant just now was of priceless value to her I 1 reminded berthat her that when the baby came no 0 ther other woman in the world would be as much interested in welcoming the baby and teeing seeing that the house ran smoothly as her mother in law would mother in law sams mother is is capable and quick ick she helps me with iho housework wo rk and were conge congenial but there are times time s when I 1 want to be alone what shall I 1 dof do I 1 cant hurt her feelings I 1 read kathleen nor ru ris brank ronfe simple advice to jane jan e be and I 1 advised her frankly and simply to make the best ot of those occasional cas ional lonal moments when she was bored by too much conversation and not no t eliminate this inconvenience and so much that was happy and wholesome with ideal situation children loye a house with a gram in it a man is deeply content to come home and find the two beings he loves best in the th worlds world in harmony with one another housework is nothing when two women handle it together and keep every detail ot of it P perfect berfect jane had all that and have to pay too much tor for it and my advice to her was to ho hold on to this relationship as long as the older woman moman would stay evidently just what she did for now three years and four months later she writes me that a widowed old sea captain lip has turned up with a story of devotion to gram that began 9 an when they were children end and gram is married and off tor for south america andoh what a lonesome house this is without herl her writes jane she had been going to school aft err er to pick up the girls the baby adores her and my third daughter abw always ays slept in grams gram room and tu turned med to her before she did to me ine gram asked almost with tears to take one ot of them conj on the trip but we tin impose it on ha now though weve promised to some day I 1 so it an all turned out beautifully jane ends her letter and im thankful to god that I 1 never hurt the best hits husband band any any woman ever had hador or his mother either mothers ln IA law differ the whole story and of course its an unusual one most mothers in law are not eith either erwill willing nor experienced servants in a sons house and most daughters in law have not had th the training in handling human beings that jane had A mother inlaw in law is ii too apt to be useless in the younger yo household houi hold looking on apathetically at the difficulties of sams wife never thinking in 9 t to 0 say in ill get dinner that thai night or let me go gomane jane ill do your errand e or go off with sam ill be here with the children I 1 know one mother in law who landed herself upon her sons wife seven even 5 long years ago she had let hev her son invest some mone money 1 y tor for her during a a hard time and he has never been able to repay it it crippled her own income and she never lets the family forget that she was independent before john bought that stock that was a complete loss sh she le still has about 1500 a year but bt she spends it all on herself expecting mary mani to prepare nice little bridge luncheons twice a month not coming down to the kitchen until the dinner is ready to serve on the maids afternoon off criticizing everything ery thing dorl don and mary do if 11 anything goes wrong she says 1 I told you to so she tells guests just bow ho w mary and don fall ai as parents and will never allow either to criticize ar or discipline thi the little boy the suggestion that I 1 made to mary ma r y was that she and don rent their house bouse do their own we work rk pai pay back that fatal and so orld rid themselves of this burden |