Show kathleen norris says marriage Is the cifes job bell syndicate service D lk 40 we all know young couples who storied a few years ago with what an admiring world called everything wealth beauty position power all these save these husbands and wives ro m an and disgraceful appearance in the divorce court they did have everything v except code and character by KATHLEEN NORRIS MORRIS N THESE troubled times IN when our problems seem to be taking on a national rather than a domestic character it is more necessary I 1 than ever for the woman of the house mother wi wife e sister daughter whichever she may be to see that everything at home moves serenely and smoothly that home is a refuge for the workers who have to go out into the turmoil and discouragement of a war torn world women are the makers or breakers ers of marriage they are the builders or the destroyers desti of home ninety per cent of the success or failure of any marriage is due to the woman she can turn the most fortunate mating ng into the least ha happy appy or she can pick the ruins of 0 her marital venture from ashes and wreckage and transform them into happiness and security again everything but character we all know young couples who started a few years ago with what a an n admiring world called everything wealth beauty position all these save these husbands and wives from an early appearance in the divorce court and we all know other brides and grooms obscure poor plain inexperienced perien ced we know how radiantly confident they were its as they went from the quiet wedding to the two or three sma small 11 rooms that were home how they irradiated these rooms wi with th love and service how they built about ab out them strong walls walla 0 of true m married life raised fine children r rose 0 se in the world added on more glory to the glory of american life in the one case the man may have been spoiled rich selfish stupid in the other he may have been 6 schooled id 0 o consideration and generousness but in both cases it was because of what the woman was that the marriage turned out as it did here is a letter from a chicago I 1 man that illustrates forcefully the situation in one household in which the wife and mother seems determined to destroy her own life and those of her husband and child an inharmonious notise household holl ll 11 dear mrs norris writes don P 1 I am head of a shoe department in a large arge store 38 33 years old married 14 years and with a daughter of nine we liv live e to in a comforte com comfortable forta ble six room apartment own a car and my wife has the afternoon services of a good maid some years ago I 1 purchased a small cabin in the woods on a lake for vacation and weekend week end visits I 1 am a church member and have always tried to be considerate of my wife and generous to her as well as faithful evelyn was an extremely pretty girl she is much overweight now has dyed her hair a bright gold and uses much makeup make up clothes and what her women friends think of her clothes are her greatest interest in life but she also likes bridge poker and movies and she spends much time and money on beauty parlors breakfasts dines dimes alone my wife never gets up tor for breakfast our little girl dresses herself carries mama a glass ot of orange juice and trots off to school I 1 get orange juice and milk from the ice box bettylou betty lou always has iii 15 cents tor for school lunch I 1 lunch downtown and frequently return horns home at half past five to find that evelyn Is still away bettylou betty lou and I 1 do homework read the funnies listen to the radio and at half past six dine alone evelyn may telephone that she Is DEADLOCK A 4 child adds to the complications of 01 the eternal triangle one woman threatens her husband with the h high agh cost of divorce the other promises es to reward him no matter aro how expensive the final fina I 1 separation should he e pay now and take his reward or is is there another solution kathleen norris draws deep front from the well of knowledge and answers him briefly r not coming or she may come in late to nibble indifferently at her food explaining that they all had perfectly delicious sandwiches at marians evelyn does not like the cabin she has been there twice e only in the past year it means fire making dishwashing cooking for us all my little girl and I 1 love it but my wife dreads the effort last summer she took bettylou betty lou for two weeks to a smart beach placed bettylou with my mother for the rest of the vacation and went off herself to california with friends has met the other woman the problem Is that I 1 have met the other woman for two years she has been my rest my comfort m my y companion I 1 want to make her ber m my y wife she Is associated with me in the office a widow of 27 no c hild child no family other than a sister she is lovely gentle domestic lonely and god knows I 1 am last summer ann her sister and I 1 often went to the cabin for hours of such perfect felicity as I 1 suppose few men ever know we think alike feel alike we need no other happiness than that of being together but evelyn assures me that if there Is ever a divorce she will demand an alimony so great that that I 1 simply could not pay it ft out of my salary of a month she will ask for halt half and support ot of bettylou betty lou as well ann and I 1 might indeed exist on what was left but with my insurance to pay and the taxes on my mothers little house our income would not be more than 1000 a year the child she would so love to have would hardly be welcome on that feels trapped helpless 1 I feel trapped maddened my marriage has not been a marriage for many years evelyn knows that she actually dislikes me she gives nothing thing takes everything 1 in the beginning I 1 tried hard tor for success gave her everything every I 1 could her bills have now plunged me more than 2000 into debt she says she adores our child neglects her for days at a time then buys her new frocks and candy and spoils her for a day or two the atmosphere of my home Is unbearable and yet should I 1 force a divorce I 1 am ruined I 1 have nothing to offer ann and the world will blame me for deserting that sweet little woman and that lovely child Is this a deadlock what can I 1 do time may offer a solution my answer Is it Is a deadlock and you must grin and bear it don there any way out at the moment should evelyn tall in love with some other man and ask a divorce that might be different console yo coursell ursell that half the lives now being lived in america aberici have known insufferable condit conditions lofts like you yours rs insufferable boredom physical disability restlessness poverty we all get a turn at every one of them to love desperately and desperately desire to fling aside all the ties of the past doesn doean t put you in a category all by yourself enjoy your friendship with ann as m much uch an in honor you may revel in your small girls affection and companionship ion ship and give patience an and dilme lime a chance |